End of One Conflict Just to Start Another...
Well, this kind of sucks, but it's not too bad. i know i'm a drama queen. i love pain and drama and any excitement to come to my life. maybe that's why i had that whole conflict with christy and oscar. i tend to make situations a lot more complicated then they need to be. But for once, i swear this time it wasn't my fault... well maybe a little. i don't think i helped my new situation very much, but, yeah. so i just finally got over the whole "i don't know if i'm in love w/ christy or oscar" thing and now i'm stuck in this "uh oh, one of oscar's best friends is falling for me" type of things. well, you see, oscar has this one friend name KC. KC is the best, he's adorable, can make music and some really bad ass art, and is the sweetest little thing you'll ever see. he's tall and lanky yet the best hugger in the world. see, i met KC a little while before i met oscar because he's one of sarah's friends and i guess he liked me and stuff but oscar asked me out before KC got a chance, and i think he still likes me. i rarely hang out w/ him, but when i do we just cuddle a lot. that's just how KC is. girls form lines downtown to get a hug from him. i'm telling you, he's the cutest. really skinny, really pale, glasses. just adorable. but i just like him as a friend. i love him a lot. he's the greatest, i don't think i've ever met anyone so sweet, but i fear he's getting too attached to me. and i love cuddling w/ him and hanging out w/ him but i don't want to lead him on, you know? geez, i'm always gonna be stuck in this pathetic soap opera. in other news, i think i have a new best friend. SAL! i love him sooooo much. if you knew him you would too. he's just so understanding, and wise, and loyal, he's a great friend, concerned, and just an overall great guy. well, him and sarah are my best friends. i can't leave her out of course. but seriously, i'm just posting about him because i realized i think i love him more than some other friends that used to be oh so close to my heart. like fernando. yes, i know it's amazing but i do value sal's friendship a lot more then fernando's. i think... yeah, i value his friendship over everyone else's. and he really is a great guy, not like the rest of my friends who are, sadly enough, some what of a phase. i mean, they're a lot of fun to hang out w/ but if you were ever dying or even just sick, i doubt they would care, let alone take care of you. but sal's the kind of honest and loyal person who'd stick by your side. and he's helped me more then anyone else i know figure things out. he probably doesn't know it because i always deny everything, but he has changed my mind about a lot of things and helped me come to some decisions that i probably still wouldn't have made if it weren't for him. i'm just kind of sad though because i don't think he knows how much i love him. i mean, that's completely my fault, i used to talk shit on him, you know? he used to creep me out. and he tried to be there for me before and i pushed him away. now we're buds, but i see him as a true friend. and now i'm kind of afraid to let him know how much he means to me because of sarah. she loves him a lot too, but in a different sense. she's not all dumb and teenagery about it like "i'm soooo in love w/ this guy and we're gonna get married and be together forever!" she just really values his friendship too, but more then anything else in her life. it's just more of a crucial matter for her. and she does get a little jealous when me and sal get close at all, because she wants so much from him, maybe too much. i don't know, she just wants a closer bond, not to go out w/ him or anything, just a closer bond. and i just don't want to hurt her anymore then she already is. maybe in a little they'll just get more used to each other and i can get closer to sal, in that friend type of way. another reason i really love him is i actually trust him. like, a lot. and i pretty much don't trust anybody. especially that quickly.so, yeah, that's all because i'm writing way too much.
-Jessica
-Jessica