Renee / Ry - Tarot reading - PG
It wasn't long after their LJ conversation that Ry had shown up at Renee's house, ready for the Tarot reading. It seemed a little strange to be doing this, as Renee led him up to her room. The altar had been prepared with candles and incense, Aleister Crowley's Thoth deck sitting ready on its silk in the centre.
Ry was not usually one to indulge in the metaphysical, but it seemed that recent events were eroding his skepticism... Avery's strange manifestation in particular. Most had put it down to an odd hallucination brought on by alcohol and drugs, but she had other suspicions. After what she had already seen with Deirdre, and even Marcel, she wasn't willing to dismiss anything quite so readily.
She sat down on one side of the altar, motioning Ry to sit on the other. She picked up the deck in her left hand, and passed it to Ry. "Shuffle and cut the deck three times with your left hand. You can rotate the deck when you cut it if you wish. The cards have different meanings when inverted, you see. If you have a particular question that you wish to ask, you should focus on that whilst you shuffle."
Ry nodded. He understood the theory of it, even though he had never himself been given a reading on the tarot. Silently she did as she bade him. It was only when he put the cards aside towards her that he met her eye and said, "Do you believe what we saw that night?"
"Yes," she replied simply. "I have seen far too many... strange things to deny it."
The significator was already separated from the rest of the deck. The Prince of Wands lay alone beside it, the card that summed up Ry's spiritual position best. Passionate, strong, creative, yet not the highest of that force yet.
"Did you have a particular question? If you do, it is better for the reading if you tell me. You do not have to, though, if it is personal. My responses will have to be more general if I do not know the question."
"Is 'what's going to happen?' a broad enough question to receive less than the most general of responces?" Ry asked ironically. "I don't know. I'm feeling... lost, of late. Direction would be good. And since," he waved his arm about, "I don't know what the fuck is the deal with all this spiritual occult stuff, it might be an idea to question about that too."
He glanced suspiciously down at the Thoth deck again.
"A question regarding your path, then," Renee nodded. "I can do that."
She noticed Ry eyeing her deck suspiciously. "There is nothing to be afraid of," she soothed. "I consult these cards regularly. It is safe."
Gently, she lay a hand on his. "Everybody needs guidance Ry. But it is the wise who ask for it."
They started.
Ry took a deep breath suddenly and started. "Quit it!" he told her in no uncertain terms. When she was about to ask what, he said, "Whatever it is you're doing. It's messing with my body temperature. Whatever it is, I don't like it."
There was something behind his eyes that said why.
"The warmth is natural. It's energy, Ry, spirtual energy. When we perform a magickal operation, we become the centre of the universe. It is like being in a nuclear reactor. You will become accustomed to it in a few moments."
She touched his hand briefly, attempting to comfort him. It wouldn't do to scare him off before she had drawn the first card.
He didn't like it. Already, when nothing had happened, he didn't like it. This wasn't anything that he could see. You weren't supposed to believe in things you couldn't see.
"Alright, whatever, let's just get this over with," Ry said, fully aware that he had asked this all to happen himself.
Renee nodded and drew the first card, placing it on top of the significator.
"The Princess of Cups, inverted. The first card pertains to your current influences and situation. In this case, a female figure, strongly connected with emotions and matters of the heart."
"Princess. How strange that that would come up after your comment about all the 'princesses' in my life," Ry said skeptically.
"Yes. And who did you choose in the end?" Renee replied, a small smile playing upon her lips. "However, the card is inverted, meaning that her lesser qualities are apparent. She is selfish, indolent, dependent on others, despite the fact that she is sweet, nourishing and helpful to those around her. I cannot say that I am surprised. Remember what we said about deviance? I have not been entirely at my best, of late."
That was an understatement. With all the dark magick she had been working, she wouldn't have been surprised if the deck had likened her to a truly dark card such as the Moon.
Ry smirked, still not altogether convinced. "Alright then. What of the next card? And what does this mean for me?"
Renee turned her attention to the second card, laying it across the one that represented herself.
"The four of Swords, also known as Truce," she explained. "But it is inverted, lending it a darker shade of meaning. The card that crosses you is what stands in opposition. In this case, it likely reflects mental chaos, or an untimely retreat from struggle when you should still fight. The card is telling you that you have to fight hard for what is important to you, despite the fact that sitting back and letting life wash over you might seem easier."
