HOSPICE
My Dad is now in Hospice care. It has just gotten to the point where he needs more care than we can give him here at home. He no longer has the strength to stand and walk. He fades in and out of consciousness and is sleeping often. Hardly drinking and rarely ever eating. And when he does eat, it is usually just a lemon italian ice...that's all he seems to want.
They are going to make him as comfortable as possible and try to ensure that he is not in any pain. It's a private room with a TV, microwave, and a refrigerator. Also, my Mom can stay there with him and she is. And she can just be his wife, and let them worry about all the medical things.
It won't be long now, maybe as little time as a week. I had a nice one on one chat with him Tuesday. I told him that he was the best father anyone could ever ask for, that he taught me everything I ever needed to know about being a man and being a dad. And how much I loved him. He told me how proud he was of me and that I was a man and a good one at that. I promised to take care of my Mom, to protect her, and to not let anyone take advantage of her. And he told me that he believed that I would.
Friday night Erin, my Mom, and I sat Lyric down and told her what was happening. That her Pa was dying, that we didn't know when, just that it would be soon. But that he wasn't in any pain. She cried, she told me that she didn't want him to go and didn't understand why he had to go. I told her that he had lived a long life and that it had been a good one. He married the best lady there is, had 4 children, 5 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren. He was loved by many and had touched many lives. And that, it was just his time, we're put here to do certain things and that her Pa had done everything he had been sent her to do. And now it was his time to move on and get his reward. She cried and cried. My Mom told me that I did a good job. I did my best, I guess that will have to be good enough.
I am going to miss him so much. He's the best, and that's no line of bullshit. He really is. I will head back to the hospice place again tomorrow and I will go every day until he moves on. I don't want him to go but I don't want him to hurt anymore.
I love you Dad, forever and ever until the end of time. You'll always be the man. Your dingo cowboy boots are way too big for one man to fill, so everyone is just going to have to chip in. I promise to keep trying to make you proud, to make your faith in me justified. I will never stop trying to live up to the man you see in me, but I'll never be enough to be the man I see in you. But just having had the honor of being your son is enough for me. I love you and I'll always be your pal.
They are going to make him as comfortable as possible and try to ensure that he is not in any pain. It's a private room with a TV, microwave, and a refrigerator. Also, my Mom can stay there with him and she is. And she can just be his wife, and let them worry about all the medical things.
It won't be long now, maybe as little time as a week. I had a nice one on one chat with him Tuesday. I told him that he was the best father anyone could ever ask for, that he taught me everything I ever needed to know about being a man and being a dad. And how much I loved him. He told me how proud he was of me and that I was a man and a good one at that. I promised to take care of my Mom, to protect her, and to not let anyone take advantage of her. And he told me that he believed that I would.
Friday night Erin, my Mom, and I sat Lyric down and told her what was happening. That her Pa was dying, that we didn't know when, just that it would be soon. But that he wasn't in any pain. She cried, she told me that she didn't want him to go and didn't understand why he had to go. I told her that he had lived a long life and that it had been a good one. He married the best lady there is, had 4 children, 5 grandchildren, and 2 great grandchildren. He was loved by many and had touched many lives. And that, it was just his time, we're put here to do certain things and that her Pa had done everything he had been sent her to do. And now it was his time to move on and get his reward. She cried and cried. My Mom told me that I did a good job. I did my best, I guess that will have to be good enough.
I am going to miss him so much. He's the best, and that's no line of bullshit. He really is. I will head back to the hospice place again tomorrow and I will go every day until he moves on. I don't want him to go but I don't want him to hurt anymore.
I love you Dad, forever and ever until the end of time. You'll always be the man. Your dingo cowboy boots are way too big for one man to fill, so everyone is just going to have to chip in. I promise to keep trying to make you proud, to make your faith in me justified. I will never stop trying to live up to the man you see in me, but I'll never be enough to be the man I see in you. But just having had the honor of being your son is enough for me. I love you and I'll always be your pal.