Fic: Finding A Way (NC) Part 1, Ch 4
Title: Finding A Way
Author: dark_malignity
Rating: NC16
Main Characters: Mai, Zuko, Azula
Supporting Characters: Ty Lee, Iroh, the gAang.
Pairing: Mai/Zuko
Pairings:Katara/Aang, Sokka/Suki. Absolutely minute traces of Zuko/Katara if you squint like mad and turn your head sideways.
Warnings: Spoilers to the end of the series. Occasional foul language.(highlight to reveal) Graphic foreplay, dry humping, oral sex, concubinage, implied S/M, relatively graphic birth sequence.
Summary: Zuko wants to get married, but Mai is reluctant because all signs point to a possibility of her being barren. Her rejection hurts and baffles him until she eventually comes clean. Together, they embark on an extensive, five-year search for a solution that would involve everything from concubinage, to ritual superstition, to rediscovering lost fire bending lore.
============
Chapter 4
It had been a long morning, Zuko thought, as he leaned back in his chair. All unbidden, his eyes drifted to the new clay plaque on the wall of his study - a token of goodwill from Omashu - and smiled at the thought of the successful diplomatic mission.
“Taking a break, Zuko?” a low voice drawled, causing his face to light up with joy.
“Mai!” he exclaimed gladly. “What are you doing? We’re not supposed to see each other, remember?”
To his surprise however, Mai merely shrugged and looked away. “I don’t see how that matters. I told you, Ty Lee’s right. Tom-tom can’t fire bend. And do you really want to pin all your hopes on the shrine of long-forgotten Earth spirit?”
Brazenly, she climbed into his lap. “Do you remember you told me that you don’t care anymore?” she continued. “Well, I decided I won’t care too. Go ahead, take a proper wife, have kids with her. I know who I am to you. I don’t need a wedding.”
Zuko frowned and gazed searchingly into her eyes. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“No,” she breathed. “But I don’t have to be your wife to be by your side,” she said, and kissed him tenderly on the lips. “Like I said, I don’t need a wedding.”
“No,” he said at last, and sighed deeply. “If I’m going to marry another, let her be the second wife. It’s only fair. That way, you’ll still keep your standing at court.”
Mai clicked her tongue impatiently. “I told you, Zuko, I don’t-”
But before she could complete her sentence, he pressed his fingers firmly to her lips, silencing her protest. “I do.”
======
It was his idea to have the wedding on the day of the spring equinox, exactly six lunar months from their reconciliation the year before.
“Just think!” Ty Lee chirped happily, as she mixed the ground henna into a paste, their previous quarrel completely forgotten. “This time tomorrow you’ll be a married woman! Have you finished your embroidery yet?”
Mai rolled her eyes. “Do I look like the kind of person who would do embroidery?” Instantly, Ty Lee’s eyes grew wide.
“Look, it’s done, okay,” Mai snapped irritably, and threw her new veil at her. As with all the other wedding clothes, it was of a rich red colour, and in a corner, just where the veil would cover Mai’s face, was a patch of gold embroidery bearing the emblem of Zuko’s house.
Instead of being appeased however, Ty Lee screwed up her face. “Oh no, that’s the worst embroidery I’ve ever seen!” She had heard from Mai’s mother that it had taken her the better part of a month to complete the stitching, but in spite of all her hard work, it was obvious that the pale one’s expertise at knives did not extend to all other sharp objects.
“Give her a break,” Katara smiled warmly. “I know the quality of the embroidery is a symbol of the bride’s dedication to her husband, but not everyone can be as good as you.”
“I guess,” Ty Lee admitted doubtfully. “But it’s important. Every stitch is like… wishing on a star. You know, like writing your hopes or your dreams and weaving it all into the emblem.”
As if weary of the topic, Mai crossed her arms. “Oh woe unto me,” she droned. “So my happiness is doomed from the start, and all because of some thread on a stupid piece of cloth.”
“Mai!” Ty Lee gasped in alarm. “It’s not stupid! It’s our culture!”
“Well, if you haven’t noticed,” she replied coldly, “our culture was the reason for the dumb ass war. And if anyone at court so much as guessed that I might be barren, that same culture would stop this marriage on the spot. So don’t talk to me about culture. Not tonight.”
Mai looked around at the stunned faces around them and grimaced before sitting down again. Wordlessly, Ty Lee settled down beside her. She didn’t like it when friends fought, and was thankful that Mai had at least stopped shouting. Humming quietly to herself, she picked up the tube of henna and begain to paint intricate patterns on Mai’s hands and feet.
