Dont read this.
I feel like crap. real crap. josh is a good friend. but i still feel like crap. crap crap crap fucking goddamn crap. my life is shit at the moment.
chris and mum split up, i know ive been saying ooh yay at fucking last and stuff but its still upsetting, we can never get it right, me and my mum, make stupid mistakes, it never goes right.maybe its my fault. everything seems to be my fault right now. The truth is, it hurts.alot right now. So many things are going on. Im trying to be happy for people whos lives are going right, and pretending its happy for me.But its just not. Not happy one bit. Not at all. Nothing. I feel so empty, suddenly everything has come crashing down, and everything has fallen to pieces. No offence but i dont want any comments going "i know what it feels like!" because you dont, everbody feels different about things. My life is a big shit hole. Yeah my mum says its not my fault. yeah fucking right, i bet if i wasnt around she would be happy, married, probably have a job, not suffer from all these silly illnesses.
People say yeah it will be okay in the end, everything always works out okay. Yeah thats said every fucking time. whats this? like the 8th time or something stupid and its still gone wrong. well ya know what. no its not alright. and no its not going to be alright. and it never will be.stop saying that.I hate the fact that everything is so miserable. Maybe thats why im a happy person most of the time, because i bottle it up, and then this happens.every fucking time.you know you see those people, perfect lives, parents still together, popular, have a boyfriend, got the brains and the beauty. why cant i be like them. i just see no point in anything right now. nothing. why should i bother, nothing will ever go right.
I don't particularly care if this doesn't make sense, or if my spelling and puntuation are incorrfuckingect. I.dont.care.
I don't even know what im crying for, maybe it is all those asshole reasons. or maybe i just dont know why.Why should i even give a fucking damn.
When my mum dies, i will have no one. No One. My dads an ass. My aunties and Uncles are all fucking off to other countries. And im here, just me and my mum, like its always been.Always will be. I'm fed up of ranting dont bother reading this and if you have dont give me some shitty comment saying "oh im so sorry it will get better" go fuck your mum. yeah can you tell im mad yet?