[Fic] We found each other in the dark
We Found Each Other In The Dark
Rating: pg-13
Pairing: Yoochun/Changmin
Word count: 1,991
Summary: "We knew nothing about each other. Our only link was that we had both lost someone who had been holding a dear place in our hearts. I often wondered, years later, if we would have had ended up together if we had met under other circumstances." - Changmin
Author's notes: The lyrics in italics are from the song "We found each other in the dark" by City and Colour. If you never listened to this band, I highly suggest you do it now. They're Canadian and Dallas Green has, in my opinion, the best male voice ever.
You can listen to the song HERE
Also, this fic is for tsuyonshi because I love her and I promised her some Yoomin a while ago. I just didn't expect it to be so dark and depressing >_> I hope she will still enjoy it!
If they had been asked about the way they first met each other, they would have both answered that it was through a sick joke played by fate.
I heard the church bells from afar
but we found each other in the dark
and when the smoke does finally pass
we will rise above all the ash
cause we’re gonna live
we’re gonna live
we’re gonna live
at last
Changmin’s POV
I watched as dirt was thrown over the shiny surface of the small white coffin lying in the dug hole meant to receive it. My body was present on the scene, but I felt like my soul was floating around, providing me with a distorted view of reality. I wasn’t the kind of person who would usually believe in out-of body experiences since there was really nothing scientific about those, but here I was, feeling like I was having one.
I did notice out of the corner of my eyes that my mother had collapsed into my father’s arms and was sobbing uncontrollably against his shoulder. I also saw tears roll down the cheeks of some relatives and teachers. I was standing at the foot of the grave, staring down at it, jaw closed so tight that it would have hurt me if I had not been too numb to feel the pain.
After a moment, I felt a hand on my shoulder and Yunho, my best friend, urged me to move. I let him wrap one of his arms around my shoulders, something I wouldn’t have normally allowed if the situation had been different than the one I was currently in. I was thankful for his reassuring presence, but I tuned out his voice. I didn’t want to hear his words of comfort. He couldn’t understand the situation and I didn’t want his sympathy. I also refused to look at him because I didn’t want to see the concern and the worry in his eyes. I didn’t want to have to talk about the situation so I kept staring straight ahead as we walked toward the exit of the cemetery.
My family, my friends, everybody around me had tried to get a word out of me since the death, but my lips remained sealed. I had nothing to tell them even though my parents were probably suffering a lot more than I was.
We had just reached the bottom of the hill when we crossed another funeral cortege. Men were carrying a long black coffin toward the hill we had just come from. I vaguely remembered hearing the church bells ringing earlier. It must have been for this corpse, for this grieving family.
I was well on my way to ignore the procession completely now that I had given it a spare glance, but sometimes fate decides to step into your life and that’s when things usually stop making sense and start spiralling out of your control.
Yoochun’s POV
An empty shell.
That’s the best way someone could describe what I have turned into since the day my best friend’s life ended abruptly, not even a week ago. How are you supposed to keep on living when suddenly it feels like a part of yourself is missing? How are you supposed to be able to say your goodbyes while knowing that you won’t get to say ‘Hi’ ever again?
I know that my mother has been worrying a lot about me and I cannot blame her. I have stopped eating. The only time I leave my room is to go smoke a cigarette or ten, and wonder why I wasn’t chosen to die instead of him.
It was his funeral today and his mother had asked me if I would be willing to say a few words in front of his entire family and everyone who knew him. I don’t know why I said yes. The feelings we shared were so personal, but I wrote something anyway. The first part of it was a letter and I stared at his coffin the whole time I was reading it. Silence was so heavy in the church that a fly could have been heard flying around. Then, I sang, but my voice broke down in the middle and I walked away. I returned to sit on my bench and cried more than I had since the news of his death. I didn’t think there were still tears left inside of me, but his funeral proved me wrong.
I am not a violent person, but during the days he was exposed, an urge to punch everyone overcame me. They told me that I needed to keep on living because this is what he would have wanted me to do. Who were they to put words in his mouth and thoughts in his mind when he wasn’t there to defend himself anymore? When they didn’t even know him like I did?
His coffin was being carried inside the cemetery. His grave was to be on the lot belonging to his family on the top of the hill. I wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably anymore, but my shoulders were still shaking as tears continued to run down my cheeks. All this time, my eyes had been glued to his coffin, but I was suddenly taken by the desire to look around me, and so I did. I first saw a lush green environment which contrasted heavily with the purpose of this place, death. My best friend would have probably said cheek in tongue, that corpses make good fertilizer for the soil.
