no one reads this so idc.
um. yeah.
fuck this.
this whole fucking scene just sucks.
no one is real.
no one is honest.
everyone you think is real or honest
has got something they are hiding.
whether it be a personality, a big lie, or a secret.
even me.
no one is real.
no one is honest.
can you tell me why i feel this way?
how going on my 17th year has made me feel more alone than ever?
my parents actually remembered this year.
but no one else did.
and i'd hate to be one of those girls that are like,
"ooh! that day's my birthday! buy me something!"
fuck that. if no one remembers or cares, i dont care.
its just that- everyone makes me think i have friends.
like- at school people say to me,
"god kait you're so popular, everyone says hi to you."
but thats not the truth at all.
and what you see on the outside just isnt real.
its just an image.
and a false sense of security for me i guess.
because at one point- i actually thought i did have those friends.
but everything is different now.
and im back with my feet on the ground
and my head on straight, not in the clouds.
and i kind of wish i wasnt.
i wish i kept on thinking that i wasnt as sad as i am.
but this is what i am.
a stupid fucking sad girl.
with nothing to look forward to.
but community college and a front row view
of watching my "friends" live out my dreams.
ughh. happy birthday to me. ♥
fuck this.
this whole fucking scene just sucks.
no one is real.
no one is honest.
everyone you think is real or honest
has got something they are hiding.
whether it be a personality, a big lie, or a secret.
even me.
no one is real.
no one is honest.
can you tell me why i feel this way?
how going on my 17th year has made me feel more alone than ever?
my parents actually remembered this year.
but no one else did.
and i'd hate to be one of those girls that are like,
"ooh! that day's my birthday! buy me something!"
fuck that. if no one remembers or cares, i dont care.
its just that- everyone makes me think i have friends.
like- at school people say to me,
"god kait you're so popular, everyone says hi to you."
but thats not the truth at all.
and what you see on the outside just isnt real.
its just an image.
and a false sense of security for me i guess.
because at one point- i actually thought i did have those friends.
but everything is different now.
and im back with my feet on the ground
and my head on straight, not in the clouds.
and i kind of wish i wasnt.
i wish i kept on thinking that i wasnt as sad as i am.
but this is what i am.
a stupid fucking sad girl.
with nothing to look forward to.
but community college and a front row view
of watching my "friends" live out my dreams.
ughh. happy birthday to me. ♥