Since everyone else is updating I may as well
Well This whole time without a car has given me even more time to think, and not just cause everything takes like 10 minutes longer to get to. I have given alot of thought to the rest of my life, This shit cant keep happening, I mean this lets get ahead and then be stuck back in the shit house agian, Whatever is responsible for it I thought I would be able to get rid of but I think I was the cause of it. Up till recently I was a very childish little kid, I had no clue how the world works and how I should be acting to what is happening in my life. Its all a journey of self-discovery I found out, your always finding things out about yourself you never knew. All this has been happening due to my overwelming negativity That is my own brain, I need to not think so badly about things and just focus on the thing ahead, Fuck man I'm 22 still living at home and now dropped out of college at what point does this look good on me. I respond to that with I am a free lance videographer for a very good bunch of people, I the guys at mirror image have proven to me that they are the job I always have been looking for. This is what happened at the office on tuesday I dont remember if I typed this or not but it deserves a second mentioning.
ME: Matt do you know any place I can get a good car?, Mine just broke like for good.
Matt: what, you need a car, why dont you just take that red one outside?
Me: what?
Matt: Yeah Evan took it when his car broke down.
This is when I find out i have become so non trustant that I cant even accept someones generosity. I instantly wonder what he wants in return and why hes being so nice, I even go into wondering if hes going to fire me.
this is what really gets me though, were driving back from the site where I'm going to be filming this weekend and I asked him about a freinds wedding that I said I would film before I got my job there Rachaels wedding to be percise. He replys,
Matt: Rick you have a talent for this, why wouldnt you want to be getting paid for it? Sure you have a few issues but you really have an eye for this, and your shooting better than some of the people we've had with us for years. What he learns in months you learn in days.
I was in shock, Its weird that someone tells you your good at somthing you've always wanted to do. I stil dont know how to respond to that.
Rachael asked me to move to LA with her and Andrew next year, she decided that she wants to make somthing of herself and obviously cant do it here, I dont know what to do, My instinct tells me to go. But Now with a car payment insurence and whatever elseI'm just worried, plus theres erics offer to move to georgia, but .... I think I knew Georgia didnt have what I wanted, LA does in a neat little package.
Who knows maybe all of us will move there start our own company and make it work, Bah but thats in the future and I need to focus on surviving now.
Maybe everything will change in a year, hell maybe eric will be married in a year (weird) All my freinds are growing up. Maybe its time I follwed suit.
ME: Matt do you know any place I can get a good car?, Mine just broke like for good.
Matt: what, you need a car, why dont you just take that red one outside?
Me: what?
Matt: Yeah Evan took it when his car broke down.
This is when I find out i have become so non trustant that I cant even accept someones generosity. I instantly wonder what he wants in return and why hes being so nice, I even go into wondering if hes going to fire me.
this is what really gets me though, were driving back from the site where I'm going to be filming this weekend and I asked him about a freinds wedding that I said I would film before I got my job there Rachaels wedding to be percise. He replys,
Matt: Rick you have a talent for this, why wouldnt you want to be getting paid for it? Sure you have a few issues but you really have an eye for this, and your shooting better than some of the people we've had with us for years. What he learns in months you learn in days.
I was in shock, Its weird that someone tells you your good at somthing you've always wanted to do. I stil dont know how to respond to that.
Rachael asked me to move to LA with her and Andrew next year, she decided that she wants to make somthing of herself and obviously cant do it here, I dont know what to do, My instinct tells me to go. But Now with a car payment insurence and whatever elseI'm just worried, plus theres erics offer to move to georgia, but .... I think I knew Georgia didnt have what I wanted, LA does in a neat little package.
Who knows maybe all of us will move there start our own company and make it work, Bah but thats in the future and I need to focus on surviving now.
Maybe everything will change in a year, hell maybe eric will be married in a year (weird) All my freinds are growing up. Maybe its time I follwed suit.