Understanding (Serenity, Kat, Lavinia)
Lavinia arrived in Georgia on the band's day off. She had never before been to the United States or even outside of the UK before except for her week-long honeymoon with her first husband which she had spent in Paris. When she had married Bernard, he had decided to take her to the coast for a weekend and then he had to return to work. Lavinia could kick herself now for not realising he was a dropkick, but hindsight was twenty-twenty and after seventy-five years, Lavinia had a lot of it. Today, she intended on passing some on.
Spectre and Flynn had picked her up and after spending time making sure they knew how much she adored them, she went in search of Kat. Spectre had informed her she was probably in Serenity's room, and Lavinia headed there immediately even though Serenity didn't know her. Kat did.
Lavinia knocked and the door was answered by a red-faced Serenity. "Hell..uh...hello?" Serenity's first thought was 'shit, this is the wife of some man I screwed' before remembering she was in the US. She was glad she hadn't voiced that. "Can...I help you?"
"My name is Lavinia Van Assen. Yes, really. I came to see Kat? Spectre told me she would be here."
Serenity liked this lady! She was funny! "I'll go see if she's cool. Kat?" Serenity stepped away from the door but she left it open. "Kat?"
Kat walked into the room from the bathroom, her hair freshly washed and dripping all over. She smiled before noticing Lavinia and when she did, Kat froze without saying a word. Serenity looked at the horrified look on Kat's face and she turned to Lavinia. "I'm sorry... I think it would be best if you left."
"It's going to be okay. Kat's just terrified because she thinks I'm going to kick her arse. Kat, I would never damage such a shapely arse. I just want to talk."
That caught Serenity off-guard and now she wondered if she and Kat had more in common than she thought. And the cool old lady had said 'arse'. "Uhm...I'm not sure what's going on here, but-"
"I'm Thomas' mother," Lavinia explained. She figured Serenity would know why that would cause Kat grief by now.
"Holy shit! Your son beats on her and now you come to fuck with her head?!" Serenity hadn't said a word to Spectre about how pissed off she was that Spectre didn't seem to care that his own husband had hit Kat. She hadn't actually said much to him at all since all this had gone down, beyond what she needed to to get their job done. But now his mother?!
"I am not going to fuck with anyone's head!" Lavinia held her hands up. "I have no intention of fucking anything over here! Kat, please. We need to talk."
Kat bit her lip, but she looked up into Lavinia's eyes. "You're...you're not mad at me?"
"Why would she be mad at you, Kat! Her son hit you, she should be mad at him!" Serenity had had just about enough of this. She had joined this band thinking it was a group of wonderful people and now all she wanted to do was go home. She couldn't, and she did love making the music, but all of this...it hurt. Someone needed to defend Kat. She deserved that, didn't she?
Kat simply shook her head. "I'll...I'll be back soon, Serenity." Kat stepped forward then, ready to follow Lavinia. Serenity didn't say anything, she just looked angry and shocked and Lavinia smiled calmly at her.
"I promise to return her in one piece."
"Whatever." Serenity grabbed a coat and she stalked out of the room past them.
To Lavinia, Kat look more ashamed than Lavinia had ever seen her. Her head was ducked and her voice quiet as she said, "she's really nice. She's just upset."
"I know. She's upset because you lied to her and now she has to feel grief as a result of your actions. Come on, Kat. My room's upstairs."
Kat followed mutely and when they reached Lavinia's room, she sat on the woman's bed and she accepted the water Lavinia gave her. She stayed silent as Lavinia sat in front of her. She knew what was coming. "My son doesn't deserve this, Kat."
What a way to open. The very thing which cut to the heart of the matter. "He hit me, Lavinia!" Kat lifted her eyes once again to meet Lavinia's, and she tried so hard to say more. She couldn't. She simply could not lie to Lavinia. The woman's face was so open, so kind and loving. And Kat couldn't do it.
"I know he did. And I have already spoken to him about that because no matter what you were doing to him, he is still bigger than you and stronger than you and he had no right. I do believe he was not the only one in that room misbehaving."
Kat put her face in her hands and she let out a soft cry of frustration and guilt. "Lavinia..."
Lavinia sighed and she leaned back in the chair. "Honeychild, whatever you are feeling right now...I understand."
That pissed Kat off and she lifted her head, her eyes suddenly full of anger. "No you don't! Your husband left you, he didn't die! And my son was taken from me!" Kat had, of course, conveniently forgotten about Thomas being dead now that it suited her argument. "You couldn't possibly understand!"
Lavinia remained calm, because she knew Kat didn't know about Walter and Killian. Kat was probably sick of people saying they understood when they had no frame of reference. Lavinia did. "Kat, Bernard was my second husband."
"W...what? What does that have to do with SHIT, Lavinia!" Kat was crying lightly, even in her anger, and she wiped tears away, annoyed.
"I was married to a wonderful man when I was still very young. His name was Walter Kinsey. We had been married for three wonderful years and had a two-year-old son named Killian when I arrived home and found them dead." Kat had been shamed and stunned to silence, and her mouth dropped open. "You didn't know that, so I forgive you for your hurtful words. As you can see, I do understand."
