(no subject)
Whats wrong with me? I feel as if I must continue to torture and abuse myself. I checked Bull's profile today out of curiousity. His martial status is now long term relationship and in his latest news/hobbies says that he enjoys spending time with his woman. WTF??? Shit when we were "together" he never had any time for me. Maybe all I was to him was just someone to fool around with. Thats all I ever am to most people except my really good friends which I miss dearly except Dave. I get to see him a lot so I don't really have the chance to miss him.
My stomach is all twisted. I hate being used. Especially with the pretenses of a lie with someone saying they actually like me. Why can't people just be honest? I hate being led on. Blah. What I hate the most right now is that I always feel vulnerable and I continue to give my all.
Last night's experience really doesn't help me one bit either. I'm not going to talk about it since he reads my journal.
I think I'm going to go smoke a few ciggs. I keep digging a deeper and darker hole for myself.
My stomach is all twisted. I hate being used. Especially with the pretenses of a lie with someone saying they actually like me. Why can't people just be honest? I hate being led on. Blah. What I hate the most right now is that I always feel vulnerable and I continue to give my all.
Last night's experience really doesn't help me one bit either. I'm not going to talk about it since he reads my journal.
I think I'm going to go smoke a few ciggs. I keep digging a deeper and darker hole for myself.