Then my gaze fell and focused on a group that was walking down the hill and coming our way. I was about to turn my head and lower my gaze back to the ground when our eyes met. If my life was a novel, I suppose that moment could have been compared to the start of a new chapter, although I wasn’t aware of it at the time.
So bright
the flames burned in our hearts
that we found each other in the dark
like beasts out in the wilderness
we are fighting to survive and convalesce
But we’re gonna live
we’re gonna live
we’re gonna live
like the rest
Changmin’s POV
In the beginning, I thought it was only a coincidence that he was at the cemetery every time I was going. After our gazes had met on the day of the funeral, I thought I was never going to see him again. There are so many people in the world that you see as you just walk by, but you will rarely ever see all of them again in the course of your life.
After about 2 months of seeing him in the cemetery, at the top of that hill, I told myself that maybe it wasn’t a coincidence after all.
We had never said a word to each other. Sometimes I would arrive and find him already there, kneeling in front of a tombstone. There are days where he would be silent and just kneel with his eyes closed, letting the wind dance with his hair. During those moments, it looked like he was communicating directly with something invisible. On other days, he would be talking. I couldn’t make out his words from where I was, but I could see his lips move.
But no matter what, he would always cry. Sometimes it was silent tears running down his cheeks as he kept his eyes closed and on other days, it was loud, painful cries coming deep from the bottom of his soul.
He fascinated me, to the point where I would often forget that the main reason I was coming to the cemetery wasn’t to observe him secretly, but to pay my respects.
This time, instead of kneeling in front of my little sister’s grave, I walked in direction of where he was kneeling and once there, kneeled down silently next to him. I closed my eyes and waited.
I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for exactly, but there was this feeling that today, something was going to be different. I couldn’t say how much time went by between the moment I closed my eyes and the moment I reopened them. All I can say is that when the grave reappeared in front of my eyes, I felt like someone was watching me so I turned my head to my right and met warm chocolate brown eyes staring right back at me.
Yoochun’s POV
It wasn’t a coincidence.
I couldn’t explain what happened to me after our gaze met on the day of my best friend’s funeral, but it was like an influence out of my control was guiding my decisions. I went back to the cemetery the day after the funeral, and then again the day after, and again. I needed my best friend, but I would always leave feeling so alone.
After a few days, I started noticing that he was also visiting the cemetery often and I wondered who the person he had lost too early was. He would always stand as straight as an arrow, gaze cast down on the small tombstone. Sometimes he would brush the tip of his fingers over the rough stone, but no matter what, I never saw him cry.
I never once thought that the reason he wasn’t crying was because he was heartless. The theory made no sense anyway because if he had truly been heartless, he wouldn’t have come visit the grave as often as he was. No, with time, I realized that he was trying to be strong although I couldn’t understand the reasoning behind it. There was no one here to see him, or judge him. It was normal for people to cry in a cemetery. He also didn’t have any reasons to hide from me as I couldn’t hide my tears whether he was around or not.
And then one day he came to kneel beside me. I felt his presence and turned my head to the left as I opened my eyes. His opened a moment later and I found myself staring into deep brown, almost black orbs. Before I could understand what I was doing, my lips were pressing against his.
Changmin’s POV
We knew nothing about each other. Our only link was that we had both lost someone who had been holding a dear place in our hearts. I often wondered, years later, if we would have had ended up together if we had met under other circumstances.
That day, his lips met mine, softly at first and he pulled back rapidly, cheeks coloring into a light shade of pink as he seemed to realize what he had just done, but my hands wrapped around the back of his head, my wrists meeting with the bones of his jaw line and I pulled his mouth back to mine.
The kiss started slow, but intensified until it was a clash of teeth and a battle of tongues. Our bodies shifted and I felt his hands on the front of my shirt, clutching and twisting the fabric. Our kiss turned desperate and we clung to each other, afraid that we would be left alone if we were to let go of each other.
When we broke apart, I cried for the first time since the death of my little sister. He didn’t ask me any questions; he didn’t need to ask anything, he simply knew. He held me tightly in his arms and rocked with me, his fingers running through my hair as I soaked his shirt with my pain.
through the dark starless waters
and the cold lonely air
on the rough restless seas
the vessel in deep disrepair
and our swans they start singing
but then oh rejoice
I can still hear your voice
Then I heard the church bells from afar
but we found each other in the dark.
