(no subject)
long time no update but i'm quite sure no one minded lol =P
anyway i had work last night for five hours..and in that five hours we worked without a boss so we could pretty much say w/e we wanted..so the girls decided to talk about their sex lives and one of them's like...oh so and so going's out with this person but she's so prude! don't you hate prude people? and then she says to me are you prude and i'm like umm noo..so she then proceeds to ask me all these questions about what i have done how far i've been if i had the chance would i do this, etc....and like it's not that i minded talking about it at all or anything b/c i'll seriously talk about anything with you but like first of all, the fact that she thought i could have had sex completely floored me b/c i can't imagine a guy wanting to touch me..i've always been the girl guys think is a bitch, not the "shes hot i wanna fuck her" girl..and i know this and that it will always be the same story and you upset me so much when you fill my head with freaking lies b/c it makes every realization all the more real again..and secondly i was also upset when they had said everything they did and like it made me realize how behind i am compared to them..like i don't know i don't even want a freaking boyfriend...i have so many issues in my head that consume my thoughts 24/7 that i cannot deal with that right now..
i am sure this all sounds quite ridiculous to you...and even more insane that i'm typing about it but i feel like getting it off my chest and b/c i am so freaking cool, i do that to a livejournal ;(
something else is also really bothering me but unfortunately i don't have free rein to talk about that in here...but two of my girls know *ahemn maria and danni* =)...thanks for listening to me...and i don't know what to do about it anymore...i was reduced to complete tears the other night uhh..
and a certain someone better dare not respond to this unless he has something critical to say...b/c i think i will literally explode..
thanks for reading guys <3
anyway i had work last night for five hours..and in that five hours we worked without a boss so we could pretty much say w/e we wanted..so the girls decided to talk about their sex lives and one of them's like...oh so and so going's out with this person but she's so prude! don't you hate prude people? and then she says to me are you prude and i'm like umm noo..so she then proceeds to ask me all these questions about what i have done how far i've been if i had the chance would i do this, etc....and like it's not that i minded talking about it at all or anything b/c i'll seriously talk about anything with you but like first of all, the fact that she thought i could have had sex completely floored me b/c i can't imagine a guy wanting to touch me..i've always been the girl guys think is a bitch, not the "shes hot i wanna fuck her" girl..and i know this and that it will always be the same story and you upset me so much when you fill my head with freaking lies b/c it makes every realization all the more real again..and secondly i was also upset when they had said everything they did and like it made me realize how behind i am compared to them..like i don't know i don't even want a freaking boyfriend...i have so many issues in my head that consume my thoughts 24/7 that i cannot deal with that right now..
i am sure this all sounds quite ridiculous to you...and even more insane that i'm typing about it but i feel like getting it off my chest and b/c i am so freaking cool, i do that to a livejournal ;(
something else is also really bothering me but unfortunately i don't have free rein to talk about that in here...but two of my girls know *ahemn maria and danni* =)...thanks for listening to me...and i don't know what to do about it anymore...i was reduced to complete tears the other night uhh..
and a certain someone better dare not respond to this unless he has something critical to say...b/c i think i will literally explode..
thanks for reading guys <3