"Holy shit."
"Pretty much. I was devastated, Kat. So devastated that when I met Bernard, I did anything he asked me to. I married him because he was there. I won't say he didn't make me happy, because he did at first. And even when he left, I loved him. But it wasn't the same. He didn't love me. He thought he did, but he didn't. And I should have seen that. If I had, I wouldn't have my children and what a loss that would be. But my life would have been far different. Far easier."
Kat groaned and she let herself fall back against Lavinia's bed, empty water glass now resting at her feet. "You didn't fuck up any friendships, did you?"
Lavinia laughed and she kicked her legs up so she was sitting in the chair sideways, legs slung over the armrest. "I fucked up a lot of things, Cutie. I had dropped out of school to marry Walter and when he died, I was left penniless. I went back to live with my parents who were so wonderful. And I ignored them when they told me not to marry Bernard. So you can probably see why my family was less than sympathetic when he did leave me up shit creek fifteen years later. I didn't assault anyone to try to break up their marriage, no... But I did ignore the advice of older, wiser people. And my children suffered for it."
"You too?" Kat asked quietly, still staring up at the ceiling.
"Me too," Lavinia admitted. She wasn't usually one to talk about her own pain. She covered it up under bravado and funny t-shirts. Kat needed to hear. "You're acting out because you don't want to feel. Kat, I know it's shit."
Kat sat up then, supporting herself on angled arms. "It's more than shit."
"I know that too."
"Argh." Kat ran her fingers through her wet hair and she let out a short scream. "Lavinia, god, I am so fucking stupid!"
"No, Kat. You did a bad thing. So did Thomas. Are you going to hold it against him?"
"No!" Kat was very quick to answer. She lifted her fingers to touch the bruise, which was already fading. "No, of course not."
"I think they may need time, Spectre and Thomas. But going through these things...they do tend to make people crazy. Your plan didn't work, and that just proves to the boys that their marriage is sound. I believe they'll forgive you if you make them see you deserve to be forgiven."
"How...how do I do that?"
"Apologise, first of all. And second of all, you need to square things with Serenity. Don't let that poor girl believe that the husband of her band mate hit you for no reason. If she's still angry, that is her right. But she deserves to hear the whole story."
"Yeah..." That wasn't something Kat was looking forward too. "Yeah. Lavinia?"
"Yes, Kat?"
"Can you...stay here for a few days? I just..." And with that, Kat burst into tears and Lavinia moved over to sit beside her on the bed. Kat sobbed her heart out while clinging to Lavinia for dear life.
"I know, Lovey," Lavinia whispered and she kissed Kat's hair. "I know."
Spectre and Flynn had picked her up and after spending time making sure they knew how much she adored them, she went in search of Kat. Spectre had informed her she was probably in Serenity's room, and Lavinia headed there immediately even though Serenity didn't know her. Kat did.
Lavinia knocked and the door was answered by a red-faced Serenity. "Hell..uh...hello?" Serenity's first thought was 'shit, this is the wife of some man I screwed' before remembering she was in the US. She was glad she hadn't voiced that. "Can...I help you?"
"My name is Lavinia Van Assen. Yes, really. I came to see Kat? Spectre told me she would be here."
Serenity liked this lady! She was funny! "I'll go see if she's cool. Kat?" Serenity stepped away from the door but she left it open. "Kat?"
Kat walked into the room from the bathroom, her hair freshly washed and dripping all over. She smiled before noticing Lavinia and when she did, Kat froze without saying a word. Serenity looked at the horrified look on Kat's face and she turned to Lavinia. "I'm sorry... I think it would be best if you left."
"It's going to be okay. Kat's just terrified because she thinks I'm going to kick her arse. Kat, I would never damage such a shapely arse. I just want to talk."
That caught Serenity off-guard and now she wondered if she and Kat had more in common than she thought. And the cool old lady had said 'arse'. "Uhm...I'm not sure what's going on here, but-"
"I'm Thomas' mother," Lavinia explained. She figured Serenity would know why that would cause Kat grief by now.
"Holy shit! Your son beats on her and now you come to fuck with her head?!" Serenity hadn't said a word to Spectre about how pissed off she was that Spectre didn't seem to care that his own husband had hit Kat. She hadn't actually said much to him at all since all this had gone down, beyond what she needed to to get their job done. But now his mother?!
"I am not going to fuck with anyone's head!" Lavinia held her hands up. "I have no intention of fucking anything over here! Kat, please. We need to talk."
Kat bit her lip, but she looked up into Lavinia's eyes. "You're...you're not mad at me?"
"Why would she be mad at you, Kat! Her son hit you, she should be mad at him!" Serenity had had just about enough of this. She had joined this band thinking it was a group of wonderful people and now all she wanted to do was go home. She couldn't, and she did love making the music, but all of this...it hurt. Someone needed to defend Kat. She deserved that, didn't she?