She paused, looking into Ry's eyes, inviting him to ask questions if need be.
Ry couldn't help but laugh at this reading so far. Of course these things were coming out. Renee knew this much about him. But regardless, he had to know how it ended now, and so he waved her along.
"Next," was all he said.
Renee raised her eyebrow at Ry's laughter, but said nothing as she turned over the next card and placed it above the others.
"This card represents the highest aspiration you can hope to achieve. In this case, the card is the nine of cups, or Happiness, inverted. Hmm." She paused for a moment. Inverted Happiness as the highest ideal Ry could achieve?
"This could simply mean that your idea of happiness is different from others. I am not the only one of us who is deviant, after all. One does not have to be sexually deviant to be abnormal," she smirked.
"It could also mean that no matter what happens, your happiness will be incomplete," she continued with more seriousness. "Instability and imperfection are the strongest aspects of this card. Even in the best case scenario, there will be elements of discontent in your life, at least for the foreseeable future."
"Well... I am a grumpy old bastard. Perhaps all it means is that happiness for me is misery for everyone else." Ry winked cheekily. "You know how I love to brood. It could just be referring to that.
"Also," he added, "I can be just as sexually deviant as you! I just happen not to get in so much trouble from it." Ry smiled a little.
"Great, now you're just trying to see bad things happening for me," he murmured. "Get on with it then, what's the next card?"
"I do not try to see anything," Renee replied. "I simply tell you what the cards mean."
She turned over the next card, placing it beneath the others. "The Wheel of Fortune. This card represents that which you have to work with to achieve your goal."
She pondered the card for the moment. "Fortune refers to the ups and downs of life in its most literal form... the immediate meaning seems to be that you will use whatever life gives you to add to your work. Even if it is something terrible... what begins as a bad experience, you will turn into something good by virtue of your work. The other meaning is a change of state, particularly in, but not limited to, the material world. It could be referring to a discovery of vision and lucidity through altered states."
Renee met the boy's eyes meaningfully. Altered states were something they both knew a fair bit about.
"The Wheel of Fortune..." Ry pondered; it sounded familiar. "You've mentioned that card before to me in writing. TARO ROTA..."
There was that term again. 'Altered states'. He met Renee's eyes as she looked up at him meaningfully. He knew, and she knew that he knew. Question was, what were they going to do with this knowledge? Especially now that it had come up in these cards. Surely that meant that even if Renee was staging them, she wanted to see this particular place pursued.
"So that's my future then?" he asked unsure.
"Well, it plays a large part in your future. You should consider it a good thing, though. This is your tool, your ally."
Renee turned her attention back to the deck. "The next card represents your past influences."
She turned over the next card, placing it to the left of the two crossed cards. "The Queen of Cups, inverted. If I am the Princess, then I would imagine that this card represents your mother. From what I understand, it makes sense that she would be inverted. She is... not all that she once was," Renee said diplomatically.
"The inversion suggests stagnation and passivity. The Queen of Cups, when she is ill-dignified, barely has any identity of her own at all. This seems to suggest that while she was once a strong influence, as all mothers are, she is no longer relevant to your life. You can disregard her without disadvantage, if you so desire."
Now this was interesting, given Ry's almost constant denial of the mother figure in his work. It seemed like the bulk of his severance with his mother was already taken care of.
Ry didn't care for diplomacy. "You got that right," he said on a scoff. "Not all she once was, if ever she even was something!" he emphasised. He would have made the comment of her irrelevance himself, had not Renee beaten him to it.
"No identity of her own. That about sums it up," he said, sitting back fairly disrespectfully. "Already done," he said of the disregarding.
He could tell that the subject was of some interest to Renee, but not so to him, and this was supposed to be his reading after all. "Oh, come on, Renee. Get to the juicy stuff already. You haven't told me anything I don't already know about myself yet."
Renee raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps the card representing your future will bring you more enlightenment, then."
She turned it over, placing it on the opposite side to the Queen of Cups. "The Princess of Disks, inverted," she told him. "Likely another important figure in your life. Given that I am the Princess of Cups, it might even be someone my age... another of your 'princesses'. She is strong, beautiful, brooding, often a mass of contradictions. Most importantly, though, she is earthy, very rooted in the material world. Likely she is stubborn, and likes to earn that which she gains through her own hard work."
