End of the Semester...
I am so relieved that this semester is almost over... I only have one final left for Tuesday and I will be done with classes. I am so glad too. This semester had been very stressful and trying, but hopefully I'll come out of it okay. I'm a little worried about one of my classes. Anyway, next semester should be a lot easier. I'm going to try to mix it up a bit and to take some easier classes with a better schedule. Anyway, I don't feel like talking about classes right now though. I need to go to sleep soon. Everything seems to be going very well lately. My two-year anniversary is on Wednesday and we're actually planning on celebrating it. It'll be the first anniversary that I've really gotten to celebrate out of the seven that I've had. I'm trying to figure out somewhere fun to go and somewhere new to eat at. I'm hoping to get some good suggestions from a local community here.
My belly-dancing classes have been going very well too. I have them every Thursday and I did really well this past week. I was actually able to coordinate a lot of the moves and dance to the rhythm - those are the two things I have the most trouble with. I was so happy and I felt great afterwards. My dance instructor was running late, so I taught the other girl in my class the basic ballroom dance steps, since she was interested and I knew how to. I took ballroom dancing classes about a year and a half ago. I missed the last few of those classes, but I had the groundwork down and I'll probably retake them down the road. I really want to continue taking the once-a-week dance classes. It makes me feel so much better.
Anyway, I guess I'll talk about this here: I talked to my ex just before Thanksgiving, and actually had a conversation with him, for the first time in two years. We talked about things that had happened in the past, about what was going on in our lives now, and so on. He apologized for having done some of the things that he had, which included the times he cheated on me. I did forgive him, which suprises me that I've actually gotten to a point where I can do so. I guess because I understand it more now from seeing my roommate and other people cheat. I was able to look at it from a different perspective and that is something I had actually done months before, so it wasn't a sudden choice. I still don't believe that it's justifiable, but I do understand it better now. It was so weird talking to him, because my emotions were really mixed and strong. Fortunately, I'm very good at thinking logically and at not thinking emotionally. I'm really glad we talked though, because it provided me with some closure. It's difficult to explain. I agreed to being friends and talking, but I doubt we'll ever hang out because it would be weird. I like talking to him though, but that's as far as I would ever let it go. I still remember clearly why I broke up with him and although I can forgive him for some things, I won't forget them.
I think I like talking to him on occassion because he was part of my life for five years, so we have a lot of history together and he understands me better than the people around here. He also has a really high level of respect for me, because he's seen how ambitious I am and he's seen how hard I've worked. He's also fun to talk to. I'm just not sure how that is going to work out with my current relationship, because I don't think my boyfriend would be okay with me remaining friends with my ex and I don't want to create any sort of stress on our relationship. I'm just not sure if it's fair though, because in the beginning of our relationship I was okay with him remaining friends with his ex until she continued to put the moves on him and he put himself in the situation to let her try - though nothing happened. I don't know. I think the difference between us is that if my boyfriend were single, he would still hook up with his ex; whereas, when I break up, it's for good, because I know I can't deal with the emotional baggage. I guess I'm rambling on, but I just wanted to get it out. I don't really have anyone that I can talk to about issues like this. I could go on and on, I'm sure. I think the main reason I'm even considering keeping in touch is because I like talking to someone who understands and respects me... that's hard to get around here, especially since I don't really have many friends here.
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well. I really need to head to bed, but I'll update later. :)