Kat simply shook her head. "I'll...I'll be back soon, Serenity." Kat stepped forward then, ready to follow Lavinia. Serenity didn't say anything, she just looked angry and shocked and Lavinia smiled calmly at her.
"I promise to return her in one piece."
"Whatever." Serenity grabbed a coat and she stalked out of the room past them.
To Lavinia, Kat look more ashamed than Lavinia had ever seen her. Her head was ducked and her voice quiet as she said, "she's really nice. She's just upset."
"I know. She's upset because you lied to her and now she has to feel grief as a result of your actions. Come on, Kat. My room's upstairs."
Kat followed mutely and when they reached Lavinia's room, she sat on the woman's bed and she accepted the water Lavinia gave her. She stayed silent as Lavinia sat in front of her. She knew what was coming. "My son doesn't deserve this, Kat."
What a way to open. The very thing which cut to the heart of the matter. "He hit me, Lavinia!" Kat lifted her eyes once again to meet Lavinia's, and she tried so hard to say more. She couldn't. She simply could not lie to Lavinia. The woman's face was so open, so kind and loving. And Kat couldn't do it.
"I know he did. And I have already spoken to him about that because no matter what you were doing to him, he is still bigger than you and stronger than you and he had no right. I do believe he was not the only one in that room misbehaving."
Kat put her face in her hands and she let out a soft cry of frustration and guilt. "Lavinia..."
Lavinia sighed and she leaned back in the chair. "Honeychild, whatever you are feeling right now...I understand."
That pissed Kat off and she lifted her head, her eyes suddenly full of anger. "No you don't! Your husband left you, he didn't die! And my son was taken from me!" Kat had, of course, conveniently forgotten about Thomas being dead now that it suited her argument. "You couldn't possibly understand!"
Lavinia remained calm, because she knew Kat didn't know about Walter and Killian. Kat was probably sick of people saying they understood when they had no frame of reference. Lavinia did. "Kat, Bernard was my second husband."
"W...what? What does that have to do with SHIT, Lavinia!" Kat was crying lightly, even in her anger, and she wiped tears away, annoyed.
"I was married to a wonderful man when I was still very young. His name was Walter Kinsey. We had been married for three wonderful years and had a two-year-old son named Killian when I arrived home and found them dead." Kat had been shamed and stunned to silence, and her mouth dropped open. "You didn't know that, so I forgive you for your hurtful words. As you can see, I do understand."
"Holy shit."
"Pretty much. I was devastated, Kat. So devastated that when I met Bernard, I did anything he asked me to. I married him because he was there. I won't say he didn't make me happy, because he did at first. And even when he left, I loved him. But it wasn't the same. He didn't love me. He thought he did, but he didn't. And I should have seen that. If I had, I wouldn't have my children and what a loss that would be. But my life would have been far different. Far easier."
Kat groaned and she let herself fall back against Lavinia's bed, empty water glass now resting at her feet. "You didn't fuck up any friendships, did you?"
Lavinia laughed and she kicked her legs up so she was sitting in the chair sideways, legs slung over the armrest. "I fucked up a lot of things, Cutie. I had dropped out of school to marry Walter and when he died, I was left penniless. I went back to live with my parents who were so wonderful. And I ignored them when they told me not to marry Bernard. So you can probably see why my family was less than sympathetic when he did leave me up shit creek fifteen years later. I didn't assault anyone to try to break up their marriage, no... But I did ignore the advice of older, wiser people. And my children suffered for it."
"You too?" Kat asked quietly, still staring up at the ceiling.
"Me too," Lavinia admitted. She wasn't usually one to talk about her own pain. She covered it up under bravado and funny t-shirts. Kat needed to hear. "You're acting out because you don't want to feel. Kat, I know it's shit."
Kat sat up then, supporting herself on angled arms. "It's more than shit."
"I know that too."
"Argh." Kat ran her fingers through her wet hair and she let out a short scream. "Lavinia, god, I am so fucking stupid!"
"No, Kat. You did a bad thing. So did Thomas. Are you going to hold it against him?"
"No!" Kat was very quick to answer. She lifted her fingers to touch the bruise, which was already fading. "No, of course not."
"I think they may need time, Spectre and Thomas. But going through these things...they do tend to make people crazy. Your plan didn't work, and that just proves to the boys that their marriage is sound. I believe they'll forgive you if you make them see you deserve to be forgiven."
"How...how do I do that?"
"Apologise, first of all. And second of all, you need to square things with Serenity. Don't let that poor girl believe that the husband of her band mate hit you for no reason. If she's still angry, that is her right. But she deserves to hear the whole story."
"Yeah..." That wasn't something Kat was looking forward too. "Yeah. Lavinia?"
"Yes, Kat?"
"Can you...stay here for a few days? I just..." And with that, Kat burst into tears and Lavinia moved over to sit beside her on the bed. Kat sobbed her heart out while clinging to Lavinia for dear life.
"I know, Lovey," Lavinia whispered and she kissed Kat's hair. "I know."