its been a long time since i gave a real update....
I know no one reads this but I need to vent and feel alive again. Lately I have been so utterly dissatisfied with my life. I really shouldnt I mean I have a job I am doing well in school I have a great boyfriend and a great apartment. I am so fed up with my job though. Its not the pay or the coworkers or the customers. Its the sheer monotony of sitting on my ass and doing the exact same thing over and over and over taking 40-70 calls or more a day... I just want to pull an office space and just not come in and not give a shit. I promised Bob that I would stick this out until Dec but as soon as school is over for the semester I am done with RCN if I can find a job that will pay as much. I know that its not good for me to change jobs again but I come home crying and just so chronically stressed/upset about this. I miss retail I miss working face to face with people but I cant afford a paycut right now... Im to the point where I get nauseous even thinking about coming to work. I know Im slacking off because I cant force myself to pretend and give a fuck about this place anymore. I tried convincing myself that I like what Im doing Ive successfully convinced others too. But I just cant keep up the facade anymore. I feel so stuck in the life that Im in and that is terrifying. I just dont know what to do anymore...