I'm homesick.
And it's a slightly bad case. There has been a lot of change recently. Our new house is wonderful. Close to perfect. We've been here 3 weeks and it already feels like a home which is the first time I have felt that in Vancouver. My mum sold the house and was a week away from moving into a smaller and more central place with my sisters but it turned out at the last minute that an engineer was never involved with it's construction which voided the contract and with the state of things in Ireland, it wasn't worth the risk. So now she is thinking of finally making the move to southern Spain where she is happier. Ciara is off to stay on campus at DCU in her second year of Business and Spanish, while Sorcha is contemplating heading to Barcelona for a masters.
As it stands, there is no home in Dublin anymore. Along with almost making me depressed with nostalgia, it complicates my trip back to Dublin next year. But that's minor. I miss my home. I miss the area. The strange sense of security that I haven't felt anywhere else until recently with this house.
View from my bedroom, Jan 2010
I'm worried. Because homesickness is to be expected. But I feel like it effects me a little more then it should. A little more then what is normal or healthy. And I'm worried because I don't want it to be this bad. I do plan to go home at some point for a while. For a year or so. And I wonder how much I rely on this without knowing. The idea that I will be going back, playing rugby with my team, visiting my dad in the country and seeing the rest of my family on a regular basis.
I know all this is because I'm too nostalgic. It's almost an actual problem with me. I find it incredibly hard to let go and to move on. And it can sometimes suck. Like now.
But things are good. Otherwise I'm incredibly happy with life and the way it's going.
As it stands, there is no home in Dublin anymore. Along with almost making me depressed with nostalgia, it complicates my trip back to Dublin next year. But that's minor. I miss my home. I miss the area. The strange sense of security that I haven't felt anywhere else until recently with this house.
View from my bedroom, Jan 2010
I'm worried. Because homesickness is to be expected. But I feel like it effects me a little more then it should. A little more then what is normal or healthy. And I'm worried because I don't want it to be this bad. I do plan to go home at some point for a while. For a year or so. And I wonder how much I rely on this without knowing. The idea that I will be going back, playing rugby with my team, visiting my dad in the country and seeing the rest of my family on a regular basis.
I know all this is because I'm too nostalgic. It's almost an actual problem with me. I find it incredibly hard to let go and to move on. And it can sometimes suck. Like now.
But things are good. Otherwise I'm incredibly happy with life and the way it's going.