motivation???
today was a very blah day for some reason.. but it's not just today... i've honestly been feeling this way for a few days now (only haven't shown it really)... it feels like everything's going way out of control all at once.. and i'm losing everything in the process.. the "circle" is breaking down.. my family's trust in me and respect for me is nearly gone... and i'm about to crumble... i honestly feel like i don't have anything at all...
the irony is that i've got a paper to write for psychology due tomorrow.. the topic is "what motivates me?"... i spent all day trying to come up with something... ANYTHING... and i came up with nothing... i have no motivation... and i think i know why.. my family had always been a major factor in motivating me to try new things and better myself whenever possible... well, they've only been negative toward me for the past year or so... so i really don't have that backing me now... when i didn't have them pushing me.. i'd turn to my friends, and they'd always be there telling me that i could do whatever i set my mind to... well, you guys know the situation going on right now.. i really don't have anyone left.. (especially since tony's back in columbia now...) or at least that's how i feel about the whole situation..
i feed off of my family and friends for support... without those factors in my life.. to where i KNOW, without a doubt, they are there... i have no drive.. there is no me
the irony is that i've got a paper to write for psychology due tomorrow.. the topic is "what motivates me?"... i spent all day trying to come up with something... ANYTHING... and i came up with nothing... i have no motivation... and i think i know why.. my family had always been a major factor in motivating me to try new things and better myself whenever possible... well, they've only been negative toward me for the past year or so... so i really don't have that backing me now... when i didn't have them pushing me.. i'd turn to my friends, and they'd always be there telling me that i could do whatever i set my mind to... well, you guys know the situation going on right now.. i really don't have anyone left.. (especially since tony's back in columbia now...) or at least that's how i feel about the whole situation..
i feed off of my family and friends for support... without those factors in my life.. to where i KNOW, without a doubt, they are there... i have no drive.. there is no me