Write Up
Well times are getting really weird. The school gave me the wrong schedule so I need to get that changed. They missed an entire class. I have to watch my brother when he is around my sister now for fear of more terror about the house. I am thinking as usual about all things. One thing on my mind is school and oregon planning. I might miss the first 4 days of school. That would be weird I need to talk to my uncle about the times getting pushed back. I am sure that could happen though. I do want to go. With that is the party that is being planned for the first Friday of August I might not even be there. I was going to try out my lipstick then too. Je ne sais pas. I don't know I will see how all of that unfolds. Things with me are interesting I will talk about various thoughts below.
Well funny enough I realized I am responsible. Everyday I fight a fight to be good and mature and responsible or to be loud an annoying. Or even evil. I am not evil but still the point remains that I choose my actions and it makes me mature and a good person. Or so it seems at least. I guess I might be overly self sacrificing at times. I might not do enough for me and too much for others. Who really knows about that though. I for one don't. I am getting older and things are unfortunately coming into focus. A hard reality kind of thing though. The whimsical part of me might be fading. That isn't specifically bad though. Well it is but school will be putting it back into me. Next year I will have third lunch and will hopefully have alot of private or nearly private lunches as I don't see many or maybe even any people choosing to eat with me over the rest of their friends. In this world I need my solace away from my peers. Or my time to be refreshed around them. Whatever. I can't wait for school. I just need to do the Summer work. Here's to a good year at school. One that is full of contemplation revelation and happy memories and joyous times. It will be my last year as if any of my friends care.
I don't know it is just whatever it is I choose not to worry about things like that. HAHAHA I worry so much. I never relax in the head. I worry myself sick. I am always healthy though it makes no sense. I will say it now officially. I am lacking any of the things to put me into a good place. By that i mean that I don't need one specific thing. I need any of many things but right now I don't have any of anything that would help me so I dont know what to do. I will figure it out on my own. Help is nice but never works and never needed. After all I am so convoluted and confused and confusing to even begin to understand. Well be all things as they are I think now I will go to bed or something. Night all.