The others looked on, surprised at the sudden change in mood, but Ty Lee wasn’t bothered. She knew Mai well enough to sense that the other girl treasured her company. With the two of them, there was need for neither self-censure nor apology, only the peaceful acceptance that came with a lifetime of mutual companionship.
======
“I feel like a pastry,” Mai grumbled the next morning, studying the floral patterns that adorned her hands and feet. By the time the sun had risen, she had been bathed in milk, smothered in perfumed oils, and put through three long hours of painful hairdressing before having her face painted by the imperial beautician.
And that was before the nightmare of getting dressed.
Now, she sat quietly in a corner of her bedroom, trying her best to ignore her discomfort, while the household awaited the arrival of the groom. She hardly knew which was worse: the horrible hairpiece that made her head throb from its weight and tightness, the face paint that made her gag from its terrible taste, the suffocating bindings that forced her into such an unnatural posture and made her strain for breath, or the blinding red veil which hurt her eyes and obscured her vision.
Twice, Ty Lee had come in to hold her hand, instinctively sensing Mai’s distress, and Mai was intensely grateful for the comfort.
Finally, the growing commotion told her that the groom’s procession had come. Dimly, she could make out cries of protests from her friends as they playfully blocked the procession from passing through the gates, as well as the joyful cries of Zuko’s own party as they teased, flattered, and even begged the girls to let them through. The gatecrash, it seemed, had begun.
======
Zuko took a deep breath as he approached the familiar façade and steeled himself for what was to come. Thankfully, Mai had written to warn him of her bridesmaids’ antics: while it pleased her to think of Zuko as the butt of their pranks, she had no wish to see him humiliated in front of the general populace. The two parties had thus planned the gate-crash carefully, and sufficient hints had been dropped to allow the groomsmen to take the necessary precautions.
Zuko had prepared enough red packets for each of his opponents, but as expected, every single one of them loudly protested against the amount contained within. And how could they not, when the giver was none other than the firelord himself? And so, with the help of his uncle, he had readied a secret weapon: a new fire bending trick to impress the girls into letting him pass.
Next, came the bawdy poetry exchange, held at the doorway of the bride’s house. There, the womenfolk blocked his way again; boasting about Mai’s beauty, and loudly declaring that the groom could never dream of being her equal. The groomsmen then responded with their own stanzas outlining the groom’s own prowess and how lucky the bride was to have the attention of such a man. This process was then repeated again and again, growing wilder and more exaggerated, until the spectators wept with laughter.
Finally, they were allowed into the cool of her house, but standing in that familiar living room, draped in his wedding clothes, Zuko suddenly felt a stab of anxiety. Often, he had entered the house, first as a prince, then as a monarch, but never as a husband. The weight of it pressed down on him like a stone: he was not here as a boyfriend, to laugh and play like children - he was here as a man. From here on, as long as they lived, she would be bound to him, and he alone would be answerable for her welfare. Whatever had possessed him to be so presumptuous to think that he could provide for her? Whatever made him think that he could provide for anybody, when he himself was still such a child!
“Lord Zuko?” a gentle voice assailed him, and he looked up to see Mai’s mother - his mother too, any time now - smiling encouragingly. “She’s waiting.”
Again, panic sunk its claws into him, and he turned to his uncle in wide-eyed alarm. To his surprise however, his uncle merely laughed heartily and patted him on the back. “It’s just a classic attack of nerves, boy,” he declared cheerfully, and beamed. “That’s how you know she’s the right one.”
In his confusion, Zuko almost walked down the wrong corridor, but realized his error just in time. Somehow, he managed to make his way to her room, but just as he was about to lay a hand on the door handle, Toph stepped between them, blocking his path once more.
“Not so fast,” she grinned. “First, you need to declare your love.”
Zuko gaped. He didn’t remember Mai mentioning anything about this in her note. It must have slipped her mind. Or maybe they had planned this behind her back. Or maybe… perhaps… what if she really did want to hear him say the words, unrehearsed.
“Err… ah…” he stammered, making the girls giggle.
“Louder, hot stuff. Make sure she can hear you!”
