(no subject)
Alright, officially went to all my three free sessions and while I do not feel confident the therapist I was paired up with was the right person for me, it was sort of nice to get 45 minutes once a week where I could just vent and not feel like person on the other side of the room was going to yell at me to shut up.
Mostly, what the three sessions proved to me was that my sense of self-worth seems to be the root cause of many of my issues. I put others before myself and hence do a bad job taking care of myself because there's a lack of self-worthiness. I compare myself to other people and get jealous of their lives because I don't think mine is always great. I get sensitive to words like humblebrag or the idea of people disliking me because I am not confident I like myself all too often.
It's weird typing the above paragraph out, even. On paper, there's a lot about me to like, but in real life I can't seem to see it clearly. The internet makes it easy for people to feel inadequate, and its cynicisms downplays real accomplishments - no matter the size.
I think I've always known this about me. Now I just have to figure out why it is that I came to develop that way, and what I can do to feel better about it without having to resort to writing positive mantras about myself. I was put on this exercise once and it made me so unbelievably uncomfortable. But I guess help is not supposed to always feel natural.
Mostly, what the three sessions proved to me was that my sense of self-worth seems to be the root cause of many of my issues. I put others before myself and hence do a bad job taking care of myself because there's a lack of self-worthiness. I compare myself to other people and get jealous of their lives because I don't think mine is always great. I get sensitive to words like humblebrag or the idea of people disliking me because I am not confident I like myself all too often.
It's weird typing the above paragraph out, even. On paper, there's a lot about me to like, but in real life I can't seem to see it clearly. The internet makes it easy for people to feel inadequate, and its cynicisms downplays real accomplishments - no matter the size.
I think I've always known this about me. Now I just have to figure out why it is that I came to develop that way, and what I can do to feel better about it without having to resort to writing positive mantras about myself. I was put on this exercise once and it made me so unbelievably uncomfortable. But I guess help is not supposed to always feel natural.