If this were to be another of Ry's 'princesses', she had a fair idea of who it would be. But she wanted Ry to come to the realisation himself.
"Slink."
Ry blinked, realising he had unwittingly said the word aloud without thinking. He took it in stride as though that was what he had meant to muse all along. "I mean, well, it's hardly going to be Jude now, is it?" he asked with a deliberately ironic eyebrow raised.
Strong, beautiful, brooding. Stubborn; that was his Slink to the utmost. Of course, what did everyone say of these readings? People saw exactly what they wanted to see and nothing more.
"Next."
"There's more to this," Renee said, indicating the card that represented Slink. "She's ill-dignified. In this instance, it probably means that there is hardship in her future. Hardship that, for better or for worse, you will be involved in. It must be something important... something that you will need to be prepared for. You can help her, if you so choose. I believe you have the ability to do that."
Ry sighed and looked bored. There was no way she could know that. And if she somehow figured it out on her own... he wasn't sure he was going to be able to convince Slink that the 'cards told her' when he hardly believed in that sort of stuff himself.
Whatever this was, diversion was always the best tactic.
"It might not even be Slink. You said these things were ambiguous, didn't you? Get on with it." His words propelled them forward and Renee reached for the next card while Ry's eyes never left the card.
"Art," Renee named the next card that came up. She placed it to the right of the current spread, close to her. "I knew this card would appear before I began the reading," she chuckled. "It must be important."
"You knew?" Ry asked. "What's it supposed to mean then?"
"I could see this card in my mind every time I thought about the reading. Art is that which is created by humans. In this case, I would assume it means your book. Given that this card represents your general environment, it could suggest that you are going to be consumed by your work. I do not think this is a bad thing though," she mused.
"Balance is one of the most important aspects of this card. I think your work will help you find, or restore, equilibrium to many aspects of your life. Perhaps not even only yours. The card also concerns alchemy and the mixing of opposing elements to form a greater, more cohesive whole. You do this with your book, to be sure, but I think that the card is telling you to consider the book an allegory for your own life... to turn it not only outward, but inward. Your work finds balance in opposition, and so can you. The meaning of this card, I think, extends well beyond the scope of the rest of the reading. The struggle for balance, no matter how many books you write, will be your true Life's Work."
"My book..." he said the words even as his eyes stayed on Slink's card. Dragging them forcibly upward, he said to Renee, "The struggle for balence, you say? Being consumed is hardly balenced," he added with a cynically raised eyebrow.
Renee nodded. "You're quite right. But the book is only short-term. You will complete it, and move on to other things. I expect that you will not write for a while, after you finish this one. Your greater struggle, however, will continue. It might be helpful to find a companion who balances out your personality," she added, glancing significantly at the Princess of Disks. Ry's interest hadn't escaped her notice.
"When you find that person, do not underestimate their importance. Remember, they will become a figure so significant in your life, that their influence can be rivalled with that of a mother."
"Now you are just talking in riddles deliberately." Ry was swiftly growing bored of the reading. "Just run it out straight for me. What does the rest of my future within the reading hold for me? Am I gonna get run over by any buses? Be overwhelmed by this... balence thingy... or by you in Mother capacity?" Ry smirked. Some of this was just too foolish to give credence to.
Renee raised her eyebrows and turned over the next card, placing it above Art. "Very well, then. We only have three cards to go." She paused, taking in the new card.
"The Prince of Cups, here representing your house and those around you. Given that we have a Court card here, I would say there is one male figure in particular who is going to be significant in your near future, somebody operating from a heartspace similar to my own. That being said, he is a dark and volatile figure, crafty, secretive and subtle. He has no conscience in the ordinary sense, no sense of responsibility towards others. He is, above all, ruthless."
She hesitated, and looked into Ry's eyes. "Take the worst elements of what I have been doing, and they are embodied here in a man. I mean no offense, but... does that sound like Jocelin to you?"
A raised eyebrow. "I thought I was not supposed to give you any information that could influence your reading," he said to her. "And no. That does not sound like Jocelin. Actually, it sounds more like your late Marcel, from all that you have told me. Of course, I can't see how that would bear any relevance in my life. It's hardly like he's about to jump back into real life any day now, is it?"
