(no subject)
well my aunt passed away.....we have to drive to cape cod, mass:( i feel okies b/c i know for a fact that all things happen for a reason.through this i hope to jesus that our family gets closer....i get to see my whole family like all of them,,,,,
in this life let the love flow.......i've learned that people will always let you down....but not jesus.....when my mother pasted away......my family was there yes....but who was there for my broken heart and my faded soul? god!
he is always he for.....he loves me no matter what i am or what i do.......if you love something wouldn't you do anything in your power to be there for it...?.>>>>>this is what i havecome to know about myself when i want i love god.....but when i'm going through that the whole time he loves me.....i don't care what this world thinks.....if there wasn't a god i would have died....when i took those pills, when i did those drugs and when i drank my brain out to the point....where i didn't even know what i did or what i was doing.....this life is beyound that for me........i was meant to live for so much more.......i use to rise and fall for "pot"....that was my main drug not too long ago.....but after i began to know god......for myself and my life i wanted more for myself...i'm not gonna lie in the begining.....all i wanted to do was smoke pot and do whatever drug you put in front of my face......but now i don'rt want that for me....thats not who i am.....i don't want to be defined by what i put in my body...through jesus and the love i feel from him.....i learned how RESPECT....myself.......i still have a long way to go .....but i am sooooo thankful for what i been through in my life.if i didn't go through all of those things i might not...be the tammy rae that i am right now.......you know what i know for a fact i wouldn't........i'm done i'm sooooooo tired of trying to help people that don't wanna be helped......afetr being with brittney for almost 3 yrs........i have come to learn that we as people can't change others.......they have to wanna change for the better on their own time.......that one of the things brittney marie taylor taught me is to live for what you believe and not kill yourself to help others that don't wanna be helped.......mmmm water is good.......sorry off topic...lol.....but yeah this life is far too short to try and kill yourself for this world and the people you care bout that don't wanna change to hepl their selfes....yeah if ya couldn't tell i'm very much venting at the moment....sometimes yeah have to.......but its very true......i tired to be there for my own mother.......she was too far gone to even want help.......all i can do is give it to god....meaning pray to jesus to help them.......i always wanna help people and i make myself so upset about things....but i can't do that any more.......
the day my mother died and seed fell into my soul......and over time and still know i look back and see that it was god placing his light inside of me.....it was crazy when she died.....the very day she died i felt something cry into me.......now that i looked back i felt god cry for my lost heart.....thats why i love god so much b/c of all the things he has ever done for me and all the things and people he puts in my life..........every single person in my life righht now i feel like is there for a reason......i can't help but to express this llove i have for god......and theres so many people i care about i try to explain to them,.........what it feels like.......to not life for this world anymore and live for something that can help you with anything.thats lord god.......i know i know i'm talking about god alot alot ......but i feel great that i can do it freely ....in other parts of the world......people can't worship who they want....i am thankful that i can.i can't help but to smile even when my heart breaks....b/c i know deep within my self that god is there........i always think about what heavn would be like....when i see jesus...like what would i do....will i be able to say anything?will i be so happy that not even happy tears will fall from my eyes....these are things i think about all of the time.........i love you all.....i'll be back from this tuesday...............
i can't help but to share my love for jesus to the world....i won't sleep ........i want to go huge a tree:)
theres this girl i know.......her eyes are as green as the earth and her heart ......as beautiful as the stars ..........
i can't hep but to seee what lives inside of her.......i fear that this world will eat her up....from all the bright colors that meet the eye....all i can do is pray that she knows how much she is loved.her face is now and always in my mind.....her smile dances around my veins......i call her panda bear......i wish she could once feel pure truth rain
in this life let the love flow.......i've learned that people will always let you down....but not jesus.....when my mother pasted away......my family was there yes....but who was there for my broken heart and my faded soul? god!
he is always he for.....he loves me no matter what i am or what i do.......if you love something wouldn't you do anything in your power to be there for it...?.>>>>>this is what i havecome to know about myself when i want i love god.....but when i'm going through that the whole time he loves me.....i don't care what this world thinks.....if there wasn't a god i would have died....when i took those pills, when i did those drugs and when i drank my brain out to the point....where i didn't even know what i did or what i was doing.....this life is beyound that for me........i was meant to live for so much more.......i use to rise and fall for "pot"....that was my main drug not too long ago.....but after i began to know god......for myself and my life i wanted more for myself...i'm not gonna lie in the begining.....all i wanted to do was smoke pot and do whatever drug you put in front of my face......but now i don'rt want that for me....thats not who i am.....i don't want to be defined by what i put in my body...through jesus and the love i feel from him.....i learned how RESPECT....myself.......i still have a long way to go .....but i am sooooo thankful for what i been through in my life.if i didn't go through all of those things i might not...be the tammy rae that i am right now.......you know what i know for a fact i wouldn't........i'm done i'm sooooooo tired of trying to help people that don't wanna be helped......afetr being with brittney for almost 3 yrs........i have come to learn that we as people can't change others.......they have to wanna change for the better on their own time.......that one of the things brittney marie taylor taught me is to live for what you believe and not kill yourself to help others that don't wanna be helped.......mmmm water is good.......sorry off topic...lol.....but yeah this life is far too short to try and kill yourself for this world and the people you care bout that don't wanna change to hepl their selfes....yeah if ya couldn't tell i'm very much venting at the moment....sometimes yeah have to.......but its very true......i tired to be there for my own mother.......she was too far gone to even want help.......all i can do is give it to god....meaning pray to jesus to help them.......i always wanna help people and i make myself so upset about things....but i can't do that any more.......
the day my mother died and seed fell into my soul......and over time and still know i look back and see that it was god placing his light inside of me.....it was crazy when she died.....the very day she died i felt something cry into me.......now that i looked back i felt god cry for my lost heart.....thats why i love god so much b/c of all the things he has ever done for me and all the things and people he puts in my life..........every single person in my life righht now i feel like is there for a reason......i can't help but to express this llove i have for god......and theres so many people i care about i try to explain to them,.........what it feels like.......to not life for this world anymore and live for something that can help you with anything.thats lord god.......i know i know i'm talking about god alot alot ......but i feel great that i can do it freely ....in other parts of the world......people can't worship who they want....i am thankful that i can.i can't help but to smile even when my heart breaks....b/c i know deep within my self that god is there........i always think about what heavn would be like....when i see jesus...like what would i do....will i be able to say anything?will i be so happy that not even happy tears will fall from my eyes....these are things i think about all of the time.........i love you all.....i'll be back from this tuesday...............
i can't help but to share my love for jesus to the world....i won't sleep ........i want to go huge a tree:)
theres this girl i know.......her eyes are as green as the earth and her heart ......as beautiful as the stars ..........
i can't hep but to seee what lives inside of her.......i fear that this world will eat her up....from all the bright colors that meet the eye....all i can do is pray that she knows how much she is loved.her face is now and always in my mind.....her smile dances around my veins......i call her panda bear......i wish she could once feel pure truth rain