finally
I haven't posted in forever! geez well my braces are gone forever! but now i have a retainer stupid piece of shit gives me a lisp too! anywho I got my sticthes out thats all cool healing well. turned 16 oh yea! Getting my permit starting the 21st hopefully. School has decided to give me a 4 hour dhall from the fucking fall semester! God i swear are the stupid or just morons? Life sucks summer is boring i feel like i'm surrounded by nothing lonely don't see anybody during the day i haven't been out in awhile. Problems with parents espically mom. Long story short she basically threw spaghetti sauce on herself, boiling hot spaghetti sauce burnt herself got picked up by the police went to hospital.
Was extremely drunk for like 3 weeks in a row. Fell out of her bed and has bruises and now she is sober and getting stuff in the mail about battered women! I love my mom but she can be a moron. Wizard of Oz went well except i swear brandon kept touching my butt! ugh nasty skinny dancer boy! Travis came back from kirov! My he has grown, he is really cute now realy really cute. Never going to happen so anyways. At the moment i don't feel very loved should i feel loved am i loved? I think my dad loves me, i don't know about my mom, my grandma tells me all the time she loves me. And my brother has been running to me and hugging me and not letting me go an awful lot. I think he misses me not being where he is all the time. I do miss him too. I get all teary eyed when i see movies about love in families and with couples and friends. I saw my old best friend anna the other day she looked so happy to see me and she wants to hang out but she has faded to the dark side it seems. Stupid drugs and alchol always take everything away from me. Am I being selfish? or caring? I feel alone in this world like nobody wants to help me but i'm not exactly sure what i want help with. so how can somebody help me? found this great poem online today here it is
If leaves were cuddles I'd give you a tree, if raindrops were kisses I'd give you a sea. If love was a second I'd give you infinity, if you need a friend remember you'll always have me.
Isn't that a great poem? I thought it was really touching really. I haven't been able to sleep lately, even thought I know I need it. I just feel so feel so empty and I swear if someone could walk inside me and say hello there would be an echo. I need to get away from here, from this place away from everybody, but we don't have any money to go on vacation, and if we did i would still be surrounded by people. Then again I fear that if i do get alone I'll do something stupid. There is a bug on my computer I guess i need to try to sleep gnight.
Was extremely drunk for like 3 weeks in a row. Fell out of her bed and has bruises and now she is sober and getting stuff in the mail about battered women! I love my mom but she can be a moron. Wizard of Oz went well except i swear brandon kept touching my butt! ugh nasty skinny dancer boy! Travis came back from kirov! My he has grown, he is really cute now realy really cute. Never going to happen so anyways. At the moment i don't feel very loved should i feel loved am i loved? I think my dad loves me, i don't know about my mom, my grandma tells me all the time she loves me. And my brother has been running to me and hugging me and not letting me go an awful lot. I think he misses me not being where he is all the time. I do miss him too. I get all teary eyed when i see movies about love in families and with couples and friends. I saw my old best friend anna the other day she looked so happy to see me and she wants to hang out but she has faded to the dark side it seems. Stupid drugs and alchol always take everything away from me. Am I being selfish? or caring? I feel alone in this world like nobody wants to help me but i'm not exactly sure what i want help with. so how can somebody help me? found this great poem online today here it is
If leaves were cuddles I'd give you a tree, if raindrops were kisses I'd give you a sea. If love was a second I'd give you infinity, if you need a friend remember you'll always have me.
Isn't that a great poem? I thought it was really touching really. I haven't been able to sleep lately, even thought I know I need it. I just feel so feel so empty and I swear if someone could walk inside me and say hello there would be an echo. I need to get away from here, from this place away from everybody, but we don't have any money to go on vacation, and if we did i would still be surrounded by people. Then again I fear that if i do get alone I'll do something stupid. There is a bug on my computer I guess i need to try to sleep gnight.