Fic: Memories (PG13) ch3 of 5
Title: Memories
Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender
Pairings: Mai/ Zuko
Summary: After three years apart, Mai and Zuko revisit some old memories together.
Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 ||
=======
Chapter 3
Mai laughs, a short, sharp bark of surprise to think that as a child, Zuko had worried that she might not like him. How silly of him. She feels as if liking him is the single most natural thing in the world. It feels like fate. It feels like destiny. And most importantly, it feels like magic.
There is all too little magic in Mai’s life.
Frowning slightly, she wraps her arms tightly around his neck and kisses him to allay her fears. It feels surreal that Zuko is with her now, holding her and loving her, and a part of her dreads to think that all this Avatar shit might just be a dream; that she will awake from it tomorrow morning to find herself back in the old Omashu, before it was renamed New Ozai, before Azula came to save her from a dreary life as the governer’s daughter.
Before her boyfriend defeated the airbender and reclaimed his ticket back into society.
And so she kisses him hungrily, while he is still here, while he is still solid and corporeal in her arms, and digs her nails into his clothes to prevent him from dissipating, just like the dream she dreads to think think he might be.
=======
She felt his eyes watching her across the courtyard. Never very often, never for very long, and hardly ever from the same vantage point, because every time Azula spotted him, the princess would trap and goad him into another embarrassing game. And so Zuko had watched her from afar, just long enough for Mai to look up and notice him. Just long enough for them to exchange smiles. And then he would be off, disappearing like mist into the endless hallways that lined the palace.
Sometimes, she pretended not to notice, and watched him out of the corner of her eye until he slinked away, disappointed. Although it thrilled her to feel his eyes seeking her, she was terrified of appearing too happy or too excited, or of somehow giving away any hint that she might be nursing a secret crush.
And so life had gone on as usual. Another year of examinations came and went, and as expected, all three girls were promoted to the next grade at the Academy. Winter begain in earnest, and for awhile, Mai found herself cooped up at home, but then the snows thawed, and she returned to the palace to resume her schooling, just as she always had.
One thing that did change however, was that as time went by, she found herself learning less and less about strategy and culture, and more about the fine arts of home making. Hours were dedicated to learning the intricacies of floral arrangement, and special classes were held after school for the older girls to learn the tables and calculations which would one day allow them to manage an extended household budget. Even more important were the lessons on how to adaquetely serve a husband; how to present his food so that he would have the appetitie to eat, the proper way to serve him tea, the different salutations, and even the right postures to adopt with him. It was a never-ending list of rules that confounded her, and made her dizzy with it’s complexity.
She never resented it though. Having been born into a middle-ranking family which had clawed its way upwards, she had seen first-hand how difficult it had been for her mother to come to grips with the mind-numbing array of unsaid rules govering the high-borns, and knew that a sound knowledge of such decorum would put her in good stead in the future.
She wished it didnt take up so much time or energy though. She missed playing in the training arena, while Zuko practised nearby. And apparently he missed her too, because he asked about it once, when they bumped into each other in the hallway.
“Um, I don’t really have the time anymore,” she confessed shyly. “There’s so much going on at school nowadays.”
“But Azula seems as free as ever,” Zuko had said in surprise.
“That’s cos she’s still too young to learn how to serve a husband,” Mai grumbled playfully, only half resenting the princess’s abundant playtime.
Zuko’s eyes had gone wide. “Really?” he breathed. “They teach you that at school?”
Rather than chuckling, Mai had covered her mouth and giggled demurely, the way she had recently been taught to do, but Zuko had merely frowned and cocked his head at that unfamilliar gesture.
“You laugh like a concubine,” he commented, as candily as ever. “I prefer your old laugh. It feels more real.”
And Mai had beamed in honest joy to think that there was something genuine he liked about her. “Yeah, but I can’t do that anymore,” she said bashfully, and toyed nervously with a lock of hair. “And... well... mom said I can’t go to the arena either. I have to learn to be a lady, and ladies don’t play with knives.”
“Oh!” he said quietly, and then frowned and turned away. When he next spoke, his voice was hesitant. “Does that mean you’re... you know... betrothed?”
“Of course not!” Mai giggled, “I’m still a kid. I’m just learning to be a grown-up.”
And Zuko had smiled in honest relief. They had promised each other, then and there, that they would meet again soon, but the days dragged into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and then early one morning, Mai had woken up to find her panties streaked with blood.
She had stared at the stain in dismay. Given all the hype at school, Mai had quite been looking forward to becoming a woman, but now that the moment had come, she felt nothing but regret. Her childhood was now officially over.
