Time Won't Let Me Go
I've realized how much I feel like my teen years have been a waste. I mean, I haven't been to any crazy parties, been able to hang out with friends afterschool all the time at their houses, been going to the mall, or have ever been to a single dance. I've had a crappy relationship. I sucked into a downward spiral of bad habits. I've worked my ass off to the point of insanity. I've focused on AP homework 24/7.
It's senior year and I'm tired. I have 3 weeks left to finish up several homework assignments and no drive or will to do so. This is a major problem. I need to get into a college. But I want a break so badly. I want to go shopping downtown with a group of friends, I want to catch a bus to the beach, I want to get lost and find my way back home. I want more adventures. More relaxation. I want to have friends who I feel like I can tell everything to, without the harsh judgement. I want them to loosen up. I want to loosen up. I constantly feel like my body is constantly tied to a board. The stress is too much!!!!
I want to freeze time. I feel old. I feel like my life is already over. It must sound wierd coming from a 17 year old. I think I'm having an extremely early mid-life crisis.