for lack of a better phrase: et tu, dear heart?
honest to god you guys, i have nothing to put in here anymore except a long list of useless ocmplaints.
and theres so goddamn much shit going on in my head, it would take me two weeks to think it all out just so i could write it down anyways.
so i shall put it in list form:
1. pissed off at alan. eventually, this will fade. but for now, i feel insulted and have decided to deal with it accordingly. i havent really figured out how to define "accordingly" yet, but ill think of something.
2. passing american studies by one measley point. crap.
3. no chance of honor roll, no chance of college acceptance. which sucks. but hey.
4. fell in love all over again with chicago.
5. i think maybe im upset over pinkster, also, because she just allows alan to let her down again and again. i dont know. its kind of not my business either, but it kind of affects me because i want to stick up for her as much as i can, and its like she ignores it. and i KNOW that this perception is LUDICROUS. it makes no sense. im just being pushy and overprotective and stupid. but i cant really help it...i have this unfailing loyalty to my friends and feel betrayed if they dont cherish it, although they didnt ask for it either. i dont know. im just being selfish. i saw her asking alan about bowling on friday, and it made me want to throw up, how shes so fucking nice all the time and cant be mad when she has a marvelous reason to be.
6. i hate everything. friends that ditch best friends for girl friends falls under that category; "everything".
7. dearly beloved are you listening? i cant remember a word that you were saying. are we demented or am i disturbed? the space thats inbetween is sane and insecure.
8.Dave Matthews tickets: $90. bribing john to convinve mom to let me go: $20. not even HAVING A FUCKING RIDE TO IT: PRICELESS.
9. everything is shit.
and theres so goddamn much shit going on in my head, it would take me two weeks to think it all out just so i could write it down anyways.
so i shall put it in list form:
1. pissed off at alan. eventually, this will fade. but for now, i feel insulted and have decided to deal with it accordingly. i havent really figured out how to define "accordingly" yet, but ill think of something.
2. passing american studies by one measley point. crap.
3. no chance of honor roll, no chance of college acceptance. which sucks. but hey.
4. fell in love all over again with chicago.
5. i think maybe im upset over pinkster, also, because she just allows alan to let her down again and again. i dont know. its kind of not my business either, but it kind of affects me because i want to stick up for her as much as i can, and its like she ignores it. and i KNOW that this perception is LUDICROUS. it makes no sense. im just being pushy and overprotective and stupid. but i cant really help it...i have this unfailing loyalty to my friends and feel betrayed if they dont cherish it, although they didnt ask for it either. i dont know. im just being selfish. i saw her asking alan about bowling on friday, and it made me want to throw up, how shes so fucking nice all the time and cant be mad when she has a marvelous reason to be.
6. i hate everything. friends that ditch best friends for girl friends falls under that category; "everything".
7. dearly beloved are you listening? i cant remember a word that you were saying. are we demented or am i disturbed? the space thats inbetween is sane and insecure.
8.Dave Matthews tickets: $90. bribing john to convinve mom to let me go: $20. not even HAVING A FUCKING RIDE TO IT: PRICELESS.
9. everything is shit.