Blushing furiously, he struggled to get the words out, much to the amusement of all involved, until a cold thought suddenly struck him. Azula was on the loose. He had taken all possible precaution to line the route between their two houses, and to step up security within his, but what about the situation in Mai’s room? What with the noise and commotion, Azula could easily slip in while everyone’s guard was lowered and attack Mai while she sat trapped in her bridal clothes.
“If everyone’s out here, who’s with her?” he whispered hoarsely, much to everyone’s surprise. Impatience grasped him. The more he thought about it, the surer he was that Azula was in there at that moment, laughing in his face while she abducted Mai… or worse, slit her throat.
Blindly, Zuko pushed the girls aside and flung the door open, half expecting to see Mai’s dead body, but to his relief, everything seemed to be in order.
“Boy,” Mai’s ironic tone drifted out from beneath her red veil. “You sure know how to make an entrance.”
Sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry,” he grimaced, and smiled sheepishly at the line of surprised faces. “I’ve gotten so paranoid since my sister escaped.”
Gingerly, he walked up to her and took her hand. “Well, are you ready?” he asked quietly.
Mai nodded, then hissed in discomfort and lifted her arms to steady her headdress. “Please,” she drearily. “Anything to get out of these godforsaken clothes.”
======
The actual ceremony passed in a daze. Mai could hardly remember stepping into the palanquin, or being carried over the threshold of the palace. She hardly noticed the smell of incense, or the smoke that stung her eyes and crept up her nose, even through her heavy veil. Even the noise seemed surreal: the ritual chants, the pipe musicians, the cheering of the crowd.
It was as if all her senses had been rendered useless, and the only thing that was real was the feel of his hand around hers as he guided her, first down the walkway, then up to her seat on the ritual platform. And then later - much, much later - the feel of his index finger as he led her seven times around the sacred flame, sealing their union before their guardian deity.
When the time came for the lifting of her veil, the sudden brightness of the sun blinded her, but as she blinked and squinted against the light, she began to make out the features of the man who was now her husband.
Good god, the man who was now her husband!! The suddenness of the revelation made her feel weak inside.
“This is crazy,” she whispered, and to her surprise, he let out a sharp bark of laughter. In his face, she saw the same surprise, fear and anxious exuberance that must have been etched on hers. Only then did she relax.
Yes it was crazy. Yes, they were out of their minds to gamble with their lives like this. Peace in the world was fragile and tenuous. His infant government was shaky, and as if that weren’t enough, Azula was out there, and might even now be planning her revenge. There were just so many events spiraling beyond their control; the future was big and scary and completely unpredictable, but at least, throughout it all, they would have each other.
Return to Main Page || Chapter 5
Author: dark_malignity
Rating: NC16
Main Characters: Mai, Zuko, Azula
Supporting Characters: Ty Lee, Iroh, the gAang.
Pairing: Mai/Zuko
Pairings:Katara/Aang, Sokka/Suki. Absolutely minute traces of Zuko/Katara if you squint like mad and turn your head sideways.
Warnings: Spoilers to the end of the series. Occasional foul language.(highlight to reveal) Graphic foreplay, dry humping, oral sex, concubinage, implied S/M, relatively graphic birth sequence.
Summary: Zuko wants to get married, but Mai is reluctant because all signs point to a possibility of her being barren. Her rejection hurts and baffles him until she eventually comes clean. Together, they embark on an extensive, five-year search for a solution that would involve everything from concubinage, to ritual superstition, to rediscovering lost fire bending lore.
============
Chapter 4
It had been a long morning, Zuko thought, as he leaned back in his chair. All unbidden, his eyes drifted to the new clay plaque on the wall of his study - a token of goodwill from Omashu - and smiled at the thought of the successful diplomatic mission.
“Taking a break, Zuko?” a low voice drawled, causing his face to light up with joy.
“Mai!” he exclaimed gladly. “What are you doing? We’re not supposed to see each other, remember?”
To his surprise however, Mai merely shrugged and looked away. “I don’t see how that matters. I told you, Ty Lee’s right. Tom-tom can’t fire bend. And do you really want to pin all your hopes on the shrine of long-forgotten Earth spirit?”
Brazenly, she climbed into his lap. “Do you remember you told me that you don’t care anymore?” she continued. “Well, I decided I won’t care too. Go ahead, take a proper wife, have kids with her. I know who I am to you. I don’t need a wedding.”
Zuko frowned and gazed searchingly into her eyes. “Are you breaking up with me?”
“No,” she breathed. “But I don’t have to be your wife to be by your side,” she said, and kissed him tenderly on the lips. “Like I said, I don’t need a wedding.”
