WARNING: DO NOT LET DR. MARIO TOUCH YOUR GENITALS. HE IS NOT A REAL DOCTOR.
twothreefour and I somehow got on the topic of a Pin drama, and she said this: "Jin and Yamapi in a drama together-- Boob and Boobs. I like it."
I blame her fully.
The Adventures of Boob and Boobs, or:
Six Dramas Johnny Will Give Us If He Really Loves Us
1.
"They made us ninjas," Jin says, voice hushed in awe.
"Like any production would be stupid enough to let you around sharp objects," Ryo scoffs, and plucks the script from Jin's fingers. "What is it really? The misadventures of two idiots? Will there be crossdressing involved? I can't watch, I may vomit -- Pi?"
"They made us ninjas," Yamapi echoes, eyes wide.
"Oh, god," Ryo says.
2.
They're rock stars.
"We should trash our dressing room," Jin says happily. "That's what they do in America, right?"
(Jin has seriously taken to heart the American rock star tradition. His list of demands, carefully composed and given to the makeup girls:
glitter
rope
moist towelettes
yellow m&ms with the shells scraped off
live monkey
" ... I get to name it," Pi tells him. "This is why you're my best friend," Jin says, with all his heart.)
"Hey, Jin," Pi calls, eyeing his wardrobe. "Can you read thi --"
But Jin's picked up his character's guitar ("I call her... Roxanne") and doesn't seem to realize it's electric, so what he strums is something so painfully non-musical that the makeup girls come scurrying to see who's dying.
Yamapi sighs, and picks up the I AM A PLAGUE UNDER THE SHOES OF MY BETTERS jacket without further complaint.
3.
P is the mysterious cyber identity with questionable hair and a fondness for food. ("Actually, I prefer L," Yamapi says.)
Uebo ("it's brilliant," Jin explains, "no will know it's me!") is a blind singer of sashaying hips and indeterminable intellect. (This basically means that Jin is playing himself, only with an excuse to bump into things a lot.)
TOGETHER, THEY FIGHT CRIME.
4.
Pi is the fumbling new secretary ("secretary?") at the prestigious law offices of Mr. Akanishi Jindo.
When the staff goes home, Jin lets Pi touch his fax machine.
5.
"No, seriously, we want to be ninjas," Jin insists, and production talks to the writers who talk to Johnny, who says things like "I brought you into this business, and I can take you out," but eventually waves his hand and gives them the go-ahead for a masked caper in episode three.
"Daite daite niii-iinja," Pi croons, badly off-key and not even attempting proper karaoke, as Jin whoops and sloshes an impressive amount of spiked apple juice all over himself. "Tsuyoku, tsuyoku, tsu -- ku -- daite?" He laughs.
"Ninja!" Jin cheers, and gives an enthusiastic, if terribly sloppy, toast.
Yamapi starts doing the daite swivel dance.
"Children," Kame mutters, turning up his collar and slinking into his seat. He looks at Ryo. "What do you think it'll really be like?"
"Two idiots on the same set," Ryo snorts. "With weaponry."
"Oh, god," Kame says, as Yamapi gives a particularly heartfelt hip thrust and falls over.
6.
They're best friends since middle school. Actors. One day they're on set early, trying on costumes, and Pi's shucking off his pants when he catches Jin staring at something that most boys don't pay attention to on other boys. (Tackey and Tsubasa notwithstanding.)
"If you gained weight and your boobs got bigger," Jin muses. "Does this mean other things -- "
Yamapi hits him and shoves him, in that order. "Besides, I wouldn't want to make you jealous."
Jin's eyes narrow, and he launches himself at Yamapi's crotch.
They wind up tumbling to the floor, Jin trying his hardest to get inside Yamapi's pants ("it's for science, Pi!") and Yamapi twisting and turning and occasionally knocking his head into things ("I knew you weren't over this phase! I knew Koki wasn't walking funny because of the skirt!") and then Pi makes a blind grab for Jin's crotch and demands "how do YOU like it then, Bakanishi?!" and Jin stills and breathes out and says,
"Actually -- "
Oops. Wait. That's real life.
