I don't trust men with curly hair. I can't help picturing small birds lying sulfurous eggs in there.
OMG
OMG OMG OMG
I've watched the new kdrama IRIS and it is FRIGGING AWESOME.
Spies, assassins, explosions, makeouts, action, drama, gratuitous male nudity, eyeliner-wearing bad guys, love triangles all over the place, promises of some kind of mystery/conspiracy (the way to my heart) but above all: an OTP I love wholeheartedly without any of the usual caveats.
They're sexy and flirty and their chemistry is off the charts. You know how they meet? In university. Insulting each other over history. The hero is intrigued by the heroine because she's smart. He courts her (which she ignores), tries to impress her (which she isn't), and even hits the books to outsmart her in class (to which she smilingly shuts him down and he sneaks little glances of instant adoration when he thinks she isn't looking).
I think they hit me so hard because I'd just been watching You're Beautiful, where everyone loooves the heroine because she's so naive and cutely clumsy and isn't it sweet and don't you just adore her?
And then I watched IRIS, where the hero is charmed, fascinated, attracted to a woman with a brain she isn't afraid to use and an alcohol tolerance he can't even begin to match. (Yeah, she drinks him under the table.)
I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME.
THEY PLAY FOOTSIE IN TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT MEETINGS IN BUILDINGS THAT DON'T OFFICIALLY EXIST!
LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Our hero, killer extraordinaire, probable shopper at Macy's.
Within the first five minutes he's a black-clad ninja assassin toting sniper rifles and BREAKING PEOPLE'S NECKS. I. I. Something is wrong with me. Because I thought it was really hot.
On the course of his mission (during which he kills at least three people in ten minutes, and seriously this shouldn't be hot) he establishes himself as a CRAZY GODDAMN TERMINATOR WHO WILL NOT GO DOWN.
He's chased by the authorities, beat up, SHOT, dumped off a railing, targeted for fire from a fucking helicopter, and what finally gets him down?
A MOTHERFUCKING MISSILE BLOWS UP A TRAIN, so his BLEEDING BULLET-BITTEN BODY IS THROWN BY THE IMPACT AGAINST A CAR.
He finally calls it quits when the OST starts with solemn opera music, because when they bring out the opera music, you're fucked.
Flashback to happier times! (In my head I call them RAMBO: THE EARLY YEARS.)
He is happy and sweaty and gay and soldierly!
With deep, deep plot.
Deep plot.
True love comes in the form of verbal sparring, where "you're simple-minded and ignorant" is secretly code for "you hot bitch, take me hard."
Trying to impress, he rattles off some war statistics...
And while he's still smug with success, she smiles and cuts him off at the knees. It's a beautiful thing to witness.
Defeated, humiliated, and firmly put in his place, he decides this is the perfect time to ask her to tea. She refuses.
Alcohol, though, she says. Alcohol we could do.
INSTANT HILARITY. It quickly becomes clear she can drink him under the table, tossing back DRINK AFTER DRINK while he struggles for composure in face of her calm superiority. He's like *DESPAIR* and she just goes :) :) :) :) and a;dsdfkljsdklfsdfklsjdfksdf I LOVE THEM.
LOVE HURTS.
He eventually collapses at the table and she pays the bill and leaves. LOOOOOOOL.
We take a brief pause for more plot.
Plot is important. *nods*
This is a scene we couldn't have understood if they were clothed. We ought to write a thank-you letter to the producers for such thoughtfulness. I feel like I completely understand their characters now.
But wait! Secondary guy meets a beautiful girl at a bar, with no idea she's the woman of his best friend's dreams! I actually laughed out loud, guys. I eat this shit up like candy.
They both moon and croon over lady perfect, neither knowing they're talking about the same one.
Then it's time to be tortured!
No, seriously. They're taken to cages and strapped to chairs and they writhe and moan for our entertainment. What kind of sick fucks make your television, Korea? I watched it twice.
GUESS WHO ELSE IS WATCHING?
The torture lasts until Hero gets pissed, busts through the straps, beats down the guards, and takes a chair to the observation window in a fury.
All while she watches calmly.
HE CRACKS THE PROTECTIVE WINDOW. HE OVERPOWERS THE DOCTOR AND INJECTS HIM WITH HIS OWN NEEDLE. THAT IS SOME JACK BAUER RAMBO-ASS SHIT, Y'ALL. HULK SMAAAAAASH!
(The best part is when another observer is like, "No, don't go in there yet, I think he might be angry." UHHHHH... NO SHIT??)
Of course it was all a test to prove their worthiness to become super secret agents. It's kinda funny how they hurt the hell out of them, then give them suits and training and said "welcome to the ranks!" But there's one more surprise left --
THEIR MYSTERY WOMAN IS AN AGENT-SLASH-PROFILER.
