I hate where I am.
You know... having no money really puts a strain on A LOT of things. Health, relationships, everything. Seriously. I haven't been too social lately because it seems like even leaving the house costs money... and all my free time at home has been devoted to keeping everything clean enough so Dave's mom doesn't bitch or worrying about bills.
This week I was told by my doctor to take off from work because of my back. (last two vertebra in my back are out of place, the last one is cracked, slipped discs and the physical therapy is just as painful) If we didn't have to pay this DAMN RENT every DAMN WEEK and maybe just paid a lump sum at the end of the month, there wouldn't have been an issue with me taking off... buuut since we have to pay each week, we're screwed. I can't pay bills/credit cards, the cards are MAXED out basically and we have $300 in the bank, $100 of which is paying for car insurance in two days... and we owe Dave's mom $250. We could probably scrape up the $50... but that leaves NO money in the bank for 5+ days... and I KNOW something is going to get automatically withdrawn and COMPLETELY fuck us over.
Oh yeah, and no place I've applied at for a job is calling me. I've even changed my availability for them all. Still nothing. I'm hanging on the whim of one place, but they're taking their damn time. I'm down to maybe $70 a week at Curves, and my physical therapy costs about $50 a week. The other $20 of that MAYBE pays for gas. We're now $150 a week short from where we need to be and THOUGHT we would be when moving back here. I can't deal with this. I'm close to going to GCCC, seeing if they'll accept me for collage, and getting a damn education grant. I read that some even pay for living expenses while going to school with money up front as well. I need to pay off my debt to go to school, so I'll use the grant money to do that AND pay for collage... If only I knew what I wanted to FUCKING study at community collage... Their courses are shit... then again there are grants for people like me just to live... but I have NO idea who to talk to about applying for those kind... and all the online things I find charge more money than it's worth and more than I have...
I'm dead tired today. The days I have therapy I have to wake up with Dave (5am) and drive him to work so I can have the car for my 11:45am appointments... By the time I get home from the 30minute drive it takes me, if I'm lucky, two hours to get to sleep. Today I can't GO to sleep because I have to wait for siding guys to come and I have to give them a check for Dave's mom because they're "out" today.
I'm really going crazy. I'm really close to looking through stuff to sell at a pawn shop...
All these people winning millions and these assholes who have cake jobs that pay +$80,000 a year really piss me off. $10,000. That would solve ALL my problems. I don't CARE if I have to work for it... but please, I'd like to make more than $8,000 a YEAR.
I really am close to the edge.
This week I was told by my doctor to take off from work because of my back. (last two vertebra in my back are out of place, the last one is cracked, slipped discs and the physical therapy is just as painful) If we didn't have to pay this DAMN RENT every DAMN WEEK and maybe just paid a lump sum at the end of the month, there wouldn't have been an issue with me taking off... buuut since we have to pay each week, we're screwed. I can't pay bills/credit cards, the cards are MAXED out basically and we have $300 in the bank, $100 of which is paying for car insurance in two days... and we owe Dave's mom $250. We could probably scrape up the $50... but that leaves NO money in the bank for 5+ days... and I KNOW something is going to get automatically withdrawn and COMPLETELY fuck us over.
Oh yeah, and no place I've applied at for a job is calling me. I've even changed my availability for them all. Still nothing. I'm hanging on the whim of one place, but they're taking their damn time. I'm down to maybe $70 a week at Curves, and my physical therapy costs about $50 a week. The other $20 of that MAYBE pays for gas. We're now $150 a week short from where we need to be and THOUGHT we would be when moving back here. I can't deal with this. I'm close to going to GCCC, seeing if they'll accept me for collage, and getting a damn education grant. I read that some even pay for living expenses while going to school with money up front as well. I need to pay off my debt to go to school, so I'll use the grant money to do that AND pay for collage... If only I knew what I wanted to FUCKING study at community collage... Their courses are shit... then again there are grants for people like me just to live... but I have NO idea who to talk to about applying for those kind... and all the online things I find charge more money than it's worth and more than I have...
I'm dead tired today. The days I have therapy I have to wake up with Dave (5am) and drive him to work so I can have the car for my 11:45am appointments... By the time I get home from the 30minute drive it takes me, if I'm lucky, two hours to get to sleep. Today I can't GO to sleep because I have to wait for siding guys to come and I have to give them a check for Dave's mom because they're "out" today.
I'm really going crazy. I'm really close to looking through stuff to sell at a pawn shop...
All these people winning millions and these assholes who have cake jobs that pay +$80,000 a year really piss me off. $10,000. That would solve ALL my problems. I don't CARE if I have to work for it... but please, I'd like to make more than $8,000 a YEAR.
I really am close to the edge.