OK.. this is a reply to Susans dumbass question "ok, what did i do to you"
ok.. since i couldnt fit this in a comment.. its a journal.
so... whatever
fine...
since we must discuss my life story, here goes....
We agreed to always trust each other, a promise which i kept when u said u wanted to go to the movies with Reno.. and even when you came back from the movies that night and said... "it was alright that he kissed me on the cheek right" and even further to when u said, during the same conversation, trying to drag on what really happend "He kissed me on the lips!" What did I say to you? "I still love you, but i cant say im not mad..." and i blew it off in less than 30 minutes. But then... when you see that im doing something that I tried two different ways to do with you (more than twice and you didnt even put forth any effort at all) with somebody else, you freak out... call people, get my friend to talk about me behind my back... take your side, say I'm not being "a man" about it, and then If that werent enough... you try and monitor all my fuckin phonecalls by trying to stay on the phone with me 24/7 only to breathe and sigh the whole time & when i bring up topics they're something you're not interested in so u'd say "ok" and blow it off. but you'd get mad that we werent talking and call it my fault when you wouldnt put any effort into making a topic when YOU called ME!
So when i wanna get off the phone you say "mm" and when i say bye you say "mm" instead of "bye" and u did it on purpose because you know that Im not the type to hang up on people especially not the woman I love. so i'd stay on the phone until like 3am breathing and sleepy as hell and even then you'd still cry when i wanted off. and you knew i'd call you the next day if i wasnt busy. So then when i finally got enough courage to say "im going to sleep and if you dont say bye back to me, then oh well, i'll hang up anyway" you get all mad, complain to jessie and he calls me like "i didnt feel like hearin that shit," and in all actuality me niether, but i still heard the shit cuz it was the same thing, just not from your mouth. So, sooner or later I decided that I'd actually talk to some of my other friends who were calling me and i was ignoring who actually had something to say other than breathing and sighing and saying I miss you... seriously, i missed you too, but it gets old saying it for 3-4 hours striaght day after day after day... and when i started to go on the otherline.. you'd cry at me, and call jessie and cry at him about it... Not to mention everytime I'd say ok i'll call you back somebodys on the other line" you'd say "who" and then when i tell u ... u go "theyre more important than me?" So after I got tired of hearing that question i started asking you "why do u want to know? It doesnt matter, im still gettin off" so you'd call jessie like "Hes being mean to me and blah blah! And I KNOW who hes on the phone with! He should stop lieing to me and admit that hes cheating on me with her" yea... "cheating" on you... with a girl from California... which is not even phisically possible. just something u assume because u saw the result of something that takes two to make. (still reminding you that it coulda been with you) and then you tell me one day "I feel like all the time you spend with her, you should be spending with me" and then when you rephrase it after me saying "so i shouldnt spend ANY time with her... at all" you say "I mean, MOST of the time you spend with her you should be spending with me" and when i tell you "uh.. Susan.. you do even know how much time i spend with her... so how can you try to subtract most of the time i spend with a friend i cant see?" you get speachless. and when i try to tell you to calm down about the shit.. you get bratty and say "Its STUPID to be going out with someone whos doing that with someone!" and i swear to god if i didnt hurt my toungue biting it down so hard at that moment trying not to say "well then stop being stupid and go out with someone else" ...but no... I gave you even more generosity. so after hearing that it costs to date you, and that i was a god damn punk ass from your step father all on the day of your graduation party, I dont get time to cool off when i made it clear to u that Im upset right now and i need time to cool off... NO! Went in your ear and out the other, you only thought about what you wanted... so I was dragged in the pool. And the very next day we went right back to the same old mess that we went through like the party didnt even happen and thus you eventually started telling me that you didnt trust me and that u couldnt and that you were "TRYING" (AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF).and after having to spend over two thirds of my summer worrying about "when is she gonna realize that i love HER and nobody else?" "Why does she keep questioning that i do love her?" "Why is she being so insecure about a PICTURE?"I talk to you about a week after you say you're ALMOST at the point where you can trust me (AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF) and this is after you've gone on through my gallery, found a poem i wrote about natalie and shelley in the 9th grade and decided "what the hell i'll post it", went through HER gallery and found that she wrote a poem a few