A shadow crossed Renee's face as he said this. A spark of anger could have ignited, but instead, fear ruled in her eyes for a moment. Her cheeks reddened slightly. Ry was alighting upon territory that she didn't want him exploring too closely.
"It could be Marcel," she murmured. "He may be dead, but his influence lives on." She was drumming her fingers self-consciously. "If he is still an influence on your life, it is likely through me. Hence the connection through Cups," she continued, indicating her own Princess of Cups. Prince and Princess. Oh Goddess. Ry was right. But what if...?
She remembered Deirdre's words. He put a bit of himself into all his magic, as an insurance against his murder...
"This all seems to be coming together, then," she said, trying to come back to herself by virtue of her authority. She was still the one interpreting the cards, after all. "Between the Prince and Princess of Cups, Art and your own comment about my mother aspect consuming you... I think it is very important that you continue to work with me in this way, Ry. It doesn't have to be in this occult sense, but... for your own spiritual, or even just philosophical growth, it would probably be good for you if you did."
Renee had to wonder, though, was this a good idea for her? The Prince suggested that whatever work she did with Ry would continue to bring out the worst in her... and what, the best in him? Was that some cruel form of balance in itself?
He had no idea why his random words had set her off like that. Perhaps he had a bit of the good ol' foresight in him as well. A part of him wanted to sit up the straighter and preen at the very thought. Then the more realistic nature in him caught up and he regained some sense.
"You think it's important I continue to work with you in this way?" Ry smirked a little at this. "Could you just be asking for a little more of my time there? I will happily give it. Screw the spiritual, philosophical growth shit. You are one of the few more interesting people around of late."
He did sit up then, and reach out to her worried face. "Hey, don't take it so seriously," he said. "It's only a reading."
She flinched away from Ry's hand, but caught herself and touched his hand with hers before he could withdraw it, slowly drawing it to her face herself. She hadn't meant to do that. Thinking about Marcel just made her... twitchy.
"I know," she said giving his hand a little squeeze and then relinquishing it. "I should still finish for you. There are only two cards left. "The next card represents your hopes and fears."
She turned over a particularly dark and menacing card, placing it above the Prince of Cups. "The seven of disks. Failure. Fears it is, then."
"Oh," Ry said. "Great. Just what I always wanted. Alright, Renee, tell me what I fear."
"Well, the meaning of the card is more or less self-explanatory. It is failure, but of the worst kind. Not only is it the failure of the endeavour in question - likely your novel - but also the degradation and putrefaction of all that it touches. You are afraid that you will cause harm with your work, no matter how good your intentions might be. But as far as the rest of the reading is concerned, your fear seems to be unfounded. You are not going to hurt anyone, Ry. At least not through your work."
She gave him a small smile and reached out to touch his hand. "I know you are trying to do what is best, Ry. I really do."
"Oh. Fucking brilliant." Ry's sarcasm was cutting. Why? It wasn't like he even believed in this stuff. Was this any smarter than her seeming upset at his idea that it could be Marcel that the card was indicating? No.
"I'm not going to hurt anybody. Good." He shrugged away her hand as his eyes drifted briefly to the Princess of Disks. His whole demeanour had suddenly morphed into one big shrug. "What do I care about what is best? I'm just going along in my own life, nothing more, nothing less. Last card now, next."
Renee simply nodded and turned over the final card, placing it above the seven of disks.
"The Ace of disks." A look of discontent crossed her face. The Ace of disks was an enigmatic card at best. She had wanted something a little more cut and dried for the final card, like another Major Arcana. Still, that was the card she had drawn, so that was the card she would read.
"The Ace of disks refers to Earth in its most abstract form. It is the potential for work, stability, solidity, material things. But it is also much more than that."
Divine inspiration was coming to her now, as it was meant to with the final card. Perhaps this was not so bad after all. "The Ace of disks also represents resurrection. In this case, probably a new phase of your life. As it pertains to the rest of the reading, I would say that this novel is going to be very much a turning point for you. You are on the right path, that I am sure of, and it will lead you to a transformation. This has the potential to make you something so much greater than what you are. And if you do reach that potential, it will benefit not only you, but those you care about as well."
