So...
I really miss my friend. SO much. She doesn't even KNOW how much. She thinks she does but she really doesn't. She doesn't understand. She once told me that she'd never do that because it was gross and wrong for this age. She promised she'd never go farther than making out. Nor did I expect her to be straddling some guy and having him suck her. She's so different and I wish she could be in my shoes so she could know EXACTLY how I feel. Then she'd understand. She used to tell me that all those people that did it were whores and they all said "Oh it's not THAT bad." But nope, she didn't listen to them. She agreed with me that it was a whoreish thing to do. SHe told me she wouldn't be a whore. She TOLD me that. And I listened to her. SO I stopped getting mad at her for hooking up because I believed in my heart that she wouldn't break her promise. Then she hit me with it. I thought she was joking because I thought she'd never do that to me. That never entered my mind. Ever. But I guess I was wrong... because here I am. Aggrivated, frusterated, dissapointed and without someone that I used to look up to.