confusion.
My perspective is all out of whack. I'm currently in a war with my mind and it's over my sanity. I can't for the life of me figure out how to view this thing. Part of me is saying, "Just view it as your home away from home; don't try to make it so detached." But then the other side is telling me to get there, get used to it, and get the fuck over it. I think I know this feeling, but, it's never been this severe before. I scare myself. I hear girls giggling outside the hall and I get fucking anxious thinking "Oh shit, should I be with them?" It makes little to no sense. I had a really great day yesterday but the weird is beginning to return to my body. Having absolutely nothing to do in a foreign place rings uncomfortable to me. However, I'm probably just being dramatic. Stranger things have happened! My inferiority complex is also at an all time high...I've never been anywhere with so many talented people in my entire life. I still can't believe I got in. The president of the school, Robert Sirota, actually made a speach during one of the several orientation meetings we had to go to yesterday about that very topic. He regaled us with a story of his freshman orientation at his conservatory and, that the whole time he was shaking in his boots waiting to be discovered as less talented or qualified than another. But then he said something comforting. He said that everyone of us was here for a reason and, that they didn't pick anyone incapable of becoming great. I just can't wait to get truly comfortable so I can stop all of this anxiety driven bullshit.