Renee neglected to mention that it might well bring harm to her, though. As much as she liked to be completely honest in her readings, Ry didn't need her saying that. And it wasn't certain to come to pass, anyway.
Ry was not usually one to indulge in the metaphysical, but it seemed that recent events were eroding his skepticism... Avery's strange manifestation in particular. Most had put it down to an odd hallucination brought on by alcohol and drugs, but she had other suspicions. After what she had already seen with Deirdre, and even Marcel, she wasn't willing to dismiss anything quite so readily.
She sat down on one side of the altar, motioning Ry to sit on the other. She picked up the deck in her left hand, and passed it to Ry. "Shuffle and cut the deck three times with your left hand. You can rotate the deck when you cut it if you wish. The cards have different meanings when inverted, you see. If you have a particular question that you wish to ask, you should focus on that whilst you shuffle."
Ry nodded. He understood the theory of it, even though he had never himself been given a reading on the tarot. Silently she did as she bade him. It was only when he put the cards aside towards her that he met her eye and said, "Do you believe what we saw that night?"
"Yes," she replied simply. "I have seen far too many... strange things to deny it."
The significator was already separated from the rest of the deck. The Prince of Wands lay alone beside it, the card that summed up Ry's spiritual position best. Passionate, strong, creative, yet not the highest of that force yet.
"Did you have a particular question? If you do, it is better for the reading if you tell me. You do not have to, though, if it is personal. My responses will have to be more general if I do not know the question."
"Is 'what's going to happen?' a broad enough question to receive less than the most general of responces?" Ry asked ironically. "I don't know. I'm feeling... lost, of late. Direction would be good. And since," he waved his arm about, "I don't know what the fuck is the deal with all this spiritual occult stuff, it might be an idea to question about that too."
He glanced suspiciously down at the Thoth deck again.
"A question regarding your path, then," Renee nodded. "I can do that."
She noticed Ry eyeing her deck suspiciously. "There is nothing to be afraid of," she soothed. "I consult these cards regularly. It is safe."
Gently, she lay a hand on his. "Everybody needs guidance Ry. But it is the wise who ask for it."
They started.
Ry took a deep breath suddenly and started. "Quit it!" he told her in no uncertain terms. When she was about to ask what, he said, "Whatever it is you're doing. It's messing with my body temperature. Whatever it is, I don't like it."
There was something behind his eyes that said why.
"The warmth is natural. It's energy, Ry, spirtual energy. When we perform a magickal operation, we become the centre of the universe. It is like being in a nuclear reactor. You will become accustomed to it in a few moments."
She touched his hand briefly, attempting to comfort him. It wouldn't do to scare him off before she had drawn the first card.
He didn't like it. Already, when nothing had happened, he didn't like it. This wasn't anything that he could see. You weren't supposed to believe in things you couldn't see.
"Alright, whatever, let's just get this over with," Ry said, fully aware that he had asked this all to happen himself.
Renee nodded and drew the first card, placing it on top of the significator.
"The Princess of Cups, inverted. The first card pertains to your current influences and situation. In this case, a female figure, strongly connected with emotions and matters of the heart."
"Princess. How strange that that would come up after your comment about all the 'princesses' in my life," Ry said skeptically.
"Yes. And who did you choose in the end?" Renee replied, a small smile playing upon her lips. "However, the card is inverted, meaning that her lesser qualities are apparent. She is selfish, indolent, dependent on others, despite the fact that she is sweet, nourishing and helpful to those around her. I cannot say that I am surprised. Remember what we said about deviance? I have not been entirely at my best, of late."
That was an understatement. With all the dark magick she had been working, she wouldn't have been surprised if the deck had likened her to a truly dark card such as the Moon.
Ry smirked, still not altogether convinced. "Alright then. What of the next card? And what does this mean for me?"
Renee turned her attention to the second card, laying it across the one that represented herself.
"The four of Swords, also known as Truce," she explained. "But it is inverted, lending it a darker shade of meaning. The card that crosses you is what stands in opposition. In this case, it likely reflects mental chaos, or an untimely retreat from struggle when you should still fight. The card is telling you that you have to fight hard for what is important to you, despite the fact that sitting back and letting life wash over you might seem easier."
She paused, looking into Ry's eyes, inviting him to ask questions if need be.
