don't ever read livejournals from like a year or more ago
i just did- well then i read a comment and i knew who it was from.
i literally felt my heart pop and i heard a thud outside of my body.
crazyness.
am i the only one staying sane these days? like loosing it but staying together really, at the same time?
walking around with a smile on- but not smiling at all.
so i got a letter from Joe today- its said
: dont be upset with me with what im about to say because i dont know if its the right words,but im afraid that if u leave me, lynzie will end up doing everything she can to get me back and im afraid that ill be so vulnerable i would give in. and you have a power over me far more than her, but if u leave me, i wouldnt be strong enough. so please stay
ok how does that make me wanna stay?
im starting to feel lately like he doesnt know me and isnt taking the time to know me. (this is besided that ^) but i was talking about coloring my hair when i start working and he was just like, why r u trying to chnage yourself your fine, r u doing it for just you?
if u know me, u know i start to color my hair when i get bored with it and eventually i go back to normal when i feel girly. but lately i have had that punk blood running through me again.
gages, hair colors, STYLE, w/e.
well in response to his letter i just underlined that shit he said in black fat marker and sent it back to him.
i wrote that i was hurt and upset- that i was confused and didnt want to be second, that its nice he has a back up plan or feelings for her still.
i think maybe he was being too honest to me or something- but even if he was, maybe it was gods way of telling me look out.
cuz he WROTE that, and when we visited he said that he said some stuff in my letter about how much he needs me, he needs me and cant live without me, and he knew that shit about her was in it- so why didnt he bring it up then......
thats like me saying- o just so u know if matt comes back i will leave you for him cuz i am too weak or if u leave me i will run to matt and beg for him back and i know he will take me back
well i just got a surprise that lacey is coming over to keep me company. more bitching and more negativity, wooo!
not
i literally felt my heart pop and i heard a thud outside of my body.
crazyness.
am i the only one staying sane these days? like loosing it but staying together really, at the same time?
walking around with a smile on- but not smiling at all.
so i got a letter from Joe today- its said
: dont be upset with me with what im about to say because i dont know if its the right words,but im afraid that if u leave me, lynzie will end up doing everything she can to get me back and im afraid that ill be so vulnerable i would give in. and you have a power over me far more than her, but if u leave me, i wouldnt be strong enough. so please stay
ok how does that make me wanna stay?
im starting to feel lately like he doesnt know me and isnt taking the time to know me. (this is besided that ^) but i was talking about coloring my hair when i start working and he was just like, why r u trying to chnage yourself your fine, r u doing it for just you?
if u know me, u know i start to color my hair when i get bored with it and eventually i go back to normal when i feel girly. but lately i have had that punk blood running through me again.
gages, hair colors, STYLE, w/e.
well in response to his letter i just underlined that shit he said in black fat marker and sent it back to him.
i wrote that i was hurt and upset- that i was confused and didnt want to be second, that its nice he has a back up plan or feelings for her still.
i think maybe he was being too honest to me or something- but even if he was, maybe it was gods way of telling me look out.
cuz he WROTE that, and when we visited he said that he said some stuff in my letter about how much he needs me, he needs me and cant live without me, and he knew that shit about her was in it- so why didnt he bring it up then......
thats like me saying- o just so u know if matt comes back i will leave you for him cuz i am too weak or if u leave me i will run to matt and beg for him back and i know he will take me back
well i just got a surprise that lacey is coming over to keep me company. more bitching and more negativity, wooo!
not