Don't you just love folk songs?

[darkcryst]

There was an old farmer, who sat on a rock,
Stroking his whiskers and shaking his
fist at some boys who were sat by his ricks
with their feet spread out and their hands on their
Marbles and play-things and at half past four
Along came a lady who looked like a
pretty young creature and who sat on the grass,
She pulled up her dress and showed them her
ruffles and laces and also her Duck,
Said she'd discovered a new way to
Bring up the children so they would not spit
while her boys in the stables were shoveling
refuse and rubbish from yesterdays hunt,
while the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
eyes at the fellow down by the dock
He looked like a man with a sizable
home in the country and a big fence out front,
when he asked her politely she showed him her
little pet dog who was subject to fits,
and then she did let him grab hold of her
small tender hand with a movement so quick,
she then bent on over and sucked on his
candy - so tasty - made of butter-scotch
so then he spread whipped-cream all over her
cookies that she gave him for fixing her walls
she invited him upstairs and played with his
puppy and she sang it this song.

And if you think it is dirty, well you're fucking well wrong.