(no subject)
I guess it's time to write some sort of update to prove I'm still alive.
Well, I'm currently in Florida, visiting my parents for my winter break. It is so boring I may be forced to kill myself. My mother and I took a road trip to Tampa last week to see my grandmother and aunt. The second question they asked after ones about law school were about boyfriends. Why does having a boyfriend measure how I'm doing? Why does the answer 'no' compel them to sympathize with my situation? Having a relationship is not a barometer of how my life is going, nor should it be. I live in a great city, go to a good school, and have made some fabulous friends - not having a boyfriend doesn't take away from any of those things, yet to my Southern-style family, it does.
Most of the women in my family are married at this point in their lives, most of the women in my family don't bother furthering their education after their bachelor's degrees. This is not to say that doing those things somehow places you in a bad position. The feminist movement is all about doing what you want to do - even if it means getting your M.R.S. and being a house wife. However, to fault a woman who does not choose this path or to make her feel inferior is not acceptable. I don't even think it's done on purpose, it's just what is the status quo for my family - undergraduate with a boyfriend you marry once you graduate. My mother strayed a bit from this path and spent two years on her own before marrying my father, but this year I'll be the age she was when she married so my relatives are beginning to get antsy. Add to that that I don't even have a boyfriend and they have nothing to talk to me about.
Unfortunately for them, I'm stubborn and insist on being difficult just because I don't want to be like them. Many of my friends have already followed this path and several more will this year. I don't plan to ever follow this path, which will probably blow their minds. I want to depend entirely on myself and see a man in my life as a secondary goal. Yes, it is a goal. But it isn't something I'm dying for.
So, my ultimate message to women in similar positions to me is to keep pushing. Don't let them make you think you're the only one. This is advice I should take, as my family makes me feel this way frequently.
Well, I'm currently in Florida, visiting my parents for my winter break. It is so boring I may be forced to kill myself. My mother and I took a road trip to Tampa last week to see my grandmother and aunt. The second question they asked after ones about law school were about boyfriends. Why does having a boyfriend measure how I'm doing? Why does the answer 'no' compel them to sympathize with my situation? Having a relationship is not a barometer of how my life is going, nor should it be. I live in a great city, go to a good school, and have made some fabulous friends - not having a boyfriend doesn't take away from any of those things, yet to my Southern-style family, it does.
Most of the women in my family are married at this point in their lives, most of the women in my family don't bother furthering their education after their bachelor's degrees. This is not to say that doing those things somehow places you in a bad position. The feminist movement is all about doing what you want to do - even if it means getting your M.R.S. and being a house wife. However, to fault a woman who does not choose this path or to make her feel inferior is not acceptable. I don't even think it's done on purpose, it's just what is the status quo for my family - undergraduate with a boyfriend you marry once you graduate. My mother strayed a bit from this path and spent two years on her own before marrying my father, but this year I'll be the age she was when she married so my relatives are beginning to get antsy. Add to that that I don't even have a boyfriend and they have nothing to talk to me about.
Unfortunately for them, I'm stubborn and insist on being difficult just because I don't want to be like them. Many of my friends have already followed this path and several more will this year. I don't plan to ever follow this path, which will probably blow their minds. I want to depend entirely on myself and see a man in my life as a secondary goal. Yes, it is a goal. But it isn't something I'm dying for.
So, my ultimate message to women in similar positions to me is to keep pushing. Don't let them make you think you're the only one. This is advice I should take, as my family makes me feel this way frequently.