Rating: pg-13
Pairing: Yoochun/Changmin
Word count: 1,991
Summary: "We knew nothing about each other. Our only link was that we had both lost someone who had been holding a dear place in our hearts. I often wondered, years later, if we would have had ended up together if we had met under other circumstances." - Changmin
Author's notes: The lyrics in italics are from the song "We found each other in the dark" by City and Colour. If you never listened to this band, I highly suggest you do it now. They're Canadian and Dallas Green has, in my opinion, the best male voice ever.
You can listen to the song HERE
Also, this fic is for tsuyonshi because I love her and I promised her some Yoomin a while ago. I just didn't expect it to be so dark and depressing >_> I hope she will still enjoy it!
If they had been asked about the way they first met each other, they would have both answered that it was through a sick joke played by fate.
I heard the church bells from afar
but we found each other in the dark
and when the smoke does finally pass
we will rise above all the ash
cause we’re gonna live
we’re gonna live
we’re gonna live
at last
Changmin’s POV
I watched as dirt was thrown over the shiny surface of the small white coffin lying in the dug hole meant to receive it. My body was present on the scene, but I felt like my soul was floating around, providing me with a distorted view of reality. I wasn’t the kind of person who would usually believe in out-of body experiences since there was really nothing scientific about those, but here I was, feeling like I was having one.
I did notice out of the corner of my eyes that my mother had collapsed into my father’s arms and was sobbing uncontrollably against his shoulder. I also saw tears roll down the cheeks of some relatives and teachers. I was standing at the foot of the grave, staring down at it, jaw closed so tight that it would have hurt me if I had not been too numb to feel the pain.
After a moment, I felt a hand on my shoulder and Yunho, my best friend, urged me to move. I let him wrap one of his arms around my shoulders, something I wouldn’t have normally allowed if the situation had been different than the one I was currently in. I was thankful for his reassuring presence, but I tuned out his voice. I didn’t want to hear his words of comfort. He couldn’t understand the situation and I didn’t want his sympathy. I also refused to look at him because I didn’t want to see the concern and the worry in his eyes. I didn’t want to have to talk about the situation so I kept staring straight ahead as we walked toward the exit of the cemetery.
My family, my friends, everybody around me had tried to get a word out of me since the death, but my lips remained sealed. I had nothing to tell them even though my parents were probably suffering a lot more than I was.
We had just reached the bottom of the hill when we crossed another funeral cortege. Men were carrying a long black coffin toward the hill we had just come from. I vaguely remembered hearing the church bells ringing earlier. It must have been for this corpse, for this grieving family.
I was well on my way to ignore the procession completely now that I had given it a spare glance, but sometimes fate decides to step into your life and that’s when things usually stop making sense and start spiralling out of your control.
Yoochun’s POV
An empty shell.
That’s the best way someone could describe what I have turned into since the day my best friend’s life ended abruptly, not even a week ago. How are you supposed to keep on living when suddenly it feels like a part of yourself is missing? How are you supposed to be able to say your goodbyes while knowing that you won’t get to say ‘Hi’ ever again?
I know that my mother has been worrying a lot about me and I cannot blame her. I have stopped eating. The only time I leave my room is to go smoke a cigarette or ten, and wonder why I wasn’t chosen to die instead of him.
It was his funeral today and his mother had asked me if I would be willing to say a few words in front of his entire family and everyone who knew him. I don’t know why I said yes. The feelings we shared were so personal, but I wrote something anyway. The first part of it was a letter and I stared at his coffin the whole time I was reading it. Silence was so heavy in the church that a fly could have been heard flying around. Then, I sang, but my voice broke down in the middle and I walked away. I returned to sit on my bench and cried more than I had since the news of his death. I didn’t think there were still tears left inside of me, but his funeral proved me wrong.
I am not a violent person, but during the days he was exposed, an urge to punch everyone overcame me. They told me that I needed to keep on living because this is what he would have wanted me to do. Who were they to put words in his mouth and thoughts in his mind when he wasn’t there to defend himself anymore? When they didn’t even know him like I did?
His coffin was being carried inside the cemetery. His grave was to be on the lot belonging to his family on the top of the hill. I wasn’t sobbing uncontrollably anymore, but my shoulders were still shaking as tears continued to run down my cheeks. All this time, my eyes had been glued to his coffin, but I was suddenly taken by the desire to look around me, and so I did. I first saw a lush green environment which contrasted heavily with the purpose of this place, death. My best friend would have probably said cheek in tongue, that corpses make good fertilizer for the soil.
