[29] schism
[Juudai listens closely as some cogs inside him shift. He is sitting straight against a wall somewhere, clearly in a deep trance that appears to be much like one that could be induced by meditation.
Somewhere in his mind, a voice carries over the void of darkness that sprawls under his feet. (Well, it isn't so much under as it is around, shaped under and around his body like it was holding onto him.)
"It's nice here, safe here. Don't want to leave. Do I have to?"
Juudai snuggles down, surrounded by a little more darkness. He feels comfortable, better than he had been for so long. Like before the insanity came crashing down on him, despite not knowing what caused it in the first place.
"Yes. Get up, Juudai."
The voice calling out to him reminds him of one long gone, of something long past. Familiar but so very different.
"No..." Blunt truth, blunt lies.
"Juudai."
"I can't! Not now!" Juudai choked out. Too much, too much. He wasn't able to deal with it all. He couldn't--
A pair of hands (those aren't hands) latch onto his wrists and drag him from the cocoon of shadows (LIES) that have spun around his body, thick as they are. A face, clear as day, stares at him. His eyes, topaz in color, stares directly at him, full of hope, and he smiles gently.
He looks in his eyes -- his own eyes -- just as it all shatters like a glass.
Then, Haou speaks aloud to himself as he returns to the world he is forced to survive in, eyes focusing slowly. It's likely he doesn't even realizing he's speaking.]
...When the time comes, I won't let you go. I promise.
((OOC: So like. Those of you who know GX, before you go bonking me on the head for this, allow me to explain myself. Yes, Juudai and Haou are very much the same person. HOWEVER, at the time Haou was first awakened, I have a belief that Juudai's personality split into two at the time as a result -- an unspoken that, based on some of the dialogue in the series, seems pretty feasible. While they later merged back together again when Juudai takes control of Haou's power by his own means, his first round as Haou consisted of a dominant persona and another hidden underneath that no longer had the strength of will to surface, unable to handle his own mistakes as he was.
This whole post is basically Haou trying to confirm this and get in touch with the deeply hurt Juudai he thought was gone... I mean, naturally, you're going to want to protect yourself, right? And since he wasn't done with his first time being Haou when he was pulled into ME, the personalities are schisming further apart than they normally would have as he mires himself deeper in his own all-consuming negativity.
...Okay, uh. Shoot me if you want to now that I've explained that. >>))
Somewhere in his mind, a voice carries over the void of darkness that sprawls under his feet. (Well, it isn't so much under as it is around, shaped under and around his body like it was holding onto him.)
"It's nice here, safe here. Don't want to leave. Do I have to?"
Juudai snuggles down, surrounded by a little more darkness. He feels comfortable, better than he had been for so long. Like before the insanity came crashing down on him, despite not knowing what caused it in the first place.
"Yes. Get up, Juudai."
The voice calling out to him reminds him of one long gone, of something long past. Familiar but so very different.
"No..." Blunt truth, blunt lies.
"Juudai."
"I can't! Not now!" Juudai choked out. Too much, too much. He wasn't able to deal with it all. He couldn't--
A pair of hands (those aren't hands) latch onto his wrists and drag him from the cocoon of shadows (LIES) that have spun around his body, thick as they are. A face, clear as day, stares at him. His eyes, topaz in color, stares directly at him, full of hope, and he smiles gently.
He looks in his eyes -- his own eyes -- just as it all shatters like a glass.
Then, Haou speaks aloud to himself as he returns to the world he is forced to survive in, eyes focusing slowly. It's likely he doesn't even realizing he's speaking.]
...When the time comes, I won't let you go. I promise.
((OOC: So like. Those of you who know GX, before you go bonking me on the head for this, allow me to explain myself. Yes, Juudai and Haou are very much the same person. HOWEVER, at the time Haou was first awakened, I have a belief that Juudai's personality split into two at the time as a result -- an unspoken that, based on some of the dialogue in the series, seems pretty feasible. While they later merged back together again when Juudai takes control of Haou's power by his own means, his first round as Haou consisted of a dominant persona and another hidden underneath that no longer had the strength of will to surface, unable to handle his own mistakes as he was.
This whole post is basically Haou trying to confirm this and get in touch with the deeply hurt Juudai he thought was gone... I mean, naturally, you're going to want to protect yourself, right? And since he wasn't done with his first time being Haou when he was pulled into ME, the personalities are schisming further apart than they normally would have as he mires himself deeper in his own all-consuming negativity.
...Okay, uh. Shoot me if you want to now that I've explained that. >>))