rootless tree
So I know now, I don't mean a thing to him. But again, in a way, it's good he avoids me, right? It's less hard on me, seeing him happy, moving on.
But I still dream about him, and I don't know how to deal with it.
I've been trying to convince myself I feel nothing for him. Almost had myself convinced too, then I happened to come across a picture of him, smiling. Intense eyes looking out the screen at me. It hurt just as bad as it did that night.
He's never told me he didn't love me. I think that's just him pretending he never said it, not that he loves me and doesn't want to lie. So it's not any kind of hopeful googlyeyed wish there. He doesn't. He never did. He NEVER did.
Right? Right.
But I still feel him sometimes, late at night, as I'm breathing in, I can feel him in the air, feel him turning my way. Then I breath out and he's gone again, and I'm still wide wake, afraid to breath in again, for either he'll be there, or he won't, and both are just so awful I can't face either.
I'm so pathetic. How do I get over him? I've told myself how he had been. How weak and stupid it is to still feel that way. But it doesn't help, because even in the face of what I saw, what I heard, it feels like lies. So what should I go with, my feelings, or my senses?
I'm such a waste when it comes to this.
But I still dream about him, and I don't know how to deal with it.
I've been trying to convince myself I feel nothing for him. Almost had myself convinced too, then I happened to come across a picture of him, smiling. Intense eyes looking out the screen at me. It hurt just as bad as it did that night.
He's never told me he didn't love me. I think that's just him pretending he never said it, not that he loves me and doesn't want to lie. So it's not any kind of hopeful googlyeyed wish there. He doesn't. He never did. He NEVER did.
Right? Right.
But I still feel him sometimes, late at night, as I'm breathing in, I can feel him in the air, feel him turning my way. Then I breath out and he's gone again, and I'm still wide wake, afraid to breath in again, for either he'll be there, or he won't, and both are just so awful I can't face either.
I'm so pathetic. How do I get over him? I've told myself how he had been. How weak and stupid it is to still feel that way. But it doesn't help, because even in the face of what I saw, what I heard, it feels like lies. So what should I go with, my feelings, or my senses?
I'm such a waste when it comes to this.