Run to the water... and find me there... burnt to the core but not broken
So the foundations of the plans for my life keep changing and I am so not ok with it. I thought I had everything figured out I was going to go to school and work this job overnight that would pay me to sleep at a group home and then I would work retail during the day which would work around my school schedule. Sure the pay would be shit but I would be able to work and go to school. I had accepted the fact that none of the jobs I really wanted wanted me. Then out of the freaking blue and over two weeks after I had interviewed the Red Cross called me back and said they did want me to come work for them. AFTER I had accepted other jobs and had moved on from their what I thought was rejection. This would not have been such a big problem if it did not require me to change my life plans again. New plan is now to work for the Red Cross (which is the job I really wanted from the begining because they will pay for my nursing school) for a year and put off nursing school for a year until they will pay for it. I am so worried about screwing something up. I wanted this job more than anything. It is good pay good hours and a lot of overtime at my fingertips and it is the begining of my career. If I became a Red Cross nurse I would be so happy... I feel like this is a little bit fate because my Grandma was a Red Cross nurse and all so I feel like I was meant to go in this direction. I know this is my calling and this is where I was meant to be but I am still so scared to do anything to mess things up. I chanted about things and know I am doing the right thing I guess there is nothing left to do now but breathe.....