And we are born in the electrical storm
I had looked all over for cupcakes and couldn't find one anywhere. What the hell was this a hospital or something? All of the food was either gross or healthy which a lot of times can mean the same thing. After I couldn't find a cupcake in any of the machines anywhere I decided to take a long walk around the whole hospital instead of just sticking to our one building and wing. Besides, Seth had been flipping out when I'd left and I really had a much harder time dealing with than Molly and Ryan did. I just decided to let the two of them have some time. After all, I had the feeling they could use it.
It took me a walk all the way across the hospital campus before I found a chocolate cupcake. They came in a package of two and since I'd only promised one I took the privilege of liberating one of them. To my stomach. I was licking frosting off of my thumb and thinking about this whole thing. It was so weird to wake up one day and realize you actually have a life. With a home and a sister and a best friend and a boyfriend. Even though when I really stopped to think about it I almost thought it didn't sound real. Like I was missing out on some key fact. Something I'd missed when I was by myself but I couldn't figure out what it was.
Sitting down on a bench out on the lawn near one of the doors I stared out into the darkness and replayed the battle in my mind. Why was it last time was so bittersweet and this one was just so clear. Sweet. Maybe that's what happens when you don't let yourself get so invested. And somehow even when everything began to change that was the hardest thing to change of all. Maybe I just needed a little more practice but I was just happy that me and Molly and Ryan had managed to live through the fight. I would deal with the rest as it came. If it came.
Maybe some part of me wished I was back home at the dorms, in my pajamas, eating popcorn and watching some stupid Will Ferrel movie with Molly and Helena. But really? I wouldn't have traded tonight for the world. Because for the first time, it really felt like winning was possible.
I heard footsteps and when I turned to look I saw Ryan standing behind me. "Hey." I said to him as I scooted over so he could sit down next to me. "I started to think you'd disappeared."
It took me a walk all the way across the hospital campus before I found a chocolate cupcake. They came in a package of two and since I'd only promised one I took the privilege of liberating one of them. To my stomach. I was licking frosting off of my thumb and thinking about this whole thing. It was so weird to wake up one day and realize you actually have a life. With a home and a sister and a best friend and a boyfriend. Even though when I really stopped to think about it I almost thought it didn't sound real. Like I was missing out on some key fact. Something I'd missed when I was by myself but I couldn't figure out what it was.
Sitting down on a bench out on the lawn near one of the doors I stared out into the darkness and replayed the battle in my mind. Why was it last time was so bittersweet and this one was just so clear. Sweet. Maybe that's what happens when you don't let yourself get so invested. And somehow even when everything began to change that was the hardest thing to change of all. Maybe I just needed a little more practice but I was just happy that me and Molly and Ryan had managed to live through the fight. I would deal with the rest as it came. If it came.
Maybe some part of me wished I was back home at the dorms, in my pajamas, eating popcorn and watching some stupid Will Ferrel movie with Molly and Helena. But really? I wouldn't have traded tonight for the world. Because for the first time, it really felt like winning was possible.
I heard footsteps and when I turned to look I saw Ryan standing behind me. "Hey." I said to him as I scooted over so he could sit down next to me. "I started to think you'd disappeared."