For an entire season, Mai kept her monthly bleeding a secret from the household, but eventually, a servant noticed a small stain on her bedcovers that Mai herself had overlooked, and then, all hell had broken loose: her parents had wept and fussed over her, knowing that their time left with their daughter was running out, and then set to work, consulting several fortune-tellers and performing numerous rituals while their designated matchmaker poured over a list of perspective husbands. In the meantime, Mai was kept shut up within the house, with nobody but the servants and an occasional visit from Ty Lee to distract her from her impending future.
Finally, Mai could take no more. She waited for the hottest part of the day - a time when everyone drowsed - then stealthily slipped out of the house and made a dash for the palace.
“Zuko!” she cried, bursting into the arena. Shocked, Zuko looked up from his swordplay and then gaped to see her so distraught. And then, to her dismay, she had burst into tears.
She had not intended to cry, especially not in front of him, but for so long now, she had despaired of ever talking to him again that the tears had come on their own accord.
“Mai,” Zuko had breathed, and had come up to comfort her, but she drew away as if she were covered in filth.
“No! Can’t...” she had gasped as she tried in vain to dry her eyes. To her disgust, the flow of tears simply refused to cease. “I’ve... It’s... My bleeding’s started.”
For awhile, he watched her, perplexed, but finally, understanding dawned. Wordlessly, he put aside his sword, then grabbed her firmly by wrist and led her to a secluded spot just behind the left wing of the palace, and then proceeded to climb a tree.
Curiosity fought with propriety and won, and it wasn’t long before Mai was climbing up after him. Suddenly she found herself on a crude platform with makeshift walls. A tree house. Why had it never occurred to her that Zuko might be a normal boy after all?
“After Mom vanished, I needed to get away,” Zuko said, by way of explanation. “You can cry in peace here. Or you can throw a fit, if that’s what you want. You can do anything here, and no-one will ever know.”
His concern filled her with despair. What hope was there of getting a husband as caring as Zuko? There could not possibly be another like him in the entire world. All too soon, she would belong to a man who would very likely be indifferent towards her, and then she would never hear such gentle words addressed to her again, or be the focus of such sincere kindness. If only she did not have to marry! She wished she could have remained a child forever.
“Do you know who it’ll be?” he asked grimly, and Mai shook her head in response. Even though it was becoming common practise for Fire Nation noblewomen to have some say in their perspective husbands, Mai’s family was staunchly traditionalist, and it had never once occoured to her parents to talk the matter over with her.
Zuko sighed heavily and rested his hand reassuringly beside hers. “When I am Firelord,” he began quietly, “I’ll make sure that nobody is forced to marry against their will. I promise. It might be too late for you, but... hopefully... not for your daughters...?”
Mai nodded her thanks, and grasped his hand tightly. A promise of hope for her daughters reassured her somewhat, but what of her own plight? Steadily, the last of her own faith ebbed away, but just as she felt about ready to succumb to despair, a small scrap of folklore lodged itself in her conciousness.
“Kerathong,” she whispered, slightly breathlessly, and stared at Zuko, wide-eyed.
Kerathong, the festival of love. The night when children lighted candles to pray for good spouses, and married adults prayed for the fruitfulness of their marraige. Mai had never put much faith in such rituals: to wish upon a lighted candle was by far a long shot, but it was the only chance she had left.
=========
“Mai?” Zuko murmurs against her lips. His voice is low and husky now, but the tone of concern is a familiar one. Mai grins. It is so hard to believe that that beautiful boy from her childhood is now a man.
Sighing, she buries her head in his shoulder. It is such a relief to know that at long last, he is here with her, but she cannot shake off the nagging feeling that she cannot keep him with her forever. All too soon Zuko will leave her again, by will or by chance, and it will hurt like hell when he does.
A part of her longs to beg him never to leave her side, but she knows that she can never do that. It is too contrary to her nature to do so, and besides, her pride will never allow it. Briefly, she toys with the idea of telling him again how much she misses him, and hope that he will get the hint, but she knows it will sound like a cross between a whimper and a whine, and who knows how he will react to such a weakness on her part.
And so Mai clings wordlessly to him, vowing to keep virgil least he fades away into nothingness during the night, but the unfamilliar storm of repressed emotions has been too overwhelming for her, and she is too exhausted to stay awake for very long.
Slowly, reluctantly, she drifts off into a restless sleep.
~End of Ch 3 ~
A/N: Sorry this is a little bit angsty... it'll continue to be like this (fluffy angst) in the next chapter, but I promise I'll bring it back to happy squee. I like this pairing too much not to :D
Thanks for reading! <3
Fandom: Avatar the Last Airbender
Pairings: Mai/ Zuko
Summary: After three years apart, Mai and Zuko revisit some old memories together.
Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 ||
=======
Chapter 3
Mai laughs, a short, sharp bark of surprise to think that as a child, Zuko had worried that she might not like him. How silly of him. She feels as if liking him is the single most natural thing in the world. It feels like fate. It feels like destiny. And most importantly, it feels like magic.
There is all too little magic in Mai’s life.
Frowning slightly, she wraps her arms tightly around his neck and kisses him to allay her fears. It feels surreal that Zuko is with her now, holding her and loving her, and a part of her dreads to think that all this Avatar shit might just be a dream; that she will awake from it tomorrow morning to find herself back in the old Omashu, before it was renamed New Ozai, before Azula came to save her from a dreary life as the governer’s daughter.
Before her boyfriend defeated the airbender and reclaimed his ticket back into society.
And so she kisses him hungrily, while he is still here, while he is still solid and corporeal in her arms, and digs her nails into his clothes to prevent him from dissipating, just like the dream she dreads to think think he might be.
=======
She felt his eyes watching her across the courtyard. Never very often, never for very long, and hardly ever from the same vantage point, because every time Azula spotted him, the princess would trap and goad him into another embarrassing game. And so Zuko had watched her from afar, just long enough for Mai to look up and notice him. Just long enough for them to exchange smiles. And then he would be off, disappearing like mist into the endless hallways that lined the palace.
Sometimes, she pretended not to notice, and watched him out of the corner of her eye until he slinked away, disappointed. Although it thrilled her to feel his eyes seeking her, she was terrified of appearing too happy or too excited, or of somehow giving away any hint that she might be nursing a secret crush.
And so life had gone on as usual. Another year of examinations came and went, and as expected, all three girls were promoted to the next grade at the Academy. Winter begain in earnest, and for awhile, Mai found herself cooped up at home, but then the snows thawed, and she returned to the palace to resume her schooling, just as she always had.
One thing that did change however, was that as time went by, she found herself learning less and less about strategy and culture, and more about the fine arts of home making. Hours were dedicated to learning the intricacies of floral arrangement, and special classes were held after school for the older girls to learn the tables and calculations which would one day allow them to manage an extended household budget. Even more important were the lessons on how to adaquetely serve a husband; how to present his food so that he would have the appetitie to eat, the proper way to serve him tea, the different salutations, and even the right postures to adopt with him. It was a never-ending list of rules that confounded her, and made her dizzy with it’s complexity.
She never resented it though. Having been born into a middle-ranking family which had clawed its way upwards, she had seen first-hand how difficult it had been for her mother to come to grips with the mind-numbing array of unsaid rules govering the high-borns, and knew that a sound knowledge of such decorum would put her in good stead in the future.
She wished it didnt take up so much time or energy though. She missed playing in the training arena, while Zuko practised nearby. And apparently he missed her too, because he asked about it once, when they bumped into each other in the hallway.
“Um, I don’t really have the time anymore,” she confessed shyly. “There’s so much going on at school nowadays.”
“But Azula seems as free as ever,” Zuko had said in surprise.
“That’s cos she’s still too young to learn how to serve a husband,” Mai grumbled playfully, only half resenting the princess’s abundant playtime.
Zuko’s eyes had gone wide. “Really?” he breathed. “They teach you that at school?”
Rather than chuckling, Mai had covered her mouth and giggled demurely, the way she had recently been taught to do, but Zuko had merely frowned and cocked his head at that unfamilliar gesture.
“You laugh like a concubine,” he commented, as candily as ever. “I prefer your old laugh. It feels more real.”
And Mai had beamed in honest joy to think that there was something genuine he liked about her. “Yeah, but I can’t do that anymore,” she said bashfully, and toyed nervously with a lock of hair. “And... well... mom said I can’t go to the arena either. I have to learn to be a lady, and ladies don’t play with knives.”
“Oh!” he said quietly, and then frowned and turned away. When he next spoke, his voice was hesitant. “Does that mean you’re... you know... betrothed?”
“Of course not!” Mai giggled, “I’m still a kid. I’m just learning to be a grown-up.”
And Zuko had smiled in honest relief. They had promised each other, then and there, that they would meet again soon, but the days dragged into weeks, and weeks turned into months, and then early one morning, Mai had woken up to find her panties streaked with blood.
She had stared at the stain in dismay. Given all the hype at school, Mai had quite been looking forward to becoming a woman, but now that the moment had come, she felt nothing but regret. Her childhood was now officially over.
