I should go to bed instead of writting this but heh?!
I may do a come back at this. It may help my anxiety to vent on a journal! So today i went to pass an electrocardiogram on the treadmill. It went pretty well and so far i am not threatened of dying of a stroke. I had very high level of stress the past 2 years with my baby being premature (oh yeah, surprise!! may get into that if you want to know on an other entry?) and all the stress and abnormal first step into motherhood that wasn't sweet and cuddly. Our moving into a bigger and what we thought was nicer appartment before realising the people living here before us had never cleaned anything in 10 years, had to get throught 3 months of renos with a freshly starting to walk hyperactive toodler. When all this was finaly in our back, a new neighboor (19 y/o) couple arrived and they were junkies, having a lot of come and go from weird people at any time of the day/nights, fights, pot and hash odors invading our appartment ALL DAY LONG EVERYDAY. Having absolutely no help from the police/landloard/janitor. We were trapped with a 2 years lease that the janitor refused to break. That was a terrible experience, but they were evicted last week end and my oh my did it lift a huge weight out of my shoulders!
So all and all i developped a lot of anxiety, both 3 did actually. It was preventing me from having good nights of sleeps, it was constantly in the back of my mind. Also spending so many hours just trying to look for solutions online and doing phone calls and searches. I started having weird things going on with my heart and digestion. The doctor think it's an abnormal amount of stress that i have since a too long period of time, but just to make sure i do not have a pathology, i have to get into the entire exams, just to make sure everything can be fixed with excercises and good nights sleeps. *crossing my fingers* So far so good. I am just missing the Holter exam and we'll be set.
I was actually so worried about the treadmill, i know this past 2 years and a half i haven't been moving enough. I take a walk to the park everyday but that's pretty much it. So i told the nurse i was worried i'd start puking everywhere after 3 mins of it, Cross fit style you know? But it went well, better than expected. She did told me i was in bad shape haha but this is one of the reasons i was there too. Going back on shape is in the process. I've lost a lot of weight by changing the way we eat, now i am all ready for exercise and cardio to helpt my heart and shape back my muscles, i have absolutely no tonus wich causes a lot of inflamations. I want to get rid of this. I want to be a better me to set exemple to my daughter. I do not do it to have a "beach body" i could care less, i really do it for my daughter to have a healthy mommy for a very long time along her side.
So yeah, i am still a rambler haha , that did not change at all ;) . Let's see how long ill be updating this thing!
So all and all i developped a lot of anxiety, both 3 did actually. It was preventing me from having good nights of sleeps, it was constantly in the back of my mind. Also spending so many hours just trying to look for solutions online and doing phone calls and searches. I started having weird things going on with my heart and digestion. The doctor think it's an abnormal amount of stress that i have since a too long period of time, but just to make sure i do not have a pathology, i have to get into the entire exams, just to make sure everything can be fixed with excercises and good nights sleeps. *crossing my fingers* So far so good. I am just missing the Holter exam and we'll be set.
I was actually so worried about the treadmill, i know this past 2 years and a half i haven't been moving enough. I take a walk to the park everyday but that's pretty much it. So i told the nurse i was worried i'd start puking everywhere after 3 mins of it, Cross fit style you know? But it went well, better than expected. She did told me i was in bad shape haha but this is one of the reasons i was there too. Going back on shape is in the process. I've lost a lot of weight by changing the way we eat, now i am all ready for exercise and cardio to helpt my heart and shape back my muscles, i have absolutely no tonus wich causes a lot of inflamations. I want to get rid of this. I want to be a better me to set exemple to my daughter. I do not do it to have a "beach body" i could care less, i really do it for my daughter to have a healthy mommy for a very long time along her side.
So yeah, i am still a rambler haha , that did not change at all ;) . Let's see how long ill be updating this thing!