“No,” he said at last, and sighed deeply. “If I’m going to marry another, let her be the second wife. It’s only fair. That way, you’ll still keep your standing at court.”
Mai clicked her tongue impatiently. “I told you, Zuko, I don’t-”
But before she could complete her sentence, he pressed his fingers firmly to her lips, silencing her protest. “I do.”
======
It was his idea to have the wedding on the day of the spring equinox, exactly six lunar months from their reconciliation the year before.
“Just think!” Ty Lee chirped happily, as she mixed the ground henna into a paste, their previous quarrel completely forgotten. “This time tomorrow you’ll be a married woman! Have you finished your embroidery yet?”
Mai rolled her eyes. “Do I look like the kind of person who would do embroidery?” Instantly, Ty Lee’s eyes grew wide.
“Look, it’s done, okay,” Mai snapped irritably, and threw her new veil at her. As with all the other wedding clothes, it was of a rich red colour, and in a corner, just where the veil would cover Mai’s face, was a patch of gold embroidery bearing the emblem of Zuko’s house.
Instead of being appeased however, Ty Lee screwed up her face. “Oh no, that’s the worst embroidery I’ve ever seen!” She had heard from Mai’s mother that it had taken her the better part of a month to complete the stitching, but in spite of all her hard work, it was obvious that the pale one’s expertise at knives did not extend to all other sharp objects.
“Give her a break,” Katara smiled warmly. “I know the quality of the embroidery is a symbol of the bride’s dedication to her husband, but not everyone can be as good as you.”
“I guess,” Ty Lee admitted doubtfully. “But it’s important. Every stitch is like… wishing on a star. You know, like writing your hopes or your dreams and weaving it all into the emblem.”
As if weary of the topic, Mai crossed her arms. “Oh woe unto me,” she droned. “So my happiness is doomed from the start, and all because of some thread on a stupid piece of cloth.”
“Mai!” Ty Lee gasped in alarm. “It’s not stupid! It’s our culture!”
“Well, if you haven’t noticed,” she replied coldly, “our culture was the reason for the dumb ass war. And if anyone at court so much as guessed that I might be barren, that same culture would stop this marriage on the spot. So don’t talk to me about culture. Not tonight.”
Mai looked around at the stunned faces around them and grimaced before sitting down again. Wordlessly, Ty Lee settled down beside her. She didn’t like it when friends fought, and was thankful that Mai had at least stopped shouting. Humming quietly to herself, she picked up the tube of henna and begain to paint intricate patterns on Mai’s hands and feet.
The others looked on, surprised at the sudden change in mood, but Ty Lee wasn’t bothered. She knew Mai well enough to sense that the other girl treasured her company. With the two of them, there was need for neither self-censure nor apology, only the peaceful acceptance that came with a lifetime of mutual companionship.
======
“I feel like a pastry,” Mai grumbled the next morning, studying the floral patterns that adorned her hands and feet. By the time the sun had risen, she had been bathed in milk, smothered in perfumed oils, and put through three long hours of painful hairdressing before having her face painted by the imperial beautician.
And that was before the nightmare of getting dressed.
Now, she sat quietly in a corner of her bedroom, trying her best to ignore her discomfort, while the household awaited the arrival of the groom. She hardly knew which was worse: the horrible hairpiece that made her head throb from its weight and tightness, the face paint that made her gag from its terrible taste, the suffocating bindings that forced her into such an unnatural posture and made her strain for breath, or the blinding red veil which hurt her eyes and obscured her vision.
Twice, Ty Lee had come in to hold her hand, instinctively sensing Mai’s distress, and Mai was intensely grateful for the comfort.
Finally, the growing commotion told her that the groom’s procession had come. Dimly, she could make out cries of protests from her friends as they playfully blocked the procession from passing through the gates, as well as the joyful cries of Zuko’s own party as they teased, flattered, and even begged the girls to let them through. The gatecrash, it seemed, had begun.
======
Zuko took a deep breath as he approached the familiar façade and steeled himself for what was to come. Thankfully, Mai had written to warn him of her bridesmaids’ antics: while it pleased her to think of Zuko as the butt of their pranks, she had no wish to see him humiliated in front of the general populace. The two parties had thus planned the gate-crash carefully, and sufficient hints had been dropped to allow the groomsmen to take the necessary precautions.