Carry on.
I blame her fully.
The Adventures of Boob and Boobs, or:
Six Dramas Johnny Will Give Us If He Really Loves Us
1.
"They made us ninjas," Jin says, voice hushed in awe.
"Like any production would be stupid enough to let you around sharp objects," Ryo scoffs, and plucks the script from Jin's fingers. "What is it really? The misadventures of two idiots? Will there be crossdressing involved? I can't watch, I may vomit -- Pi?"
"They made us ninjas," Yamapi echoes, eyes wide.
"Oh, god," Ryo says.
2.
They're rock stars.
"We should trash our dressing room," Jin says happily. "That's what they do in America, right?"
(Jin has seriously taken to heart the American rock star tradition. His list of demands, carefully composed and given to the makeup girls:
" ... I get to name it," Pi tells him. "This is why you're my best friend," Jin says, with all his heart.)
"Hey, Jin," Pi calls, eyeing his wardrobe. "Can you read thi --"
But Jin's picked up his character's guitar ("I call her... Roxanne") and doesn't seem to realize it's electric, so what he strums is something so painfully non-musical that the makeup girls come scurrying to see who's dying.
Yamapi sighs, and picks up the I AM A PLAGUE UNDER THE SHOES OF MY BETTERS jacket without further complaint.
3.
P is the mysterious cyber identity with questionable hair and a fondness for food. ("Actually, I prefer L," Yamapi says.)
Uebo ("it's brilliant," Jin explains, "no will know it's me!") is a blind singer of sashaying hips and indeterminable intellect. (This basically means that Jin is playing himself, only with an excuse to bump into things a lot.)
TOGETHER, THEY FIGHT CRIME.
4.
Pi is the fumbling new secretary ("secretary?") at the prestigious law offices of Mr. Akanishi Jindo.
When the staff goes home, Jin lets Pi touch his fax machine.
5.
"No, seriously, we want to be ninjas," Jin insists, and production talks to the writers who talk to Johnny, who says things like "I brought you into this business, and I can take you out," but eventually waves his hand and gives them the go-ahead for a masked caper in episode three.
"Daite daite niii-iinja," Pi croons, badly off-key and not even attempting proper karaoke, as Jin whoops and sloshes an impressive amount of spiked apple juice all over himself. "Tsuyoku, tsuyoku, tsu -- ku -- daite?" He laughs.
"Ninja!" Jin cheers, and gives an enthusiastic, if terribly sloppy, toast.
Yamapi starts doing the daite swivel dance.
"Children," Kame mutters, turning up his collar and slinking into his seat. He looks at Ryo. "What do you think it'll really be like?"
"Two idiots on the same set," Ryo snorts. "With weaponry."
"Oh, god," Kame says, as Yamapi gives a particularly heartfelt hip thrust and falls over.
6.
They're best friends since middle school. Actors. One day they're on set early, trying on costumes, and Pi's shucking off his pants when he catches Jin staring at something that most boys don't pay attention to on other boys. (Tackey and Tsubasa notwithstanding.)
"If you gained weight and your boobs got bigger," Jin muses. "Does this mean other things -- "
Yamapi hits him and shoves him, in that order. "Besides, I wouldn't want to make you jealous."
Jin's eyes narrow, and he launches himself at Yamapi's crotch.
They wind up tumbling to the floor, Jin trying his hardest to get inside Yamapi's pants ("it's for science, Pi!") and Yamapi twisting and turning and occasionally knocking his head into things ("I knew you weren't over this phase! I knew Koki wasn't walking funny because of the skirt!") and then Pi makes a blind grab for Jin's crotch and demands "how do YOU like it then, Bakanishi?!" and Jin stills and breathes out and says,
"Actually -- "
Oops. Wait. That's real life.
Carry on.