(no subject)
So, I came home for theholidays, and this is what I found:
it's true that things change, rather slowly sometimes. But when they do, it's usually permanant. And, people are either one of two things: the same as they were when you left, or totally different. I myself, have changed too. And, I found that when I filter out all the bad stuff in my life, I go back to bein who I truly am. And, sometimes I really don't like the "real" me. And it's only because I haven't seen the "real" me for so many years. But, when I compare it to the way I used to be, I love me. And it took me almost 10 months and a trip back to the place where the birth of my bad years took place. Yeah, I went back to those places just to see how good of a person I've actually become.
And I will tell you another thing. I have found my other half. However, I don't think I can ever go back to her..yeah. I will definately never go back to that. And, I don't know now what I was thinking then to think that I was realdy to get married. I know fully now, that back then I truly was not, and had I went along with my off track mind-set...I would have crashed AND burned completely. Thanx GOD, or however it is....for puttin me through what I went through in order to purge my soul of the things that were truly poisoning it.
I know there are many who still won't stand by me, trust me, or even take the time to talk to me. I don't care about them. How can I? TAO says :
basically, you cannot change what already is.
however, you can change what is yet to be because it is not yet.
And what does that mean to me? Basically, if I focu all my life energy on trying to change something that already happened not realising that I cannot change it, then that positive energy either depletes totally, pr turns into negative energy which in turn changes the outlook on my already unstable life. Unstable because everyday all of us struggle to keep at a happy medium, and yet most of us fail. But, the less energy I waste on negative events, the more I produce and use towards a positive situation, which in the end makes my day positive and creates a mentally healthier life for me, decreasing stress and the posibility for sickness...and increasing the chance that I will become more productive and helps me reach any goal I set forth to achieve.
So what doth one say to that?
My christmas was great, though I wish it could last longer, and that my vacation would have been a little longer. The land of opportunities hath opened up to me, and I found the bridge to cross the dirty river filled with failure. I can't wait to get back home and get back to living my life...which I have a totally different outlook on.
Good night, and Merry Christmas
Lates
Turtle
it's true that things change, rather slowly sometimes. But when they do, it's usually permanant. And, people are either one of two things: the same as they were when you left, or totally different. I myself, have changed too. And, I found that when I filter out all the bad stuff in my life, I go back to bein who I truly am. And, sometimes I really don't like the "real" me. And it's only because I haven't seen the "real" me for so many years. But, when I compare it to the way I used to be, I love me. And it took me almost 10 months and a trip back to the place where the birth of my bad years took place. Yeah, I went back to those places just to see how good of a person I've actually become.
And I will tell you another thing. I have found my other half. However, I don't think I can ever go back to her..yeah. I will definately never go back to that. And, I don't know now what I was thinking then to think that I was realdy to get married. I know fully now, that back then I truly was not, and had I went along with my off track mind-set...I would have crashed AND burned completely. Thanx GOD, or however it is....for puttin me through what I went through in order to purge my soul of the things that were truly poisoning it.
I know there are many who still won't stand by me, trust me, or even take the time to talk to me. I don't care about them. How can I? TAO says :
basically, you cannot change what already is.
however, you can change what is yet to be because it is not yet.
And what does that mean to me? Basically, if I focu all my life energy on trying to change something that already happened not realising that I cannot change it, then that positive energy either depletes totally, pr turns into negative energy which in turn changes the outlook on my already unstable life. Unstable because everyday all of us struggle to keep at a happy medium, and yet most of us fail. But, the less energy I waste on negative events, the more I produce and use towards a positive situation, which in the end makes my day positive and creates a mentally healthier life for me, decreasing stress and the posibility for sickness...and increasing the chance that I will become more productive and helps me reach any goal I set forth to achieve.
So what doth one say to that?
My christmas was great, though I wish it could last longer, and that my vacation would have been a little longer. The land of opportunities hath opened up to me, and I found the bridge to cross the dirty river filled with failure. I can't wait to get back home and get back to living my life...which I have a totally different outlook on.
Good night, and Merry Christmas
Lates
Turtle