Barren wasteland?
Does anyone even use livejournal anymore?! If so, you should comment.
I think I'm going to start using it again, partly because I think no one is on here anymore. But also partly because I don't feel close to anyone anymore and I still need somewhere to rant. I mean, I still feel close to people, but everything is different now. It's a different kind of close. I don't feel like I can tell anyone all of my crazy and irrational thoughts and fears anymore. We're all adults now, and supposedly, we're to have gotten our acts together by now. Or at least make it seem that way. But my life feels like it's a mess. A giant mess. And I can't tell anyone that anymore... Which is why I'm saying it here, because I don't think anyone is here anymore. So, if you are still here and reading this, congratulations! You get to hear all of my whining and complaining and listen to my paranoid rantings! Doesn't that sound like fun? And let's be honest, I'll really only use this for bad, negative things. My relationship with livejournal will be like the general population's relationship with God; I'll forget it's here until I have some sad, angry, mopey, depressed, whiny or bitter thing to say, and I'll rarely remember to post anything good.
Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I didn't care what people thought of me. At the same time, though, I wouldn't let just anyone in to my little circle of trust. And now, I seem to care what everyone thinks about me, but the trust thing hasn't changed. I have retreated further inward, and now even fewer people are let in. And if you're not already in, you can plan on having a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long wait to be let in. I used to be optimistic about life. And now, not so much. I really dislike my life right now, and it's been that way for a very long time. I feel trapped, in a lot of different ways, and I don't really see myself getting out. Things used to be so different.
What happened to me?
On a completely unrelated note, something in the office is making me break out in hives. I'm getting really irritated.
"Nothing I am
Nothing I dream
Nothing is new
Nothing I think or believe in or say
Nothing is true
It used to be so easy
I never even tried
Yeah, it used to be so easy...
But the last day of summer never felt so cold
The last day of summer never felt so old
Never felt so...
All that I have
All that I hold
All that is wrong
All that I feel for or trust in or love
All that is gone
It used to be so easy
I never even tried
Yeah, it used to be so easy...
But the last day of summer never felt so cold
The last day of summer never felt so old
The last day of summer never felt so cold
Never felt so..."
-"The Last Day of Summer"
The Cure
I think I'm going to start using it again, partly because I think no one is on here anymore. But also partly because I don't feel close to anyone anymore and I still need somewhere to rant. I mean, I still feel close to people, but everything is different now. It's a different kind of close. I don't feel like I can tell anyone all of my crazy and irrational thoughts and fears anymore. We're all adults now, and supposedly, we're to have gotten our acts together by now. Or at least make it seem that way. But my life feels like it's a mess. A giant mess. And I can't tell anyone that anymore... Which is why I'm saying it here, because I don't think anyone is here anymore. So, if you are still here and reading this, congratulations! You get to hear all of my whining and complaining and listen to my paranoid rantings! Doesn't that sound like fun? And let's be honest, I'll really only use this for bad, negative things. My relationship with livejournal will be like the general population's relationship with God; I'll forget it's here until I have some sad, angry, mopey, depressed, whiny or bitter thing to say, and I'll rarely remember to post anything good.
Believe it or not, there was a time in my life when I didn't care what people thought of me. At the same time, though, I wouldn't let just anyone in to my little circle of trust. And now, I seem to care what everyone thinks about me, but the trust thing hasn't changed. I have retreated further inward, and now even fewer people are let in. And if you're not already in, you can plan on having a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very long wait to be let in. I used to be optimistic about life. And now, not so much. I really dislike my life right now, and it's been that way for a very long time. I feel trapped, in a lot of different ways, and I don't really see myself getting out. Things used to be so different.
What happened to me?
On a completely unrelated note, something in the office is making me break out in hives. I'm getting really irritated.
"Nothing I am
Nothing I dream
Nothing is new
Nothing I think or believe in or say
Nothing is true
It used to be so easy
I never even tried
Yeah, it used to be so easy...
But the last day of summer never felt so cold
The last day of summer never felt so old
Never felt so...
All that I have
All that I hold
All that is wrong
All that I feel for or trust in or love
All that is gone
It used to be so easy
I never even tried
Yeah, it used to be so easy...
But the last day of summer never felt so cold
The last day of summer never felt so old
The last day of summer never felt so cold
Never felt so..."
-"The Last Day of Summer"
The Cure