(no subject)
night closes in, now
while the daylight still resides.
everything spinning
in the red light of a living nightmare
my life, now.
the spiritaul realm
is more or less
the dark realm.
lying in bed
lying in fear
the darkness envelopes my body
lifting me off the bed.
hands crawling down my throat
fingers clutching my mouth
makes it impossible to scream.
my body is limp,
I'm losing the incentive to fight it now.
if only I knew
you hadn't wanted to do this.
if only I knew
what I saw was real,
in the dreams.
if only I knew
why the most real thing to me
was thrown in my face as nothing but ideas in my head.
the one thing I was sure of
to never let me down
dropped me so hard
I was left
paralyzed in fear and confusion.
the day is coming.
I cannot fight it.
I'm sorry I didn't handle this right
but without a heart, without everything I thought was real
I am nothing but an empty soul
living in a made up world.
And I cannot "pretend" anymore.