Then my gaze fell and focused on a group that was walking down the hill and coming our way. I was about to turn my head and lower my gaze back to the ground when our eyes met. If my life was a novel, I suppose that moment could have been compared to the start of a new chapter, although I wasn’t aware of it at the time.
So bright
the flames burned in our hearts
that we found each other in the dark
like beasts out in the wilderness
we are fighting to survive and convalesce
But we’re gonna live
we’re gonna live
we’re gonna live
like the rest
Changmin’s POV
In the beginning, I thought it was only a coincidence that he was at the cemetery every time I was going. After our gazes had met on the day of the funeral, I thought I was never going to see him again. There are so many people in the world that you see as you just walk by, but you will rarely ever see all of them again in the course of your life.
After about 2 months of seeing him in the cemetery, at the top of that hill, I told myself that maybe it wasn’t a coincidence after all.
We had never said a word to each other. Sometimes I would arrive and find him already there, kneeling in front of a tombstone. There are days where he would be silent and just kneel with his eyes closed, letting the wind dance with his hair. During those moments, it looked like he was communicating directly with something invisible. On other days, he would be talking. I couldn’t make out his words from where I was, but I could see his lips move.
But no matter what, he would always cry. Sometimes it was silent tears running down his cheeks as he kept his eyes closed and on other days, it was loud, painful cries coming deep from the bottom of his soul.
He fascinated me, to the point where I would often forget that the main reason I was coming to the cemetery wasn’t to observe him secretly, but to pay my respects.
This time, instead of kneeling in front of my little sister’s grave, I walked in direction of where he was kneeling and once there, kneeled down silently next to him. I closed my eyes and waited.
I wasn’t sure what I was waiting for exactly, but there was this feeling that today, something was going to be different. I couldn’t say how much time went by between the moment I closed my eyes and the moment I reopened them. All I can say is that when the grave reappeared in front of my eyes, I felt like someone was watching me so I turned my head to my right and met warm chocolate brown eyes staring right back at me.
Yoochun’s POV
It wasn’t a coincidence.
I couldn’t explain what happened to me after our gaze met on the day of my best friend’s funeral, but it was like an influence out of my control was guiding my decisions. I went back to the cemetery the day after the funeral, and then again the day after, and again. I needed my best friend, but I would always leave feeling so alone.
After a few days, I started noticing that he was also visiting the cemetery often and I wondered who the person he had lost too early was. He would always stand as straight as an arrow, gaze cast down on the small tombstone. Sometimes he would brush the tip of his fingers over the rough stone, but no matter what, I never saw him cry.
I never once thought that the reason he wasn’t crying was because he was heartless. The theory made no sense anyway because if he had truly been heartless, he wouldn’t have come visit the grave as often as he was. No, with time, I realized that he was trying to be strong although I couldn’t understand the reasoning behind it. There was no one here to see him, or judge him. It was normal for people to cry in a cemetery. He also didn’t have any reasons to hide from me as I couldn’t hide my tears whether he was around or not.
And then one day he came to kneel beside me. I felt his presence and turned my head to the left as I opened my eyes. His opened a moment later and I found myself staring into deep brown, almost black orbs. Before I could understand what I was doing, my lips were pressing against his.
Changmin’s POV
We knew nothing about each other. Our only link was that we had both lost someone who had been holding a dear place in our hearts. I often wondered, years later, if we would have had ended up together if we had met under other circumstances.
That day, his lips met mine, softly at first and he pulled back rapidly, cheeks coloring into a light shade of pink as he seemed to realize what he had just done, but my hands wrapped around the back of his head, my wrists meeting with the bones of his jaw line and I pulled his mouth back to mine.
The kiss started slow, but intensified until it was a clash of teeth and a battle of tongues. Our bodies shifted and I felt his hands on the front of my shirt, clutching and twisting the fabric. Our kiss turned desperate and we clung to each other, afraid that we would be left alone if we were to let go of each other.
When we broke apart, I cried for the first time since the death of my little sister. He didn’t ask me any questions; he didn’t need to ask anything, he simply knew. He held me tightly in his arms and rocked with me, his fingers running through my hair as I soaked his shirt with my pain.
through the dark starless waters
and the cold lonely air
on the rough restless seas
the vessel in deep disrepair
and our swans they start singing
but then oh rejoice
I can still hear your voice
Then I heard the church bells from afar
but we found each other in the dark.