April Fools is over.
Well, April the 1st came and went. Just like that. When i was little i'd make subtle preparations a few days before, anf be giggling me head off when i poured the blue food colouring into the milk carton... not any more though... I completely forgot it was even april fools day, gave it a quick thought on march 31st (oh, it's april fools day tomorrow) and didn't think of it again until 20 minutes into april 2nd.
Is april fools a world wide thing? I know america has it, and in australia there's this weird before 12 rule going around. Some of us don't even get the whole day to fool, just the first 12 hours, most of which are spent sleeping! I wonder if they have other weird rules in other countries... any uranian/serbian/whatever other country folk that are reading this (ha!) let me know what happens over there....
I've been in a really weird mood tonight. Not a bad mood, just a contemplative one that gets me thinking... too much really, it usually leads to bad things, i.e paranoia about the way my friends think of me, the stupid things i've done in the past... the chances i've missed out on. A good thing it led to this time however, is the future! I'm more confident about my future now than i've ever been. That may be hard to understand, sitting here unemployed, out of school and only an accounting certificate in progress stuck in the corner, but things look good. It all starts with employment, but after that's secured then it just gets better... worst case scenario i'm single at 35 and the happiest bugger in the world... best case i'm 35, married, and the happiest bugger in the world. My supervisor at my last job was/is a single man till death do they part, but one of the happiest guys i know. I've taken that on board. My life used to be a "lonely" one, but now i really don't care about being in a relationship. I'm happy to live my life like i want to, and if someone comes along, great, if not, that's fine too. I know eventually i'll settle down etc, but i'm in no hurry to get experience under my belt. Life seems full enough without another half, i don't need to feel loved, because i finally love myself (to an extent).
I've always had a problem with self confidence. I still do, but i'm seeing solutions to the problem now that never struck me before. I felt like i was worth nothing because in some way i WAS worth nothing, to myself. But a change in lifestyle, and the way i view myself, and poof! Like magic, i'm worth something again. I was always blind to what was actually wrong, putting it down to something deeper and thinking wrongly about myself. But there was always a simple, surface matter that was affecting me. My weight back in the day started my depression, my depression was prolonged by loneliness, and the one thing that has held me back since the end of primary school. I'm not going into that one, i'm not over it yet, but my point is if i'd woken up to myself and realised that it really was as simple as solving the surface problem, i would have been "cured" years ago. I was so down about being a tubby lil chap, but when i lost the weight i was happy again. Damn Oprah and the like telling me its always deeper than the surface problem, screw you, it's not _always_ a deeper problem. Instead of trying to find and fix this deeper problem, why not fix the surface problem first and wait and see what happens? Sounds logical enough to me.
As Dr. Phil once said, humans aren't simple, our problems aren't simple, but aren't the _solutions_ to the problem usually simple? He's damn right they are.
Is april fools a world wide thing? I know america has it, and in australia there's this weird before 12 rule going around. Some of us don't even get the whole day to fool, just the first 12 hours, most of which are spent sleeping! I wonder if they have other weird rules in other countries... any uranian/serbian/whatever other country folk that are reading this (ha!) let me know what happens over there....
I've been in a really weird mood tonight. Not a bad mood, just a contemplative one that gets me thinking... too much really, it usually leads to bad things, i.e paranoia about the way my friends think of me, the stupid things i've done in the past... the chances i've missed out on. A good thing it led to this time however, is the future! I'm more confident about my future now than i've ever been. That may be hard to understand, sitting here unemployed, out of school and only an accounting certificate in progress stuck in the corner, but things look good. It all starts with employment, but after that's secured then it just gets better... worst case scenario i'm single at 35 and the happiest bugger in the world... best case i'm 35, married, and the happiest bugger in the world. My supervisor at my last job was/is a single man till death do they part, but one of the happiest guys i know. I've taken that on board. My life used to be a "lonely" one, but now i really don't care about being in a relationship. I'm happy to live my life like i want to, and if someone comes along, great, if not, that's fine too. I know eventually i'll settle down etc, but i'm in no hurry to get experience under my belt. Life seems full enough without another half, i don't need to feel loved, because i finally love myself (to an extent).
I've always had a problem with self confidence. I still do, but i'm seeing solutions to the problem now that never struck me before. I felt like i was worth nothing because in some way i WAS worth nothing, to myself. But a change in lifestyle, and the way i view myself, and poof! Like magic, i'm worth something again. I was always blind to what was actually wrong, putting it down to something deeper and thinking wrongly about myself. But there was always a simple, surface matter that was affecting me. My weight back in the day started my depression, my depression was prolonged by loneliness, and the one thing that has held me back since the end of primary school. I'm not going into that one, i'm not over it yet, but my point is if i'd woken up to myself and realised that it really was as simple as solving the surface problem, i would have been "cured" years ago. I was so down about being a tubby lil chap, but when i lost the weight i was happy again. Damn Oprah and the like telling me its always deeper than the surface problem, screw you, it's not _always_ a deeper problem. Instead of trying to find and fix this deeper problem, why not fix the surface problem first and wait and see what happens? Sounds logical enough to me.
As Dr. Phil once said, humans aren't simple, our problems aren't simple, but aren't the _solutions_ to the problem usually simple? He's damn right they are.