AND THEIR BOSS.
At this point I had to pause the video to laugh hysterically.
"Are you telling me that the beautiful woman I accidentally met at a college I don't even attend was somehow not a coincidence?" His sense of betrayal is unspoken but hilarious. "You mean... you're a government agent trained in deception and information gathering... your entire career is about scrutinizing weakness and then pouncing with all the mercy of a hungry viper... and you lied to me??"
The best part is when she snaps back: "Watch your mouth. I'm your boss." BOOYAH.
Proving once again he has no self-preservation, he decides the best retort is to kiss her.
She's all "no! no...!"
"Well, wait..."
"Let me think about it..."
"I guess your tongue's already in there and everything... "
They MAKE OUT, with tongue, yes I mean actual mouth movement, for a good THIRTY SECONDS. I'm pretty sure they used up their entire kdrama quota for sexytime in that one kiss.
HOW ARE THEY SO PRETTY?
*______* I want to reach inside my screen and run fingers through his hair.
It really stuns the two macho chest-beating heroes when they strut into their first mission... only to find her ALREADY THERE, WORKING UNDERCOVER.
I'm too lazy to check viikii to remember what they're saying, so just know they're flirting without acknowledging they're flirting.
SEX SEX SEX A;LFKL;SJDLSDFJSDKLF
GUH. GUUUUUH. It's like the producers realized, okay, we're in an Asian drama and we can't get away with anything more risque than kissing and some light physical contact. So let's embrace that and LET THEM PLAY FOOTSIE IN OFFICIAL MEETINGS and we'll give sweet, sexy, playful closeups of his fingers casually running up her ankle while her lips part and his curl into a smile. YUM.
AND HE GETS HIS REVENGE. HEEEEE.
Girlfriend, by the way, can take care of herself. When her cover is blown, she immediately wheels on her mark and like, punches him, throws an elbow in his face, KICKS HIM BACK AGAINST THE WALL. You may call her Mrs. Hulk.
T.O.P., ruthless rival assassin, wearing what appears to be a friendship bracelet.
I might have a tiiiiny competence kink. Like, watching highly qualified people being good at the shit they do? That's hot. That's when all my buttons get pushed and neck-snapping becomes attractive.
JESUS THAT'S NOT OT3 AT ALL GUYS
MY FRIENDS AND I DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
GOD, I'M GONNA LOVE THIS DRAMA.
OMG OMG OMG
I've watched the new kdrama IRIS and it is FRIGGING AWESOME.
Spies, assassins, explosions, makeouts, action, drama, gratuitous male nudity, eyeliner-wearing bad guys, love triangles all over the place, promises of some kind of mystery/conspiracy (the way to my heart) but above all: an OTP I love wholeheartedly without any of the usual caveats.
They're sexy and flirty and their chemistry is off the charts. You know how they meet? In university. Insulting each other over history. The hero is intrigued by the heroine because she's smart. He courts her (which she ignores), tries to impress her (which she isn't), and even hits the books to outsmart her in class (to which she smilingly shuts him down and he sneaks little glances of instant adoration when he thinks she isn't looking).
I think they hit me so hard because I'd just been watching You're Beautiful, where everyone loooves the heroine because she's so naive and cutely clumsy and isn't it sweet and don't you just adore her?
And then I watched IRIS, where the hero is charmed, fascinated, attracted to a woman with a brain she isn't afraid to use and an alcohol tolerance he can't even begin to match. (Yeah, she drinks him under the table.)
I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME.
THEY PLAY FOOTSIE IN TOP SECRET GOVERNMENT MEETINGS IN BUILDINGS THAT DON'T OFFICIALLY EXIST!
LOVE LOVE LOVE.
Our hero, killer extraordinaire, probable shopper at Macy's.
Within the first five minutes he's a black-clad ninja assassin toting sniper rifles and BREAKING PEOPLE'S NECKS. I. I. Something is wrong with me. Because I thought it was really hot.
On the course of his mission (during which he kills at least three people in ten minutes, and seriously this shouldn't be hot) he establishes himself as a CRAZY GODDAMN TERMINATOR WHO WILL NOT GO DOWN.
He's chased by the authorities, beat up, SHOT, dumped off a railing, targeted for fire from a fucking helicopter, and what finally gets him down?
A MOTHERFUCKING MISSILE BLOWS UP A TRAIN, so his BLEEDING BULLET-BITTEN BODY IS THROWN BY THE IMPACT AGAINST A CAR.
He finally calls it quits when the OST starts with solemn opera music, because when they bring out the opera music, you're fucked.
Flashback to happier times! (In my head I call them RAMBO: THE EARLY YEARS.)
He is happy and sweaty and gay and soldierly!
With deep, deep plot.
Deep plot.