Ry couldn't help but laugh at this reading so far. Of course these things were coming out. Renee knew this much about him. But regardless, he had to know how it ended now, and so he waved her along.
"Next," was all he said.
Renee raised her eyebrow at Ry's laughter, but said nothing as she turned over the next card and placed it above the others.
"This card represents the highest aspiration you can hope to achieve. In this case, the card is the nine of cups, or Happiness, inverted. Hmm." She paused for a moment. Inverted Happiness as the highest ideal Ry could achieve?
"This could simply mean that your idea of happiness is different from others. I am not the only one of us who is deviant, after all. One does not have to be sexually deviant to be abnormal," she smirked.
"It could also mean that no matter what happens, your happiness will be incomplete," she continued with more seriousness. "Instability and imperfection are the strongest aspects of this card. Even in the best case scenario, there will be elements of discontent in your life, at least for the foreseeable future."
"Well... I am a grumpy old bastard. Perhaps all it means is that happiness for me is misery for everyone else." Ry winked cheekily. "You know how I love to brood. It could just be referring to that.
"Also," he added, "I can be just as sexually deviant as you! I just happen not to get in so much trouble from it." Ry smiled a little.
"Great, now you're just trying to see bad things happening for me," he murmured. "Get on with it then, what's the next card?"
"I do not try to see anything," Renee replied. "I simply tell you what the cards mean."
She turned over the next card, placing it beneath the others. "The Wheel of Fortune. This card represents that which you have to work with to achieve your goal."
She pondered the card for the moment. "Fortune refers to the ups and downs of life in its most literal form... the immediate meaning seems to be that you will use whatever life gives you to add to your work. Even if it is something terrible... what begins as a bad experience, you will turn into something good by virtue of your work. The other meaning is a change of state, particularly in, but not limited to, the material world. It could be referring to a discovery of vision and lucidity through altered states."
Renee met the boy's eyes meaningfully. Altered states were something they both knew a fair bit about.
"The Wheel of Fortune..." Ry pondered; it sounded familiar. "You've mentioned that card before to me in writing. TARO ROTA..."
There was that term again. 'Altered states'. He met Renee's eyes as she looked up at him meaningfully. He knew, and she knew that he knew. Question was, what were they going to do with this knowledge? Especially now that it had come up in these cards. Surely that meant that even if Renee was staging them, she wanted to see this particular place pursued.
"So that's my future then?" he asked unsure.
"Well, it plays a large part in your future. You should consider it a good thing, though. This is your tool, your ally."
Renee turned her attention back to the deck. "The next card represents your past influences."
She turned over the next card, placing it to the left of the two crossed cards. "The Queen of Cups, inverted. If I am the Princess, then I would imagine that this card represents your mother. From what I understand, it makes sense that she would be inverted. She is... not all that she once was," Renee said diplomatically.
"The inversion suggests stagnation and passivity. The Queen of Cups, when she is ill-dignified, barely has any identity of her own at all. This seems to suggest that while she was once a strong influence, as all mothers are, she is no longer relevant to your life. You can disregard her without disadvantage, if you so desire."
Now this was interesting, given Ry's almost constant denial of the mother figure in his work. It seemed like the bulk of his severance with his mother was already taken care of.
Ry didn't care for diplomacy. "You got that right," he said on a scoff. "Not all she once was, if ever she even was something!" he emphasised. He would have made the comment of her irrelevance himself, had not Renee beaten him to it.
"No identity of her own. That about sums it up," he said, sitting back fairly disrespectfully. "Already done," he said of the disregarding.
He could tell that the subject was of some interest to Renee, but not so to him, and this was supposed to be his reading after all. "Oh, come on, Renee. Get to the juicy stuff already. You haven't told me anything I don't already know about myself yet."
Renee raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps the card representing your future will bring you more enlightenment, then."
She turned it over, placing it on the opposite side to the Queen of Cups. "The Princess of Disks, inverted," she told him. "Likely another important figure in your life. Given that I am the Princess of Cups, it might even be someone my age... another of your 'princesses'. She is strong, beautiful, brooding, often a mass of contradictions. Most importantly, though, she is earthy, very rooted in the material world. Likely she is stubborn, and likes to earn that which she gains through her own hard work."
