still the days, those lonely days, they go on and on.
yes. i'm listening to frank sinatra.
shock. ♥
i think i should write a book.
steph, dee, meg, dani, you guys know what i'm talking about.
an informative book.
not the kind i'm currently writing.
which is exploding by the way.
i need new pictures.
i need a new look.
i need new people in my life.
i need to get away.
almost everyone here is fucking plastic.
+ that 'almost' implies a sense of uncertainty,
however it is only there to make those i do actually like
understand that its not them. just everyone else.
+ i know that makes me sound like a bitch.
but whatever. if you think i am, great.
my entries are rapidly declining in
any meaningful content anyway.
last night i was actually in a great mood to update.
but my computer exploded.
twice.
so i wrote deanna a letter instead.
+ it was actually quite inspirational if i'm remembering correctly.
because last night i had an epiphany.
i went to the beach last night with the intent
to surf the big ones courtesy of the enormous
amounts of wind we've been having lately.
but i ended up being the photographer for the night.
+ i took pictures of everything.
+ there was this one shot that was breathtaking.
+ i hope i can get a hold of the kids camera it was
so i can maybe snag a copy of it + put in on here or myspace.
but lying on the beach, surprisingly warm on the rather chilly night,
watching my friends surf with only the headlights + brights of their cars
to light the way, hearing the sounds of the beach, + watching jade + mark slap fight
just intoxicated me with this great sense of serenity.
... + then i started thinking.
about everything. everything.
+ i came away wanting to change myself.
change the way i do things, so that i am overall happier.
+ i want to encourage my friends to do the same.
just dont take anything for granted.
+ make this time the best.
because time is really all we have.
deanna made me happy tonight.
because someone made her happy.
+ i hope i made someone happy.
because that would make me happier. (:
ok- back to being glum?
not that i'm jealous, but rather-
i'm envious of those couples i see at yg.
+ how they seem so in love + so into each other.
+ how they found it.
+ the fact of the matter is, i didnt.
so i guess i am jealous..
but i dont mean to be or show it if i do in any way.
im just in a mixed up point right now.
kind of in between everything.
from school to family to friends to guys.
im just nowhere.
+ im really going nowhere.
much like this entry.
the end. ♥
shock. ♥
i think i should write a book.
steph, dee, meg, dani, you guys know what i'm talking about.
an informative book.
not the kind i'm currently writing.
which is exploding by the way.
i need new pictures.
i need a new look.
i need new people in my life.
i need to get away.
almost everyone here is fucking plastic.
+ that 'almost' implies a sense of uncertainty,
however it is only there to make those i do actually like
understand that its not them. just everyone else.
+ i know that makes me sound like a bitch.
but whatever. if you think i am, great.
my entries are rapidly declining in
any meaningful content anyway.
last night i was actually in a great mood to update.
but my computer exploded.
twice.
so i wrote deanna a letter instead.
+ it was actually quite inspirational if i'm remembering correctly.
because last night i had an epiphany.
i went to the beach last night with the intent
to surf the big ones courtesy of the enormous
amounts of wind we've been having lately.
but i ended up being the photographer for the night.
+ i took pictures of everything.
+ there was this one shot that was breathtaking.
+ i hope i can get a hold of the kids camera it was
so i can maybe snag a copy of it + put in on here or myspace.
but lying on the beach, surprisingly warm on the rather chilly night,
watching my friends surf with only the headlights + brights of their cars
to light the way, hearing the sounds of the beach, + watching jade + mark slap fight
just intoxicated me with this great sense of serenity.
... + then i started thinking.
about everything. everything.
+ i came away wanting to change myself.
change the way i do things, so that i am overall happier.
+ i want to encourage my friends to do the same.
just dont take anything for granted.
+ make this time the best.
because time is really all we have.
deanna made me happy tonight.
because someone made her happy.
+ i hope i made someone happy.
because that would make me happier. (:
ok- back to being glum?
not that i'm jealous, but rather-
i'm envious of those couples i see at yg.
+ how they seem so in love + so into each other.
+ how they found it.
+ the fact of the matter is, i didnt.
so i guess i am jealous..
but i dont mean to be or show it if i do in any way.
im just in a mixed up point right now.
kind of in between everything.
from school to family to friends to guys.
im just nowhere.
+ im really going nowhere.
much like this entry.
the end. ♥