True love comes in the form of verbal sparring, where "you're simple-minded and ignorant" is secretly code for "you hot bitch, take me hard."
Trying to impress, he rattles off some war statistics...
And while he's still smug with success, she smiles and cuts him off at the knees. It's a beautiful thing to witness.
Defeated, humiliated, and firmly put in his place, he decides this is the perfect time to ask her to tea. She refuses.
Alcohol, though, she says. Alcohol we could do.
INSTANT HILARITY. It quickly becomes clear she can drink him under the table, tossing back DRINK AFTER DRINK while he struggles for composure in face of her calm superiority. He's like *DESPAIR* and she just goes :) :) :) :) and a;dsdfkljsdklfsdfklsjdfksdf I LOVE THEM.
LOVE HURTS.
He eventually collapses at the table and she pays the bill and leaves. LOOOOOOOL.
We take a brief pause for more plot.
Plot is important. *nods*
This is a scene we couldn't have understood if they were clothed. We ought to write a thank-you letter to the producers for such thoughtfulness. I feel like I completely understand their characters now.
But wait! Secondary guy meets a beautiful girl at a bar, with no idea she's the woman of his best friend's dreams! I actually laughed out loud, guys. I eat this shit up like candy.
They both moon and croon over lady perfect, neither knowing they're talking about the same one.
Then it's time to be tortured!
No, seriously. They're taken to cages and strapped to chairs and they writhe and moan for our entertainment. What kind of sick fucks make your television, Korea? I watched it twice.
GUESS WHO ELSE IS WATCHING?
The torture lasts until Hero gets pissed, busts through the straps, beats down the guards, and takes a chair to the observation window in a fury.
All while she watches calmly.
HE CRACKS THE PROTECTIVE WINDOW. HE OVERPOWERS THE DOCTOR AND INJECTS HIM WITH HIS OWN NEEDLE. THAT IS SOME JACK BAUER RAMBO-ASS SHIT, Y'ALL. HULK SMAAAAAASH!
(The best part is when another observer is like, "No, don't go in there yet, I think he might be angry." UHHHHH... NO SHIT??)
Of course it was all a test to prove their worthiness to become super secret agents. It's kinda funny how they hurt the hell out of them, then give them suits and training and said "welcome to the ranks!" But there's one more surprise left --
THEIR MYSTERY WOMAN IS AN AGENT-SLASH-PROFILER.
AND THEIR BOSS.
At this point I had to pause the video to laugh hysterically.
"Are you telling me that the beautiful woman I accidentally met at a college I don't even attend was somehow not a coincidence?" His sense of betrayal is unspoken but hilarious. "You mean... you're a government agent trained in deception and information gathering... your entire career is about scrutinizing weakness and then pouncing with all the mercy of a hungry viper... and you lied to me??"
The best part is when she snaps back: "Watch your mouth. I'm your boss." BOOYAH.
Proving once again he has no self-preservation, he decides the best retort is to kiss her.
She's all "no! no...!"
"Well, wait..."
"Let me think about it..."
"I guess your tongue's already in there and everything... "
They MAKE OUT, with tongue, yes I mean actual mouth movement, for a good THIRTY SECONDS. I'm pretty sure they used up their entire kdrama quota for sexytime in that one kiss.
HOW ARE THEY SO PRETTY?
*______* I want to reach inside my screen and run fingers through his hair.
It really stuns the two macho chest-beating heroes when they strut into their first mission... only to find her ALREADY THERE, WORKING UNDERCOVER.
I'm too lazy to check viikii to remember what they're saying, so just know they're flirting without acknowledging they're flirting.
SEX SEX SEX A;LFKL;SJDLSDFJSDKLF
GUH. GUUUUUH. It's like the producers realized, okay, we're in an Asian drama and we can't get away with anything more risque than kissing and some light physical contact. So let's embrace that and LET THEM PLAY FOOTSIE IN OFFICIAL MEETINGS and we'll give sweet, sexy, playful closeups of his fingers casually running up her ankle while her lips part and his curl into a smile. YUM.
AND HE GETS HIS REVENGE. HEEEEE.
Girlfriend, by the way, can take care of herself. When her cover is blown, she immediately wheels on her mark and like, punches him, throws an elbow in his face, KICKS HIM BACK AGAINST THE WALL. You may call her Mrs. Hulk.
T.O.P., ruthless rival assassin, wearing what appears to be a friendship bracelet.
I might have a tiiiiny competence kink. Like, watching highly qualified people being good at the shit they do? That's hot. That's when all my buttons get pushed and neck-snapping becomes attractive.
JESUS THAT'S NOT OT3 AT ALL GUYS
MY FRIENDS AND I DO THIS ALL THE TIME.
GOD, I'M GONNA LOVE THIS DRAMA.