lay your hands on your mouth. negativity. i dont want to hear it.
not much has improved. for me anyway.
nicole got back from south carolina on monday? i think.
and i saw her tuesday in school. and just for a few seconds.
but she told me that she was really happy.
happy with everything.
and then i got a note from deanna.
telling me that she was really happy with everything and content.
and just those two people being happy made my day.
and just kept me going the whole week.
friday was dress-up bowling.
it was okay- not many people went due to a bitterness among that group.
whatever. i'm not really with that whole thing.
but frank came late and that made me happy.
i like knowing that he's out somewhere- because he just doesnt seem happy.
i got home and for some reason that guy jade that i met w. ryan was there.
so we talked a long time about things that have been going on with us.
and we called ryan and talked with him for a long time.
then we watched carrie and went to bed.
he left the next morning at like 11.30
saturday i had practice and it was terrible because we did nothing.
and then i had to go to the store with my mom.
dee and i went to friendly's and met justin chris meg and erica there.
we then went to waldbaums and i got peeps.
and then we went to the movies to see hitch, but it was sold out.
and chris wanted to see the aviator.
and by all rights- it should have been a good movie.
but it was too dragged out.
dee and i actually fell asleep. and i'm pretty sure chris did too.
and i had to pee really bad.
but at least i got to hang out w. all them. i havent in so long.
today was okay.
my team played the team that last indoor season i punched out the girl.
i got my goal finally.
and we won.
but i felt really sick the whole game.
and the ref was really homosexual with the calls.
and this girl slapped me towards the end. on the back.
i mean- at least when i hit someone i punch them. i dont just pussy slap.
bitch.
anyway- we both got kicked out of the game.
but there was only like 3 minutes left anyway.
and we didnt get carded, so outdoor season i'm clear.
i got home and i still didnt feel well.
but i wanted to go to the leadership thing at church.
and my mom wouldnt let me bc i needed to clean.
my mom made me clean everything. literally.
the bathrooms, the living room, the dining room.
the kitchen, the office, her room, brother's room (partially)
my room, the basement. i'm talking dusting, vaccuuming.
and dust accumulates in my house like no other.
and i had to make dinner, which is still cooking.
and i wasnt feeling good.
and i couldnt eat anything until i finished.
and now i finished and i want to eat something.
but i already started dinner.
so now she's telling me how fat i am.
and then somehow she moved on to how stupid and cruel
and what a user i am. how she doesnt understand how i have friends.
shut the fuck up.
and then she tells me that the way i think about myself
has nothing to do with her saying anything to me.
and that she doesnt care what i think.
perfect.
love. ♥
nicole got back from south carolina on monday? i think.
and i saw her tuesday in school. and just for a few seconds.
but she told me that she was really happy.
happy with everything.
and then i got a note from deanna.
telling me that she was really happy with everything and content.
and just those two people being happy made my day.
and just kept me going the whole week.
friday was dress-up bowling.
it was okay- not many people went due to a bitterness among that group.
whatever. i'm not really with that whole thing.
but frank came late and that made me happy.
i like knowing that he's out somewhere- because he just doesnt seem happy.
i got home and for some reason that guy jade that i met w. ryan was there.
so we talked a long time about things that have been going on with us.
and we called ryan and talked with him for a long time.
then we watched carrie and went to bed.
he left the next morning at like 11.30
saturday i had practice and it was terrible because we did nothing.
and then i had to go to the store with my mom.
dee and i went to friendly's and met justin chris meg and erica there.
we then went to waldbaums and i got peeps.
and then we went to the movies to see hitch, but it was sold out.
and chris wanted to see the aviator.
and by all rights- it should have been a good movie.
but it was too dragged out.
dee and i actually fell asleep. and i'm pretty sure chris did too.
and i had to pee really bad.
but at least i got to hang out w. all them. i havent in so long.
today was okay.
my team played the team that last indoor season i punched out the girl.
i got my goal finally.
and we won.
but i felt really sick the whole game.
and the ref was really homosexual with the calls.
and this girl slapped me towards the end. on the back.
i mean- at least when i hit someone i punch them. i dont just pussy slap.
bitch.
anyway- we both got kicked out of the game.
but there was only like 3 minutes left anyway.
and we didnt get carded, so outdoor season i'm clear.
i got home and i still didnt feel well.
but i wanted to go to the leadership thing at church.
and my mom wouldnt let me bc i needed to clean.
my mom made me clean everything. literally.
the bathrooms, the living room, the dining room.
the kitchen, the office, her room, brother's room (partially)
my room, the basement. i'm talking dusting, vaccuuming.
and dust accumulates in my house like no other.
and i had to make dinner, which is still cooking.
and i wasnt feeling good.
and i couldnt eat anything until i finished.
and now i finished and i want to eat something.
but i already started dinner.
so now she's telling me how fat i am.
and then somehow she moved on to how stupid and cruel
and what a user i am. how she doesnt understand how i have friends.
shut the fuck up.
and then she tells me that the way i think about myself
has nothing to do with her saying anything to me.
and that she doesnt care what i think.
perfect.
love. ♥