Moving on (Peter, Caleb)
Peter was standing just outside the kitchen, smoking and hiding both at the same time. You couldn't hide from Caleb, however. He noticed the smoke going past the window and he leaned out the door, giving Peter a critical look. "Daddy, are you smoking?"
Peter glanced over at Caleb and he gave the boy a guilty look. "Heh..." And then he blew the smoke out past his lips, which clearly answered the question for him.
"If you get lung cancer, you know Mummy will kick your arse." Caleb said, crossing his little arms over his chest.
Peter chuckled and he put the cigarette out against the wall. "Well put." He said, nodding in Caleb's direction. "Smoking's a disgusting habit."
"Then why do you do it?" Caleb asked, grabbing Peter's hand to lead him back inside.
Peter closed the door behind them and he tried to think of a good answer for that. He didn't smoke all the time, like he once had when he was with Katherine. One wouldn't even call it 'often' anymore. It was just when he was stressed, and at the moment, the seizures he kept having were more than stressful enough to drive him to nicotine. Which was really just a substitute for alcohol, anyway. But that was a lot to explain to an eight year old. "I have a lot on my mind and I'm very silly?"
"What's on your mind, Daddy?" Caleb climbed up onto the kitchen bench so he could look into Peter's eyes. Well...almost.
Peter aighed and he moved across the kitchen to place his hands on Caleb's knees. He wasn't going to keep anything from his stepson, especially if he was asking. And all his kids knew what was going on healthwise, as they'd all witnessed it happen. "It's just the seizures. I don't like having them and I'm ready for them to go away. But I can't take pills to make them less bad because sometimes the seizures make me have a vision and that's how I help people."
"That sucks!" Caleb announced, and he was quite right. It did suck. "Are you going to be sick forever?"
"I don't know. Abby and Dr. Tracy are the best though, so if there's something to be done, they'll find it." Peter reached out to ruffle Caleb's hair. "I'll be okay."
"Are you scared though?" Caleb reached out to pat Peter's hands. "Because if you are, I know how you feel."
And suddenly Peter realised that Caleb did know exactly how he felt. Caleb had diabetes and he dealt with that every day. And it wasn't just a matter of watching his diet, he had to manage injections and testing his blood sugar and everything else. He was an active boy and it was very important that he keep everything balanced. He had had several scares already, and there was no cure for what he had. Of course he understood the fear of a sickness you never got rid of. Peter nodded and he kissed the little boy on the forehead. "I know you do, Caleb. I'll tell you what, if I need help, I'll come to you, okay?"
Caleb grinned and he raised his arms in the air in triumph. "Okay!!" He liked the idea of taking care of Peter. It made him feel important. "Like, if you're scared, you can crawl in bed with mummy. That helps."
Peter snorted and he hugged Caleb tightly. God, he was precious. "Yes. Yes, that would help." Peter pulled back, his hands on Caleb's shoulders. "You're quite a wonderful young man."
"I know. Wanna watch a movie?!"
"Absolutely." Peter helped Caleb off of the counter and he followed Caleb upstairs. If Caleb could deal, certainly Peter could. Enough brooding. It was time to move on. And watching a movie with Caleb was certainly a wonderful way to start doing that.
Peter glanced over at Caleb and he gave the boy a guilty look. "Heh..." And then he blew the smoke out past his lips, which clearly answered the question for him.
"If you get lung cancer, you know Mummy will kick your arse." Caleb said, crossing his little arms over his chest.
Peter chuckled and he put the cigarette out against the wall. "Well put." He said, nodding in Caleb's direction. "Smoking's a disgusting habit."
"Then why do you do it?" Caleb asked, grabbing Peter's hand to lead him back inside.
Peter closed the door behind them and he tried to think of a good answer for that. He didn't smoke all the time, like he once had when he was with Katherine. One wouldn't even call it 'often' anymore. It was just when he was stressed, and at the moment, the seizures he kept having were more than stressful enough to drive him to nicotine. Which was really just a substitute for alcohol, anyway. But that was a lot to explain to an eight year old. "I have a lot on my mind and I'm very silly?"
"What's on your mind, Daddy?" Caleb climbed up onto the kitchen bench so he could look into Peter's eyes. Well...almost.
Peter aighed and he moved across the kitchen to place his hands on Caleb's knees. He wasn't going to keep anything from his stepson, especially if he was asking. And all his kids knew what was going on healthwise, as they'd all witnessed it happen. "It's just the seizures. I don't like having them and I'm ready for them to go away. But I can't take pills to make them less bad because sometimes the seizures make me have a vision and that's how I help people."
"That sucks!" Caleb announced, and he was quite right. It did suck. "Are you going to be sick forever?"
"I don't know. Abby and Dr. Tracy are the best though, so if there's something to be done, they'll find it." Peter reached out to ruffle Caleb's hair. "I'll be okay."
"Are you scared though?" Caleb reached out to pat Peter's hands. "Because if you are, I know how you feel."
And suddenly Peter realised that Caleb did know exactly how he felt. Caleb had diabetes and he dealt with that every day. And it wasn't just a matter of watching his diet, he had to manage injections and testing his blood sugar and everything else. He was an active boy and it was very important that he keep everything balanced. He had had several scares already, and there was no cure for what he had. Of course he understood the fear of a sickness you never got rid of. Peter nodded and he kissed the little boy on the forehead. "I know you do, Caleb. I'll tell you what, if I need help, I'll come to you, okay?"
Caleb grinned and he raised his arms in the air in triumph. "Okay!!" He liked the idea of taking care of Peter. It made him feel important. "Like, if you're scared, you can crawl in bed with mummy. That helps."
Peter snorted and he hugged Caleb tightly. God, he was precious. "Yes. Yes, that would help." Peter pulled back, his hands on Caleb's shoulders. "You're quite a wonderful young man."
"I know. Wanna watch a movie?!"
"Absolutely." Peter helped Caleb off of the counter and he followed Caleb upstairs. If Caleb could deal, certainly Peter could. Enough brooding. It was time to move on. And watching a movie with Caleb was certainly a wonderful way to start doing that.