days after mine was posted about a guy and tried to link it to us liking each other(IF ANYONE WAS CHEATING WHY WOULD THEY BE STUPID ENOUGH TO DO THAT ANYWAY)And even got on my deviant art page, used my password to sign on as me and check through my NOTES to see if theres anything there for proof of me cheating on you, found nothing, and still was bitch enough to start crying and tell me "I just wish i could find something to prove me wrong" THATS SOME FUCKIN' L.D. SHIT!!!! I GAVE YOU THE B.O.D. ON SOME SHIT THAT 99% OF MEN, BLACK,WHITE,OR WHATEVER WOULD BE LIKE "AWW HELL NAW,YOU KISSED THAT GUY! FUCK YOU, DONT CALL ME NO MORE!" BEFORE YOU COULD EVEN EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED, AND YOUO CANT BELIEVE THAT IM NOT CHEATING ON YOU.....IN AN ONLINE RELATIONSHIP....WITH A GIRL FROM CALIFORNIA!!! I broke up with you and told you you needed to be with somebody you trust (THE BREAKUP WASNT EVEN MEAN...SHIT) and what do you do?... YOU CALL MY MOTHAFUCKIN MOMMA AT 12:30AM LIKE A CRACKHEAD! AND WHAT DID YOU REALLY EXPECT HER TO DO?!... HMMM?... cause i know what i expected.. I expected her to beat the fuck outta me and nag for a week straight about how YOU called HER at 12midnight because WE broke up. but.. surprisingly she didnt say anything but it she did... you wouldnta heard the last of that shit! So im sleep deprived halfway because im afraid that at anyminute my mom will come in my room with a object and let the games begin and helfway because i just couldnt seem to get over how you couldnt trust me. and then 3or4days later, you get on the phone, make it clear to me that you dont want me to hangup... and then you start crying, tell me it hurts for you to breathe and start coughing up 4 or your ribs and throwin up your intestines. I cant take the bull anymore.. I tell you youve won and we're back together, and you tell me, "I didnt do that so you'd say yes..." and then you tell me you dont wanna get off the phone and you sound half dead! then i have to make you get off the phone with me by yelling at you for the 1st and only time i've ever done so. and then u still dont give me breathing space and by that time im pissed, and when u call me back after an hour, the 1st and pretty much ONLY thing you have to say to me is "So what do you think Anna's gonna think now that we're back together, since she was so happy we brokeup" WHAT THE FUCK! "how about what do YOU think?!" how about "I'll give you time to think about what you said you'd think about" And you actually say "i feel relieved" I WENT BACK AOUT WITH YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE! and there you are, happy as a puppy (and dont say you werent because that shit heald instantly and i knew that voice. not to mention i heard that giggle after you asked me what i think she'll think!)and im mad as a hornet.
I make a journal about it. saying EXACTLY what happend on the phone and at the end saying..."everyone is happy and Im...well who cares about me?" and i get comments saying, "IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!" yea..they kinda needed to be because nobdy "asked well are you happy? i care.."
well... that is... except one person.. and who but that ONE person of all the people who supposedly "CARED" about us as a whole and the whole situation that caused all the drama extended a hand and let me know they cared... ANNA! and you wonder why i enjoy talking to her more than you...
and you bitches had the nerve to attack her for defending me and saying... "if you felt that way, you shoulda said it yourself" when you females NEVER speak solo yourselves in the 1st place.
check 4 yourself if u wanna... http://darkchibiflame.deviantart.com/journal/9929697/
then after I say i agree with anna ppl wanna start bringin up "hes cheating on you with her.. break up with him hes not worth it" and Sams dumb ass says that im USING YOU... FOR YOUR BODY!!! U HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME! ITS NOT WORTH USING SOMEBOSY OVER... OR DID SHE NOT READ IN ANNAS TEXT TO ALYSSA "he's NOT attracted to her body" SHE WASNT LYING! and the reason i stayed with you when i wasnt attracted to your body was... i loved you!! so physical appearence wasnt everything... but enough was enough... i figured if im gonna be accused of it.. i might as well do it... you can thank Alyssa for me NOT doing what i figured... and i have to deal with texts that say "i know youre ignoring me" when i go to the bathroom and forget my phone and when my phone goes dead you have stuff planned to do with me without me actually saying "Ok... my moms not working that day... yea u can come over"
and after all this, we're friends with benefits and you still cry to me after demanding that i tell you how i feel and i tell u how i feel. so u get off my back and go to jessie... who told me for three days in a row that he was faking most of you twos conversation and how you were annoying... like I wanted to hear THAT... and you tell me you didnt do anything to me... that I BECAME CRUEL... enough is enough.
when i was with you, it was all about you... I had to read your mind and keep my own mind stable. and you didnt think about lifting a finger for anything I wanted, since we hit the one year point it slowly came out and was clear to me that you were selfish, lazy and a nag...
