Comments | darkenedsakura: [Suzumiya Haruhi] [Koizumi-centric, I/H, K/H] a kingdom fit for God

darkenedsakura

[Suzumiya Haruhi] [Koizumi-centric, I/H, K/H] a kingdom fit for God - one shot

Sep 19, 2007 21:46

Title: a kingdom fit for God
Fandom: The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi / Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu
Rating: PG
Length: 1,810 words, one shot
Character/Pairing: Koizumi-centric, some one-sided Itsuki/Haruhi and implied Kyon/Haruhi
Prompts: Written for 31_days, September 19, 2007: The hustle and bustle of the traffic greets you.
Warnings: No real specific ( Read more... )

pairings:kyon/haruhi, stuff:fanfiction, themes:themes challenges, themes:31_days, pairings:itsuki/haruhi, fandoms:melancholy of suzumiya haruhi

Comments 16

I probably forgot to mention something anyway, but oh well. irmess September 19 2007, 16:12:41 UTC

Wheee. I like seeing a Melancholy fic on my friendslist, as rarely as it happens~

I have a terrible weakness for Itsuki/Kyon/Haruhi as a love triangle (as screwed up as it may be) - and you handled it really well and in a probable manner, despite the fact I believe it's Kyon who Itsuki has a crush on. 8D And the aforementioned trippy writing style of yours is very interesting to read and extremely characteristic - although it makes some of the parts slightly confusing. But I freaking love your usage of metaphores (reminding me of Utena somehow, and if a fic reminds me of Utena, it's almost always a good sign), which would make listing all the sentences I especially liked fairly tiresome ♥~

Itsuki being angsty makes me a little sad, though. :[

Re: I probably forgot to mention something anyway, but oh well. darkenedsakura September 19 2007, 17:15:19 UTC

Well, I'm glad that I'm adding to the pool, I suppose? XD

Ahaha. I tend to see almost no slash anywhere I go, so yeeeeah. And I think it's fairly canon that Koizumi likes Haruhi. I'm eclectic. XD;; And ack, is it confusing and where? That's usually not my aim, though some of these oxymorons were supposed to be pretty atypical. D:

I dunno if I made him angsty; he feels sort of neutral to me, though I'm weird in that regard. If anything, the huge backstory/up to novel 9 fic I'm writing for him will make him far angstier than this. *shifty eyes*

But wow, thanks so much for your comment. Characterization is my number one goal so I'm glad that got across. And I'm glad you liked it!

Re: I probably forgot to mention something anyway, but oh well. irmess September 19 2007, 22:08:17 UTC

By all means, you should be. :D

Well, I suppose I'm not much of a slash fangirl in general, but I do have a weakness for subtext and these two really get to me. 8D And actually, I am of the opinion he might have feelings for both of them. Which is even more complicated and more fun to write, I suppose~ (Hm, I'd say the pins and needles part gets a little too metaphorical, since I'm not sure what it's about, although that might be just a second language issue)

...If this, for you, is not angsty, and that fic you're writing is going to be even more "intense" in that aspect, then damn. DO WANT. ♥ And you're welcome~

Re: I probably forgot to mention something anyway, but oh well. darkenedsakura September 20 2007, 10:29:21 UTC

*is embarrassed XD*

I'm just one of those strange het fangirls, eh. XD Koizumi's just...hard to pin down, because imo he's the biggest contradiction/most complicated character in the entire brigade, with Haruhi a close enough second. And there's enough stuff that can be interpreted any which way.

And hm. To be honest...I don't plan out what I write half the time. I mean, I get a theme from 31_days or something and then I have a barely-there thread that connects scenes that just pop into my head, but that's that. Say, the images and metaphors I supposedly use? They just...come. Like the pins and needles part, I just had the imagery of a heart(-shaped?) pinholder. For no good reason. And I probably should improve my writing by improving these brain expulsions of mine, but I never do, and it always makes sense to me because my brain's messy, and then. :D;

...So yeah, in other words. One of these days I'll make sense! XD;;;; It's funny because writing for the SH fandom is the first time I've ever been critiqued on my style, which is ( ... )

Thread 7

ex_systemati701 September 19 2007, 16:19:20 UTC

sorry for being ot, but... do you have the image you used for your icon on sos_brigade? D:

but your writing is beautiful. I love it. :3

darkenedsakura September 19 2007, 17:11:07 UTC

Haha, no problem. I uploaded it a while ago for someone, so I have the link handy: here. I absolutely adore this image, really; it's pretty much the best SH one, imo, and one of my absolute favorites from any fandom.

And thanks! :D

ex_systemati701 September 19 2007, 17:31:27 UTC

thank you~ :3

nonplussedprate September 19 2007, 20:02:39 UTC

Words cannot even describe how much I loved this fic (I've been shipping Koizumi/Haruhi for a while now but //nothing// I've come up with is as good as this)

♥ the Koizumi angst of lurv ^_^

darkenedsakura September 20 2007, 10:37:43 UTC

Uhm wow. I'm...really glad that you liked it so much XD And eh, I doubt that. My brain just spits out junk that it forces me to write down, so. XD;;;;

But thanks again :D And though I said earlier that I didn't think he was even being really angsty here, he is quite fun to angst up. XD

nonplussedprate September 20 2007, 11:29:40 UTC

I can see what you mean about it not being really angsty and more... neutral. He's accepted his role in the story, but it's kind of a sad role don'cha think?

I think that might've been what was good about your story, you wrote it like he was neutral so while it came out a wee angsty, that had nothing to do with how Koizumi was treating the situation but how the situation was treating him (the difference between emo angst and good angst so to speak)

... I'm rambling now, sorry, it's just I sort of came across a character revelation and now I'm excited ^_^ Once again, loved it and can't wait to see more!

darkenedsakura September 20 2007, 15:14:35 UTC

It surprised me when people said it was angsty. Maybe because I've empathized with him up to the point where I feel just like him and go, "oh, really?" I'm not sure. In retrospect and looking from the outside, it -is- sort of sad, but yeah. XD

And nah, that still makes me go all :D. I dunno when I'll have time for the next fics, but I guarantee that I'll have one in the future where Koizumi is, above and beyond, the central figure in it again. :D

Hallelujah anonymous September 23 2007, 05:38:43 UTC

I love you. I love your fics. I love this fic.
My OTP used to be Koizumi/Nagato (inorganicshipping), but I'm going to abandon that for Koizumi/Haruhi (spiritualshipping) instead, all thanks to this fic.
I'm tired of Koizumi being used as a sex object in K/K slash fics and your gen fics are like a breath of fresh air after spending ten years underground locked in a coffin. [insert more words of gratitude] You must be God sent.

That's it, I better go sleep before I lose my mind and start writing fics myself.

Re: Hallelujah darkenedsakura September 23 2007, 08:43:40 UTC

Uhm, wow. I'm not really worthy of your praise, but thanks! I wouldn't know since I don't touch K/K slashfic, but considering all of the canon bits that point to Koizumi's fascination with Haruhi, I'm just surprised that more people haven't tried to tackle the idea. And yeah, I ship Kyon/Haruhi like whoa, but I still have my alternate pairings and gen will always be my favorite.

So yeah, uhm, thanks again, and glad you liked it so much! And hey, writing fic is good. XD