Never an honest word... but that was when I ruled the world.
Blah. I hate the restlessness of summer. It's making me be a lot more difficult than I really want to be. Unfortunately, the ones who suffer most are those that I care about most- my family and Doug, mainly.
Things in the past week or so since I updated remain steady.
Work is work. I'm getting along pretty well with everyone- as well as can be expected, at least. The boys don't hate me anymore (and, in fact, have moved their dislike onto other people and have started including me in jokes again- which I consider to be a good thing) and everything is moving on alright. I'm pretty sure one of the kids in another department has a crush on me though, and it's kind of getting weird. He doesn't say anything to anyone- like, seriously. He's totally shy and reserved. But lately he's started coming through my line and buying things and he'll say stuff in this timid, small little voice. And he giggles. Seriously- he giggles. Hearing the small little giggle escape his lips is cute and sad all at once. I've started to try to hand him his change with my left hand so he doesn't get any ideas. Anyway, other than that, work is just work. I got an actual 40 hours this week for the first time ever- usually it's 39 or 38... just under full time. Our credit card system went out for six hours during my last shift though and it about drove me nutty. People are so mean when things don't go their way. I had several people actually yell at me- as if it was MY fault that the credit machines went down! Yes, I personally caused the entire system to crash! I only WISH I had that much power to throw around. Seriously.
Oh, I did have a pretty interesting thing happen to me at work the other day, actually. I somehow managed to meet someone with the EXACT same medical diagnosis as me. It's so rare of a diagnosis that I pretty much never thought I would meet anyone like me- let alone a customer at work, since I don't usually end up doing a lot of talking about myself at work with the customers, it just never comes up. I have adult-onset (non-trauma non-tumor) Hydrocephalus, which is so rare it's not even funny. It is as rare as its name is long. One in every 1,000 people has hydrocephalus, and less than 1% of those cases is adult-onset, and most of those are from trauma or tumors or something. And I somehow managed to meet someone at work with the exact same thing- the irony is still shocking to me. And guess what? She's a total bitch. No, seriously... a bitch. In the span of two minutes she managed to accuse me of saying the name of the disease wrong, she said that her doctor was better than mine, and she said that my shunt was the source of all my problems and her method of cerebral fluid removal was better. Okay: A. I totally don't pronounce it wrong. I say it just like all my doctors I've ever had have said it. I was a little paranoid after she accused me of this, so I looked it up on dictionary.com and did the little sound recording thing, and the sound recording said it just like me. SO HA!; B. Her doctor isn't better than mine. Especially if he doesn't even know how to say the name of it! I go to one of the top ranked neurosurgical departments in the country! As stated in the most recent issue of US News and World Report or something like that... I can never remember the name of that magazine, but they just said it. It's in the top ten in the country! SO HA!; C. I have to have a shunt; the method her doctor uses doesn't work in my case, so a shunt is the best option. And actually, when you calculate the number of surgeries I've had to have in the time since I've been diagnosed (Four surgeries in six years) compared to the number she's had since her diagnosis (Three surgeries in four years) my method actually seems to be better. SO HA! And... that's enough of my long random rant about my medical issues and the bitch I met at work.
Things with the family are going well. I've been, for the most part, getting along well with everyone- even my sisters. I was even nice when my oldest sister came home from vacation and revealed to me that she'd spilled water all over my copy of Twilight that I'd let her borrow. (Okay, I'll admit, I freaked out a little bit until she promised to replace it, but I was, all in all, pretty nice about it.) And my middle sister and I have been getting along really well, which is surprising for us- especially when we're both pretty stressed out. It's nice having her around on a regular basis again. I forgot how much fun we can have together. And I pretty much always get along with my parents, so nothing there has changed.
Things with Doug are going normally too. I'll admit, I've been crabby. I can't help it. Summer makes me restless. Plus, I've been PMSing. (Too much information? Probably.) Thus, I'm kind of a bitch sometimes. I'm trying harder to not be that way, though. I really am. Wedding planning is going well... I got my dress, and I'm completely in love with it. Too bad I have to wait 8-9 months for it to be shipped over from Spain, though. Sheesh!
Other than all that, life is just life. I've been trying to keep myself sane this summer and trying not to think too much about student teaching- which starts on August 18th. I've been keeping myself occupied at night (my most restless time and usually my only time to myself these days) with fluffy books, writing random and useless short stories, and watching movies until Breaking Dawn rolls around.
And, that's my update of the moment. My update of sorts. I'm in a weird mood these days. Like I said, it's probably the restlessness. I always feel this way during summer. I think that without the stress and huge amount of knowledge to cram into my head that I have during the school year, my brain is so empty that it feels... lost. And I get this restless feeling. It's the same restless feeling that used to make me break up with my boyfriends during summer- too much time to think. It's making me irritable and annoying, and I hate it. I'm trying to fill my mind with anything and everything, but I'm afraid I can only do so much.