If this were to be another of Ry's 'princesses', she had a fair idea of who it would be. But she wanted Ry to come to the realisation himself.
"Slink."
Ry blinked, realising he had unwittingly said the word aloud without thinking. He took it in stride as though that was what he had meant to muse all along. "I mean, well, it's hardly going to be Jude now, is it?" he asked with a deliberately ironic eyebrow raised.
Strong, beautiful, brooding. Stubborn; that was his Slink to the utmost. Of course, what did everyone say of these readings? People saw exactly what they wanted to see and nothing more.
"Next."
"There's more to this," Renee said, indicating the card that represented Slink. "She's ill-dignified. In this instance, it probably means that there is hardship in her future. Hardship that, for better or for worse, you will be involved in. It must be something important... something that you will need to be prepared for. You can help her, if you so choose. I believe you have the ability to do that."
Ry sighed and looked bored. There was no way she could know that. And if she somehow figured it out on her own... he wasn't sure he was going to be able to convince Slink that the 'cards told her' when he hardly believed in that sort of stuff himself.
Whatever this was, diversion was always the best tactic.
"It might not even be Slink. You said these things were ambiguous, didn't you? Get on with it." His words propelled them forward and Renee reached for the next card while Ry's eyes never left the card.
"Art," Renee named the next card that came up. She placed it to the right of the current spread, close to her. "I knew this card would appear before I began the reading," she chuckled. "It must be important."
"You knew?" Ry asked. "What's it supposed to mean then?"
"I could see this card in my mind every time I thought about the reading. Art is that which is created by humans. In this case, I would assume it means your book. Given that this card represents your general environment, it could suggest that you are going to be consumed by your work. I do not think this is a bad thing though," she mused.
"Balance is one of the most important aspects of this card. I think your work will help you find, or restore, equilibrium to many aspects of your life. Perhaps not even only yours. The card also concerns alchemy and the mixing of opposing elements to form a greater, more cohesive whole. You do this with your book, to be sure, but I think that the card is telling you to consider the book an allegory for your own life... to turn it not only outward, but inward. Your work finds balance in opposition, and so can you. The meaning of this card, I think, extends well beyond the scope of the rest of the reading. The struggle for balance, no matter how many books you write, will be your true Life's Work."
"My book..." he said the words even as his eyes stayed on Slink's card. Dragging them forcibly upward, he said to Renee, "The struggle for balence, you say? Being consumed is hardly balenced," he added with a cynically raised eyebrow.
Renee nodded. "You're quite right. But the book is only short-term. You will complete it, and move on to other things. I expect that you will not write for a while, after you finish this one. Your greater struggle, however, will continue. It might be helpful to find a companion who balances out your personality," she added, glancing significantly at the Princess of Disks. Ry's interest hadn't escaped her notice.
"When you find that person, do not underestimate their importance. Remember, they will become a figure so significant in your life, that their influence can be rivalled with that of a mother."
"Now you are just talking in riddles deliberately." Ry was swiftly growing bored of the reading. "Just run it out straight for me. What does the rest of my future within the reading hold for me? Am I gonna get run over by any buses? Be overwhelmed by this... balence thingy... or by you in Mother capacity?" Ry smirked. Some of this was just too foolish to give credence to.
Renee raised her eyebrows and turned over the next card, placing it above Art. "Very well, then. We only have three cards to go." She paused, taking in the new card.
"The Prince of Cups, here representing your house and those around you. Given that we have a Court card here, I would say there is one male figure in particular who is going to be significant in your near future, somebody operating from a heartspace similar to my own. That being said, he is a dark and volatile figure, crafty, secretive and subtle. He has no conscience in the ordinary sense, no sense of responsibility towards others. He is, above all, ruthless."
She hesitated, and looked into Ry's eyes. "Take the worst elements of what I have been doing, and they are embodied here in a man. I mean no offense, but... does that sound like Jocelin to you?"
A raised eyebrow. "I thought I was not supposed to give you any information that could influence your reading," he said to her. "And no. That does not sound like Jocelin. Actually, it sounds more like your late Marcel, from all that you have told me. Of course, I can't see how that would bear any relevance in my life. It's hardly like he's about to jump back into real life any day now, is it?"
