If life were like right now...I would be halfway there...
So, in less than 12 and a half hours it will be a New Year, not that much will change for me. Everyone always makes New Years Resolutions, but seeing as I can never seem to follow through with mine I don't see a point in making them. Besides, I never actually look at January 1st as the start of a new year, to me it's just a change in the date I write on papers which takes me a whole month to remember. For me, the New Year starts when school starts up again after Summer vacation. That is when things really change because you've had almost three months to find yourself. And if you haven't done that? Eh, don't sweat it, you're just like the rest of the world and you have another summer ahead of you to figure that out. That is the meaning of a New Year for me.
Sure, I mean, if I saw this day as really that important I suppose I would make a list of resolutions, but just the basic things.
I'd get the story that is sitting next to me in an envelope down to the post office so that it might get into that magazine.
I'd do my best to stop trying to be perfect all the time because I know I'm not, maybe then I would stop stressing out so much that I got sick.
I'd try to be comfortable in my own skin, but that's one major hurdle I doubt I will be able to get over anytime soon. Besides, I think my characters are much better when I'm not comfortable with myself. Maybe it makes it easier to get into their frame of mind or something. No, that's probably me rationalizing as to why I should just forget about this goal for a while.
There aren't many other things I would really put on here. I mean sure, there are some out of the ordinary things I would like to do just for the fun of it, but seeing as I know I would never actually be brave enough to do any of those things, I don't see the point in even writing them down.
Nothing is going to change for me tonight. Absolutely nothing, and you know what? I am really glad. I'd rather things stay the way they are right now. Me working my ass off to keep my grades up while at the same time wondering why I am working so hard and all the while not caring about either of those things while I work on doing things I actually enjoy like my writing and actually having some semblance of a social life which I never had before. No, I like things the way they are and I'll keep working on them the same way I have this entire school year until its over and I can sit back and try to figure out what I can do differently over the summer.
For me, this is only the halfway point, but for the rest of you HAPPT NEW YEAR'S EVE!
wtyl
tata
Sure, I mean, if I saw this day as really that important I suppose I would make a list of resolutions, but just the basic things.
I'd get the story that is sitting next to me in an envelope down to the post office so that it might get into that magazine.
I'd do my best to stop trying to be perfect all the time because I know I'm not, maybe then I would stop stressing out so much that I got sick.
I'd try to be comfortable in my own skin, but that's one major hurdle I doubt I will be able to get over anytime soon. Besides, I think my characters are much better when I'm not comfortable with myself. Maybe it makes it easier to get into their frame of mind or something. No, that's probably me rationalizing as to why I should just forget about this goal for a while.
There aren't many other things I would really put on here. I mean sure, there are some out of the ordinary things I would like to do just for the fun of it, but seeing as I know I would never actually be brave enough to do any of those things, I don't see the point in even writing them down.
Nothing is going to change for me tonight. Absolutely nothing, and you know what? I am really glad. I'd rather things stay the way they are right now. Me working my ass off to keep my grades up while at the same time wondering why I am working so hard and all the while not caring about either of those things while I work on doing things I actually enjoy like my writing and actually having some semblance of a social life which I never had before. No, I like things the way they are and I'll keep working on them the same way I have this entire school year until its over and I can sit back and try to figure out what I can do differently over the summer.
For me, this is only the halfway point, but for the rest of you HAPPT NEW YEAR'S EVE!
wtyl
tata