I really fucked up this time.
So last night I went out with B and J...ok so that was fine and fun..went to the movies..played DDR..and then hit up Lesure(sp)time...saw Zac again and his girl who this time was doing well and made a better first impression. Also got kody who apparently adores me and wants to be my bf..anyways got pretty wasted and he tried to go down my pants..didn't like that much..also met Davey and Josh..we were at Davey's appt..and just it got pretty crazy and I flashed everyone and Davey took a pic of my boobs on his digi camra..of course my face was not with them, but..yeah because I was smart enough to have my shirt over my face when I did it..but still I shouldn't have and now I feel like shit about it. Kody is still after me and my problems are that I like Kody I do, but so does B, and Kody is my brother's room mate and B is my brother's wife! No divorce yet, anyways...she likes him, he likes me but wants to get down anyone's pants..grr. I really want to get to know Davey more last night it seemed like he was a man after my own heart and I just simply adore him. OH he did ask me for a pic of my boobs didn't just take it too..and I said something in a drunken stupor to the likeness of "ok, but only because you're and artist." I fucked up bad, and now they have the pics..I really want to cry..but I'm really frustrated with myself..although there is no way for them to place them with me it doesn't matter..I'm still very angry about how stupid I can be sometimes, and then driving myself and J home after drinking wasn't the greatest idea in the world either. I was late walked in at 1 and my dad was still waiting up just to give me a letter from WIU because he wanted to see my face when I opened it, so I had to read it to him best I could and tell him I was really tired and couldn't talk...lol..I think I did well...so many big words...stupid college letters! So now I have to work today and I just got off the phone with Kody and he told me they printed out the pictures...I was shocked because I told Davey to delete them last night when I started to sober up. He said he would if I came back again..gosh I hate guys but I want Davy, and Kody wants me and I want him, but I just know I wouldn't be able to trust him, just how he was acting last night..and I don't want to lead him on..so it really sux..I don't know what to do..I haven't really taked to Megan since we broke up and I have a bunch of people that are going to be pissed at me now because I didn't go play VM last night..but I had curfew even though I ended up breaking it anyways! I really got to go it's 1:30 and I have to work at 3 I haven't even showered or dressed yet..I'm so..ah!!!!!!! I'm mad at myself..I regret and don't regret last night..what do I tell Kody...do I give him a chance even though I don't know if I want to..or do I tell him no and go for his friend which he introduced me to last night? I have a feeling I've been leading him on..I have a habit of doing that because I don't like to hurt people's feelings...I don't want to do that..but yeah, I can't let a guy get between B and I we've been best friends for over 5 years! I'm in a bit of a pickle dontcha think?