My March 2011 Update
I figured I'd update my journal a little bit, since I haven't in a while. I've been doing really well. I finally went to see a psychiatrist at the end of last year and was diagnosed as having major depressive disorder and anxiety. They put me on medication for the depression, which was my focus for concern, and it's been working great. I also started going to support groups, which I've come to enjoy a lot. I'm working on changing my thought patterns to help with my anxiety. I tend to be very hard on myself, so I've been trying to relax more. I feel so much better now than I have for years and years and years. I don't feel depressed, empty, lonely, hopeless, guilty, and all that all the time anymore. I feel normal, and I love it.
I decided not to go to graduate school. I feel like I wanted to go for the wrong reasons, and I don't want to keep pushing myself so much. I'm currently looking for a career and am focusing on myself and my newer goals. My relationship has been great too. I didn't realize how much I got upset easily and for prolonged periods until the medication changed it. It's easier for me to get past things that upset me. I deal a lot better with stress and find that it's so much easier to be assertive, so that's help to dramatically reduces our arguments. It's also helped me be more assertive at my internship and with other people I come in contact with. My boyfriend and I have also been going for walks more, and more recently brisk walks. It's very relaxing and enjoyable. I like the scenery, fresh air, exercise, and talking.
I've also been socializing a little more. I've been hanging out with other people who have mental illnesses and it's such a relief to not feel alone and to know other people are going through the same things. It's also a release to be able to be open and talk to others about what I've been through and to have them actually understand. I feel so much better about my life. It still kind of blows my mind, because I never feel like this during the winter. My depression always kicked in to it's worst over the winter months, but I haven't felt depressed since I got the dosage right on my medication. It gives me so much to look forward to in the future. I feel a little more tired now, especially the week after my period, but I'm planning to start taking vitamin B12 to see if that helps.
I should also mention that my female sugar glider died about two weeks ago from diabetes. I was really upset. I spent a lot of money trying to save her, but there wasn't much the vets could do especially since they couldn't find literature on diabetes in sugar gliders. I think the testing might have actually sped up her death, but I didn't know that was a risk until afterward. I think it was inevitable though. The vets sent me a handwritten sympathy card, which was nice. My male glider was fine. I'm thinking that her's was probably either hereditary or that it started developing from the improper diet combined with the previous pregnancies she had with her previous owners. It could have also been from her inactivity, since she wasn't very active and was overweight at one point. I don't know if that was a cause or symptom though. It just wasn't something I expected. I feel better knowing she's at peace now though. I was worried about my male glider, since they are very social creatures and can get depressed; so, I recently found a couple of female cagemates for him. I have to wait at least a month to introduce them, but I think they'll get along great.
Anyway, I guess that's enough of an update for now. I hope everyone's doing well! :)
I decided not to go to graduate school. I feel like I wanted to go for the wrong reasons, and I don't want to keep pushing myself so much. I'm currently looking for a career and am focusing on myself and my newer goals. My relationship has been great too. I didn't realize how much I got upset easily and for prolonged periods until the medication changed it. It's easier for me to get past things that upset me. I deal a lot better with stress and find that it's so much easier to be assertive, so that's help to dramatically reduces our arguments. It's also helped me be more assertive at my internship and with other people I come in contact with. My boyfriend and I have also been going for walks more, and more recently brisk walks. It's very relaxing and enjoyable. I like the scenery, fresh air, exercise, and talking.
I've also been socializing a little more. I've been hanging out with other people who have mental illnesses and it's such a relief to not feel alone and to know other people are going through the same things. It's also a release to be able to be open and talk to others about what I've been through and to have them actually understand. I feel so much better about my life. It still kind of blows my mind, because I never feel like this during the winter. My depression always kicked in to it's worst over the winter months, but I haven't felt depressed since I got the dosage right on my medication. It gives me so much to look forward to in the future. I feel a little more tired now, especially the week after my period, but I'm planning to start taking vitamin B12 to see if that helps.
I should also mention that my female sugar glider died about two weeks ago from diabetes. I was really upset. I spent a lot of money trying to save her, but there wasn't much the vets could do especially since they couldn't find literature on diabetes in sugar gliders. I think the testing might have actually sped up her death, but I didn't know that was a risk until afterward. I think it was inevitable though. The vets sent me a handwritten sympathy card, which was nice. My male glider was fine. I'm thinking that her's was probably either hereditary or that it started developing from the improper diet combined with the previous pregnancies she had with her previous owners. It could have also been from her inactivity, since she wasn't very active and was overweight at one point. I don't know if that was a cause or symptom though. It just wasn't something I expected. I feel better knowing she's at peace now though. I was worried about my male glider, since they are very social creatures and can get depressed; so, I recently found a couple of female cagemates for him. I have to wait at least a month to introduce them, but I think they'll get along great.
Anyway, I guess that's enough of an update for now. I hope everyone's doing well! :)