Now... THATS what you did to me.
so... whatever
fine...
since we must discuss my life story, here goes....
We agreed to always trust each other, a promise which i kept when u said u wanted to go to the movies with Reno.. and even when you came back from the movies that night and said... "it was alright that he kissed me on the cheek right" and even further to when u said, during the same conversation, trying to drag on what really happend "He kissed me on the lips!" What did I say to you? "I still love you, but i cant say im not mad..." and i blew it off in less than 30 minutes. But then... when you see that im doing something that I tried two different ways to do with you (more than twice and you didnt even put forth any effort at all) with somebody else, you freak out... call people, get my friend to talk about me behind my back... take your side, say I'm not being "a man" about it, and then If that werent enough... you try and monitor all my fuckin phonecalls by trying to stay on the phone with me 24/7 only to breathe and sigh the whole time & when i bring up topics they're something you're not interested in so u'd say "ok" and blow it off. but you'd get mad that we werent talking and call it my fault when you wouldnt put any effort into making a topic when YOU called ME!
So when i wanna get off the phone you say "mm" and when i say bye you say "mm" instead of "bye" and u did it on purpose because you know that Im not the type to hang up on people especially not the woman I love. so i'd stay on the phone until like 3am breathing and sleepy as hell and even then you'd still cry when i wanted off. and you knew i'd call you the next day if i wasnt busy. So then when i finally got enough courage to say "im going to sleep and if you dont say bye back to me, then oh well, i'll hang up anyway" you get all mad, complain to jessie and he calls me like "i didnt feel like hearin that shit," and in all actuality me niether, but i still heard the shit cuz it was the same thing, just not from your mouth. So, sooner or later I decided that I'd actually talk to some of my other friends who were calling me and i was ignoring who actually had something to say other than breathing and sighing and saying I miss you... seriously, i missed you too, but it gets old saying it for 3-4 hours striaght day after day after day... and when i started to go on the otherline.. you'd cry at me, and call jessie and cry at him about it... Not to mention everytime I'd say ok i'll call you back somebodys on the other line" you'd say "who" and then when i tell u ... u go "theyre more important than me?" So after I got tired of hearing that question i started asking you "why do u want to know? It doesnt matter, im still gettin off" so you'd call jessie like "Hes being mean to me and blah blah! And I KNOW who hes on the phone with! He should stop lieing to me and admit that hes cheating on me with her" yea... "cheating" on you... with a girl from California... which is not even phisically possible. just something u assume because u saw the result of something that takes two to make. (still reminding you that it coulda been with you) and then you tell me one day "I feel like all the time you spend with her, you should be spending with me" and then when you rephrase it after me saying "so i shouldnt spend ANY time with her... at all" you say "I mean, MOST of the time you spend with her you should be spending with me" and when i tell you "uh.. Susan.. you do even know how much time i spend with her... so how can you try to subtract most of the time i spend with a friend i cant see?" you get speachless. and when i try to tell you to calm down about the shit.. you get bratty and say "Its STUPID to be going out with someone whos doing that with someone!" and i swear to god if i didnt hurt my toungue biting it down so hard at that moment trying not to say "well then stop being stupid and go out with someone else" ...but no... I gave you even more generosity. so after hearing that it costs to date you, and that i was a god damn punk ass from your step father all on the day of your graduation party, I dont get time to cool off when i made it clear to u that Im upset right now and i need time to cool off... NO! Went in your ear and out the other, you only thought about what you wanted... so I was dragged in the pool. And the very next day we went right back to the same old mess that we went through like the party didnt even happen and thus you eventually started telling me that you didnt trust me and that u couldnt and that you were "TRYING" (AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF).and after having to spend over two thirds of my summer worrying about "when is she gonna realize that i love HER and nobody else?" "Why does she keep questioning that i do love her?" "Why is she being so insecure about a PICTURE?"I talk to you about a week after you say you're ALMOST at the point where you can trust me (AFTER A YEAR AND A HALF) and this is after you've gone on through my gallery, found a poem i wrote about natalie and shelley in the 9th grade and decided "what the hell i'll post it", went through HER gallery and found that she wrote a poem a few days after mine was posted about a guy and tried to link it to us liking