For an entire season, Mai kept her monthly bleeding a secret from the household, but eventually, a servant noticed a small stain on her bedcovers that Mai herself had overlooked, and then, all hell had broken loose: her parents had wept and fussed over her, knowing that their time left with their daughter was running out, and then set to work, consulting several fortune-tellers and performing numerous rituals while their designated matchmaker poured over a list of perspective husbands. In the meantime, Mai was kept shut up within the house, with nobody but the servants and an occasional visit from Ty Lee to distract her from her impending future.
Finally, Mai could take no more. She waited for the hottest part of the day - a time when everyone drowsed - then stealthily slipped out of the house and made a dash for the palace.
“Zuko!” she cried, bursting into the arena. Shocked, Zuko looked up from his swordplay and then gaped to see her so distraught. And then, to her dismay, she had burst into tears.
She had not intended to cry, especially not in front of him, but for so long now, she had despaired of ever talking to him again that the tears had come on their own accord.
“Mai,” Zuko had breathed, and had come up to comfort her, but she drew away as if she were covered in filth.
“No! Can’t...” she had gasped as she tried in vain to dry her eyes. To her disgust, the flow of tears simply refused to cease. “I’ve... It’s... My bleeding’s started.”
For awhile, he watched her, perplexed, but finally, understanding dawned. Wordlessly, he put aside his sword, then grabbed her firmly by wrist and led her to a secluded spot just behind the left wing of the palace, and then proceeded to climb a tree.
Curiosity fought with propriety and won, and it wasn’t long before Mai was climbing up after him. Suddenly she found herself on a crude platform with makeshift walls. A tree house. Why had it never occurred to her that Zuko might be a normal boy after all?
“After Mom vanished, I needed to get away,” Zuko said, by way of explanation. “You can cry in peace here. Or you can throw a fit, if that’s what you want. You can do anything here, and no-one will ever know.”
His concern filled her with despair. What hope was there of getting a husband as caring as Zuko? There could not possibly be another like him in the entire world. All too soon, she would belong to a man who would very likely be indifferent towards her, and then she would never hear such gentle words addressed to her again, or be the focus of such sincere kindness. If only she did not have to marry! She wished she could have remained a child forever.
“Do you know who it’ll be?” he asked grimly, and Mai shook her head in response. Even though it was becoming common practise for Fire Nation noblewomen to have some say in their perspective husbands, Mai’s family was staunchly traditionalist, and it had never once occoured to her parents to talk the matter over with her.
Zuko sighed heavily and rested his hand reassuringly beside hers. “When I am Firelord,” he began quietly, “I’ll make sure that nobody is forced to marry against their will. I promise. It might be too late for you, but... hopefully... not for your daughters...?”
Mai nodded her thanks, and grasped his hand tightly. A promise of hope for her daughters reassured her somewhat, but what of her own plight? Steadily, the last of her own faith ebbed away, but just as she felt about ready to succumb to despair, a small scrap of folklore lodged itself in her conciousness.
“Kerathong,” she whispered, slightly breathlessly, and stared at Zuko, wide-eyed.
Kerathong, the festival of love. The night when children lighted candles to pray for good spouses, and married adults prayed for the fruitfulness of their marraige. Mai had never put much faith in such rituals: to wish upon a lighted candle was by far a long shot, but it was the only chance she had left.
=========
“Mai?” Zuko murmurs against her lips. His voice is low and husky now, but the tone of concern is a familiar one. Mai grins. It is so hard to believe that that beautiful boy from her childhood is now a man.
Sighing, she buries her head in his shoulder. It is such a relief to know that at long last, he is here with her, but she cannot shake off the nagging feeling that she cannot keep him with her forever. All too soon Zuko will leave her again, by will or by chance, and it will hurt like hell when he does.
A part of her longs to beg him never to leave her side, but she knows that she can never do that. It is too contrary to her nature to do so, and besides, her pride will never allow it. Briefly, she toys with the idea of telling him again how much she misses him, and hope that he will get the hint, but she knows it will sound like a cross between a whimper and a whine, and who knows how he will react to such a weakness on her part.
And so Mai clings wordlessly to him, vowing to keep virgil least he fades away into nothingness during the night, but the unfamilliar storm of repressed emotions has been too overwhelming for her, and she is too exhausted to stay awake for very long.
Slowly, reluctantly, she drifts off into a restless sleep.
~End of Ch 3 ~
A/N: Sorry this is a little bit angsty... it'll continue to be like this (fluffy angst) in the next chapter, but I promise I'll bring it back to happy squee. I like this pairing too much not to :D
Thanks for reading! <3