A shadow crossed Renee's face as he said this. A spark of anger could have ignited, but instead, fear ruled in her eyes for a moment. Her cheeks reddened slightly. Ry was alighting upon territory that she didn't want him exploring too closely.
"It could be Marcel," she murmured. "He may be dead, but his influence lives on." She was drumming her fingers self-consciously. "If he is still an influence on your life, it is likely through me. Hence the connection through Cups," she continued, indicating her own Princess of Cups. Prince and Princess. Oh Goddess. Ry was right. But what if...?
She remembered Deirdre's words. He put a bit of himself into all his magic, as an insurance against his murder...
"This all seems to be coming together, then," she said, trying to come back to herself by virtue of her authority. She was still the one interpreting the cards, after all. "Between the Prince and Princess of Cups, Art and your own comment about my mother aspect consuming you... I think it is very important that you continue to work with me in this way, Ry. It doesn't have to be in this occult sense, but... for your own spiritual, or even just philosophical growth, it would probably be good for you if you did."
Renee had to wonder, though, was this a good idea for her? The Prince suggested that whatever work she did with Ry would continue to bring out the worst in her... and what, the best in him? Was that some cruel form of balance in itself?
He had no idea why his random words had set her off like that. Perhaps he had a bit of the good ol' foresight in him as well. A part of him wanted to sit up the straighter and preen at the very thought. Then the more realistic nature in him caught up and he regained some sense.
"You think it's important I continue to work with you in this way?" Ry smirked a little at this. "Could you just be asking for a little more of my time there? I will happily give it. Screw the spiritual, philosophical growth shit. You are one of the few more interesting people around of late."
He did sit up then, and reach out to her worried face. "Hey, don't take it so seriously," he said. "It's only a reading."
She flinched away from Ry's hand, but caught herself and touched his hand with hers before he could withdraw it, slowly drawing it to her face herself. She hadn't meant to do that. Thinking about Marcel just made her... twitchy.
"I know," she said giving his hand a little squeeze and then relinquishing it. "I should still finish for you. There are only two cards left. "The next card represents your hopes and fears."
She turned over a particularly dark and menacing card, placing it above the Prince of Cups. "The seven of disks. Failure. Fears it is, then."
"Oh," Ry said. "Great. Just what I always wanted. Alright, Renee, tell me what I fear."
"Well, the meaning of the card is more or less self-explanatory. It is failure, but of the worst kind. Not only is it the failure of the endeavour in question - likely your novel - but also the degradation and putrefaction of all that it touches. You are afraid that you will cause harm with your work, no matter how good your intentions might be. But as far as the rest of the reading is concerned, your fear seems to be unfounded. You are not going to hurt anyone, Ry. At least not through your work."
She gave him a small smile and reached out to touch his hand. "I know you are trying to do what is best, Ry. I really do."
"Oh. Fucking brilliant." Ry's sarcasm was cutting. Why? It wasn't like he even believed in this stuff. Was this any smarter than her seeming upset at his idea that it could be Marcel that the card was indicating? No.
"I'm not going to hurt anybody. Good." He shrugged away her hand as his eyes drifted briefly to the Princess of Disks. His whole demeanour had suddenly morphed into one big shrug. "What do I care about what is best? I'm just going along in my own life, nothing more, nothing less. Last card now, next."
Renee simply nodded and turned over the final card, placing it above the seven of disks.
"The Ace of disks." A look of discontent crossed her face. The Ace of disks was an enigmatic card at best. She had wanted something a little more cut and dried for the final card, like another Major Arcana. Still, that was the card she had drawn, so that was the card she would read.
"The Ace of disks refers to Earth in its most abstract form. It is the potential for work, stability, solidity, material things. But it is also much more than that."
Divine inspiration was coming to her now, as it was meant to with the final card. Perhaps this was not so bad after all. "The Ace of disks also represents resurrection. In this case, probably a new phase of your life. As it pertains to the rest of the reading, I would say that this novel is going to be very much a turning point for you. You are on the right path, that I am sure of, and it will lead you to a transformation. This has the potential to make you something so much greater than what you are. And if you do reach that potential, it will benefit not only you, but those you care about as well."
Renee neglected to mention that it might well bring harm to her, though. As much as she liked to be completely honest in her readings, Ry didn't need her saying that. And it wasn't certain to come to pass, anyway.