each other(IF ANYONE WAS CHEATING WHY WOULD THEY BE STUPID ENOUGH TO DO THAT ANYWAY)And even got on my deviant art page, used my password to sign on as me and check through my NOTES to see if theres anything there for proof of me cheating on you, found nothing, and still was bitch enough to start crying and tell me "I just wish i could find something to prove me wrong" THATS SOME FUCKIN' L.D. SHIT!!!! I GAVE YOU THE B.O.D. ON SOME SHIT THAT 99% OF MEN, BLACK,WHITE,OR WHATEVER WOULD BE LIKE "AWW HELL NAW,YOU KISSED THAT GUY! FUCK YOU, DONT CALL ME NO MORE!" BEFORE YOU COULD EVEN EXPLAIN WHAT HAPPENED, AND YOUO CANT BELIEVE THAT IM NOT CHEATING ON YOU.....IN AN ONLINE RELATIONSHIP....WITH A GIRL FROM CALIFORNIA!!! I broke up with you and told you you needed to be with somebody you trust (THE BREAKUP WASNT EVEN MEAN...SHIT) and what do you do?... YOU CALL MY MOTHAFUCKIN MOMMA AT 12:30AM LIKE A CRACKHEAD! AND WHAT DID YOU REALLY EXPECT HER TO DO?!... HMMM?... cause i know what i expected.. I expected her to beat the fuck outta me and nag for a week straight about how YOU called HER at 12midnight because WE broke up. but.. surprisingly she didnt say anything but it she did... you wouldnta heard the last of that shit! So im sleep deprived halfway because im afraid that at anyminute my mom will come in my room with a object and let the games begin and helfway because i just couldnt seem to get over how you couldnt trust me. and then 3or4days later, you get on the phone, make it clear to me that you dont want me to hangup... and then you start crying, tell me it hurts for you to breathe and start coughing up 4 or your ribs and throwin up your intestines. I cant take the bull anymore.. I tell you youve won and we're back together, and you tell me, "I didnt do that so you'd say yes..." and then you tell me you dont wanna get off the phone and you sound half dead! then i have to make you get off the phone with me by yelling at you for the 1st and only time i've ever done so. and then u still dont give me breathing space and by that time im pissed, and when u call me back after an hour, the 1st and pretty much ONLY thing you have to say to me is "So what do you think Anna's gonna think now that we're back together, since she was so happy we brokeup" WHAT THE FUCK! "how about what do YOU think?!" how about "I'll give you time to think about what you said you'd think about" And you actually say "i feel relieved" I WENT BACK AOUT WITH YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE GOING TO DIE! and there you are, happy as a puppy (and dont say you werent because that shit heald instantly and i knew that voice. not to mention i heard that giggle after you asked me what i think she'll think!)and im mad as a hornet.
I make a journal about it. saying EXACTLY what happend on the phone and at the end saying..."everyone is happy and Im...well who cares about me?" and i get comments saying, "IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!" yea..they kinda needed to be because nobdy "asked well are you happy? i care.."
well... that is... except one person.. and who but that ONE person of all the people who supposedly "CARED" about us as a whole and the whole situation that caused all the drama extended a hand and let me know they cared... ANNA! and you wonder why i enjoy talking to her more than you...
and you bitches had the nerve to attack her for defending me and saying... "if you felt that way, you shoulda said it yourself" when you females NEVER speak solo yourselves in the 1st place.
check 4 yourself if u wanna... http://darkchibiflame.deviantart.com/journal/9929697/
then after I say i agree with anna ppl wanna start bringin up "hes cheating on you with her.. break up with him hes not worth it" and Sams dumb ass says that im USING YOU... FOR YOUR BODY!!! U HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME! ITS NOT WORTH USING SOMEBOSY OVER... OR DID SHE NOT READ IN ANNAS TEXT TO ALYSSA "he's NOT attracted to her body" SHE WASNT LYING! and the reason i stayed with you when i wasnt attracted to your body was... i loved you!! so physical appearence wasnt everything... but enough was enough... i figured if im gonna be accused of it.. i might as well do it... you can thank Alyssa for me NOT doing what i figured... and i have to deal with texts that say "i know youre ignoring me" when i go to the bathroom and forget my phone and when my phone goes dead you have stuff planned to do with me without me actually saying "Ok... my moms not working that day... yea u can come over"
and after all this, we're friends with benefits and you still cry to me after demanding that i tell you how i feel and i tell u how i feel. so u get off my back and go to jessie... who told me for three days in a row that he was faking most of you twos conversation and how you were annoying... like I wanted to hear THAT... and you tell me you didnt do anything to me... that I BECAME CRUEL... enough is enough.
when i was with you, it was all about you... I had to read your mind and keep my own mind stable. and you didnt think about lifting a finger for anything I wanted, since we hit the one year point it slowly came out and was clear to me that you were selfish, lazy and a nag...
Now... THATS what you did to me.