Blah. I hate the summer. But yet I love it- it's so wonderful in some ways, but so horrible in its restlessness. And therein lies the paradox.
Things in the past week or so since I updated remain steady.
Work is work. I'm getting along pretty well with everyone- as well as can be expected, at least. The boys don't hate me anymore (and, in fact, have moved their dislike onto other people and have started including me in jokes again- which I consider to be a good thing) and everything is moving on alright. I'm pretty sure one of the kids in another department has a crush on me though, and it's kind of getting weird. He doesn't say anything to anyone- like, seriously. He's totally shy and reserved. But lately he's started coming through my line and buying things and he'll say stuff in this timid, small little voice. And he giggles. Seriously- he giggles. Hearing the small little giggle escape his lips is cute and sad all at once. I've started to try to hand him his change with my left hand so he doesn't get any ideas. Anyway, other than that, work is just work. I got an actual 40 hours this week for the first time ever- usually it's 39 or 38... just under full time. Our credit card system went out for six hours during my last shift though and it about drove me nutty. People are so mean when things don't go their way. I had several people actually yell at me- as if it was MY fault that the credit machines went down! Yes, I personally caused the entire system to crash! I only WISH I had that much power to throw around. Seriously.
Oh, I did have a pretty interesting thing happen to me at work the other day, actually. I somehow managed to meet someone with the EXACT same medical diagnosis as me. It's so rare of a diagnosis that I pretty much never thought I would meet anyone like me- let alone a customer at work, since I don't usually end up doing a lot of talking about myself at work with the customers, it just never comes up. I have adult-onset (non-trauma non-tumor) Hydrocephalus, which is so rare it's not even funny. It is as rare as its name is long. One in every 1,000 people has hydrocephalus, and less than 1% of those cases is adult-onset, and most of those are from trauma or tumors or something. And I somehow managed to meet someone at work with the exact same thing- the irony is still shocking to me. And guess what? She's a total bitch. No, seriously... a bitch. In the span of two minutes she managed to accuse me of saying the name of the disease wrong, she said that her doctor was better than mine, and she said that my shunt was the source of all my problems and her method of cerebral fluid removal was better. Okay: A. I totally don't pronounce it wrong. I say it just like all my doctors I've ever had have said it. I was a little paranoid after she accused me of this, so I looked it up on dictionary.com and did the little sound recording thing, and the sound recording said it just like me. SO HA!; B. Her doctor isn't better than mine. Especially if he doesn't even know how to say the name of it! I go to one of the top ranked neurosurgical departments in the country! As stated in the most recent issue of US News and World Report or something like that... I can never remember the name of that magazine, but they just said it. It's in the top ten in the country! SO HA!; C. I have to have a shunt; the method her doctor uses doesn't work in my case, so a shunt is the best option. And actually, when you calculate the number of surgeries I've had to have in the time since I've been diagnosed (Four surgeries in six years) compared to the number she's had since her diagnosis (Three surgeries in four years) my method actually seems to be better. SO HA! And... that's enough of my long random rant about my medical issues and the bitch I met at work.
Things with the family are going well. I've been, for the most part, getting along well with everyone- even my sisters. I was even nice when my oldest sister came home from vacation and revealed to me that she'd spilled water all over my copy of Twilight that I'd let her borrow. (Okay, I'll admit, I freaked out a little bit until she promised to replace it, but I was, all in all, pretty nice about it.) And my middle sister and I have been getting along really well, which is surprising for us- especially when we're both pretty stressed out. It's nice having her around on a regular basis again. I forgot how much fun we can have together. And I pretty much always get along with my parents, so nothing there has changed.
Things with Doug are going normally too. I'll admit, I've been crabby. I can't help it. Summer makes me restless. Plus, I've been PMSing. (Too much information? Probably.) Thus, I'm kind of a bitch sometimes. I'm trying harder to not be that way, though. I really am. Wedding planning is going well... I got my dress, and I'm completely in love with it. Too bad I have to wait 8-9 months for it to be shipped over from Spain, though. Sheesh!
Other than all that, life is just life. I've been trying to keep myself sane this summer and trying not to think too much about student teaching- which starts on August 18th. I've been keeping myself occupied at night (my most restless time and usually my only time to myself these days) with fluffy books, writing random and useless short stories, and watching movies until Breaking Dawn rolls around.
And, that's my update of the moment. My update of sorts. I'm in a weird mood these days. Like I said, it's probably the restlessness. I always feel this way during summer. I think that without the stress and huge amount of knowledge to cram into my head that I have during the school year, my brain is so empty that it feels... lost. And I get this restless feeling. It's the same restless feeling that used to make me break up with my boyfriends during summer- too much time to think. It's making me irritable and annoying, and I hate it. I'm trying to fill my mind with anything and everything, but I'm afraid I can only do so much.
Blah. I hate the summer. But yet I love it- it's so wonderful in some ways, but so horrible in its restlessness. And therein lies the paradox.