A Warlock's Christmas Tale Part 2 (Amber lends a hand..)
Well the tree is finally decorated, even if it does have a bit of a “Picasso” look to it. Perhaps it wasn’t such a good idea to let teddy express his artistic talents on it, but then it spared something else from his attentions that may actually be of value. I just hope that Santa can still recognize it as a tree and not some avant-garde piece of junk and leave my customary lump of coal.
As this year I’m spending some quality time with the family or “scrounging food of the folks” as I prefer to call it, I have thus spared myself the hassle of food shopping and the nightmare of two weeks of turkey leftovers. Anyway this meant that I could “evenly” spend this week end between shopping for presents for my relatives and eyeing up a new PC for me - ready to plunge myself back into the sea of academia next year.
My brother was easy to take care of - some photo editing software nonsence, flash card and a natty camera bag that matches my eyes…who would have thought that you could get them in bloodshot. My brother is the one out of the two of us who has all the artistic and musical ability. Don’t you just hate siblings!!
Dad wanted his usually bottle of local anesthetic and a few other odds and sods but my mum is always the worst to buy for. In amoungst her requested presents was a request for perfume. What brand..oh surprise me. Oh hum, I thought.
So I trudge down to the House of Fraser, this is the department store where I get my suits, shirts and ties for work in addition to the odd bit of Versace that I have. Unfortunately its one of those stores that as soon as you set foot in the place and idly gaze at something with a vacant expression on your face an assistant suddenly appears from nowhere asking "Can I help you?". I often think that they must be related to the shopkeeper in Mr. Ben. The pain in the eyes of the charming young brunette lady in her mid twenties was almost tangible, as I said, "No, I’m just looking. Thanks". Then I face with perfume..lots and lots of perfume. So many in fact that every woman in the city could have their own fragrance.
Faced with far too much choice I decided to narrow the field to some brand that I’d heard of and I knew that my mum like the Chanel No.5 that my dad had brought her a few years back. I could have gone for a bottle of that but I thought that it might look like I hadn’t put much thought into it. There was a chanel No. 9, at that point I was wondering what happened to No.s 1 to 4 and 6 to 8 when I realized that I’d been spending far to long deciding and if I wasn’t careful I’d be asked if I needed help again. I got it down to a choice between CoCo and Chance. CoCo was the name of a clown and some people are afraid of them - can’t think why. Chance is the name of that Amber Benson film…Ahhhh (third "h" is, of course, silent) result. I’ll take a chance on Chance. Thank you Ms. Benson.
Well, if you have any sense you’d have skipped the boring bit above and just scrolled to this…
Mr. Warlock's Christmas(ish) jokes…..
How long does it take to burn a candle (extra flamey of course) down?
About a wick.
I don’t know if this has bugged you or not but at last I can reveal a Christmas mystery…..
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves were sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were gone, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered them everywhere. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of Jack Daniels. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little tiny pieces all over the he kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa swore and cussed all the way to the door. He opened it and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"
And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree. So now ya know.
I've seen people post these things as a ploy when they can't think of anything else to post. Did this really surprise anyone....
:: how jedi are you? ::
Not too sure about the last line...Teddy have you been talking again. "Mandy"? I see myself more as a "Rebecca".
As this year I’m spending some quality time with the family or “scrounging food of the folks” as I prefer to call it, I have thus spared myself the hassle of food shopping and the nightmare of two weeks of turkey leftovers. Anyway this meant that I could “evenly” spend this week end between shopping for presents for my relatives and eyeing up a new PC for me - ready to plunge myself back into the sea of academia next year.
My brother was easy to take care of - some photo editing software nonsence, flash card and a natty camera bag that matches my eyes…who would have thought that you could get them in bloodshot. My brother is the one out of the two of us who has all the artistic and musical ability. Don’t you just hate siblings!!
Dad wanted his usually bottle of local anesthetic and a few other odds and sods but my mum is always the worst to buy for. In amoungst her requested presents was a request for perfume. What brand..oh surprise me. Oh hum, I thought.
So I trudge down to the House of Fraser, this is the department store where I get my suits, shirts and ties for work in addition to the odd bit of Versace that I have. Unfortunately its one of those stores that as soon as you set foot in the place and idly gaze at something with a vacant expression on your face an assistant suddenly appears from nowhere asking "Can I help you?". I often think that they must be related to the shopkeeper in Mr. Ben. The pain in the eyes of the charming young brunette lady in her mid twenties was almost tangible, as I said, "No, I’m just looking. Thanks". Then I face with perfume..lots and lots of perfume. So many in fact that every woman in the city could have their own fragrance.
Faced with far too much choice I decided to narrow the field to some brand that I’d heard of and I knew that my mum like the Chanel No.5 that my dad had brought her a few years back. I could have gone for a bottle of that but I thought that it might look like I hadn’t put much thought into it. There was a chanel No. 9, at that point I was wondering what happened to No.s 1 to 4 and 6 to 8 when I realized that I’d been spending far to long deciding and if I wasn’t careful I’d be asked if I needed help again. I got it down to a choice between CoCo and Chance. CoCo was the name of a clown and some people are afraid of them - can’t think why. Chance is the name of that Amber Benson film…Ahhhh (third "h" is, of course, silent) result. I’ll take a chance on Chance. Thank you Ms. Benson.
Well, if you have any sense you’d have skipped the boring bit above and just scrolled to this…
Mr. Warlock's Christmas(ish) jokes…..
How long does it take to burn a candle (extra flamey of course) down?
About a wick.
I don’t know if this has bugged you or not but at last I can reveal a Christmas mystery…..
Not long ago and far away, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip...but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves were sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mum was coming to visit. This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were gone, heaven knows where. More Stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered them everywhere. So, frustrated, Santa went into the house for a cup of coffee and a shot of Jack Daniels. When he went to the cupboard, he found the elves had hidden the liquor and there was nothing to drink. In his frustration, he dropped the coffee pot and it broke into hundreds of little tiny pieces all over the he kitchen floor.
He went to get the broom and found that mice had eaten the straw it was made from.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa swore and cussed all the way to the door. He opened it and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said: "Where would you like to put this tree Santa?"
And that my friends, is how the little angel came to be on top of the Christmas tree. So now ya know.
I've seen people post these things as a ploy when they can't think of anything else to post. Did this really surprise anyone....
:: how jedi are you? ::
Not too sure about the last line...Teddy have you been talking again. "Mandy"? I see myself more as a "Rebecca".