Daer Diary
Today I went holiday shopping with Martyr. I wanted to pick up a few more things for everyone. Then we ended up going to a lot of stores just looking for fun stuff to buy for the holidays.
I have no idea what else to get Angel. I did manage to find her a video camcorder. She has been wanting one since her last one broke. I got that for her, but I want to get her something else fun. I just don't know what to get her. She is a very fussy person.
I did get a few more items for Martyr and Demon though.
I am a bit sad though. Martyr told me that we would have to have the holidays with her family. I tried and tried again and again to be nice and friendly with these people, to talk to them, to even buy them things when being just nice and pleasant didn't work. Year after year they say; "We are only doing the gift exchange by numbers" and year after year they give each other piles of presents, except for of course me. Even Demon and Angel get a few extra things. I am happy for them they aren't ostracized like I am, but it still makes me feel so very alone in the crowd.
I also tried three years in a row getting them all presents. Still, I get only my one lonely gift exchange gift. It would be bad if it was ever anything good, but it's not. See, we have this thing where if someone gets a number after yours they can chose to open a new still wrapped present or take someone a present someone opened. Any time I open anything good, someone takes it. The one time I thought I would be bold and take a present, someone traded numbers with someone else, just to take the present from me. I never tried to ever be bold like that again.
A couple times we have karaoke. Whenever its my turn the kids are handed instruments and allowed to scream and shout. I have a good voice. Once, I slipped onto the machine and sang a song and they were like "Oh, that's great! Who is that?" and then they saw it was me and literally said in very disappointed voices; "Oh, it's you." So, I really don't like these people. Yet, I have to have holiday with them.
We have this family chicken it's the BAD-PRESENT when people get it. Everyone laughs and makes fun of you and they take your picture for the family. I got the chicken last year. I was excited I got the chicken. Honestly, it was the best present that I ever got. One uncle laughed and said "Oh, you wanted the chicken, that's funny." He teased me a little and that was kind of funny. Then my cousins with their cameras said who got the chicken, when we were packing up to go home. I said I got the chicken. I guess I expected to get a picture like everyone else has every year before. Instead everyone with cameras made busy and they 'forgot' to take the chicken picture last year.
I am not unattractive. I am really not. I have a mirror. I am not that much of a freak. I don't think that I am. I always feel like an awkward freak of nature around them. I really wish I didn't have to see them this year at all.