Zuko had prepared enough red packets for each of his opponents, but as expected, every single one of them loudly protested against the amount contained within. And how could they not, when the giver was none other than the firelord himself? And so, with the help of his uncle, he had readied a secret weapon: a new fire bending trick to impress the girls into letting him pass.
Next, came the bawdy poetry exchange, held at the doorway of the bride’s house. There, the womenfolk blocked his way again; boasting about Mai’s beauty, and loudly declaring that the groom could never dream of being her equal. The groomsmen then responded with their own stanzas outlining the groom’s own prowess and how lucky the bride was to have the attention of such a man. This process was then repeated again and again, growing wilder and more exaggerated, until the spectators wept with laughter.
Finally, they were allowed into the cool of her house, but standing in that familiar living room, draped in his wedding clothes, Zuko suddenly felt a stab of anxiety. Often, he had entered the house, first as a prince, then as a monarch, but never as a husband. The weight of it pressed down on him like a stone: he was not here as a boyfriend, to laugh and play like children - he was here as a man. From here on, as long as they lived, she would be bound to him, and he alone would be answerable for her welfare. Whatever had possessed him to be so presumptuous to think that he could provide for her? Whatever made him think that he could provide for anybody, when he himself was still such a child!
“Lord Zuko?” a gentle voice assailed him, and he looked up to see Mai’s mother - his mother too, any time now - smiling encouragingly. “She’s waiting.”
Again, panic sunk its claws into him, and he turned to his uncle in wide-eyed alarm. To his surprise however, his uncle merely laughed heartily and patted him on the back. “It’s just a classic attack of nerves, boy,” he declared cheerfully, and beamed. “That’s how you know she’s the right one.”
In his confusion, Zuko almost walked down the wrong corridor, but realized his error just in time. Somehow, he managed to make his way to her room, but just as he was about to lay a hand on the door handle, Toph stepped between them, blocking his path once more.
“Not so fast,” she grinned. “First, you need to declare your love.”
Zuko gaped. He didn’t remember Mai mentioning anything about this in her note. It must have slipped her mind. Or maybe they had planned this behind her back. Or maybe… perhaps… what if she really did want to hear him say the words, unrehearsed.
“Err… ah…” he stammered, making the girls giggle.
“Louder, hot stuff. Make sure she can hear you!”
Blushing furiously, he struggled to get the words out, much to the amusement of all involved, until a cold thought suddenly struck him. Azula was on the loose. He had taken all possible precaution to line the route between their two houses, and to step up security within his, but what about the situation in Mai’s room? What with the noise and commotion, Azula could easily slip in while everyone’s guard was lowered and attack Mai while she sat trapped in her bridal clothes.
“If everyone’s out here, who’s with her?” he whispered hoarsely, much to everyone’s surprise. Impatience grasped him. The more he thought about it, the surer he was that Azula was in there at that moment, laughing in his face while she abducted Mai… or worse, slit her throat.
Blindly, Zuko pushed the girls aside and flung the door open, half expecting to see Mai’s dead body, but to his relief, everything seemed to be in order.
“Boy,” Mai’s ironic tone drifted out from beneath her red veil. “You sure know how to make an entrance.”
Sheepishly, he rubbed the back of his head. “Sorry,” he grimaced, and smiled sheepishly at the line of surprised faces. “I’ve gotten so paranoid since my sister escaped.”
Gingerly, he walked up to her and took her hand. “Well, are you ready?” he asked quietly.
Mai nodded, then hissed in discomfort and lifted her arms to steady her headdress. “Please,” she drearily. “Anything to get out of these godforsaken clothes.”
======
The actual ceremony passed in a daze. Mai could hardly remember stepping into the palanquin, or being carried over the threshold of the palace. She hardly noticed the smell of incense, or the smoke that stung her eyes and crept up her nose, even through her heavy veil. Even the noise seemed surreal: the ritual chants, the pipe musicians, the cheering of the crowd.
It was as if all her senses had been rendered useless, and the only thing that was real was the feel of his hand around hers as he guided her, first down the walkway, then up to her seat on the ritual platform. And then later - much, much later - the feel of his index finger as he led her seven times around the sacred flame, sealing their union before their guardian deity.
When the time came for the lifting of her veil, the sudden brightness of the sun blinded her, but as she blinked and squinted against the light, she began to make out the features of the man who was now her husband.
Good god, the man who was now her husband!! The suddenness of the revelation made her feel weak inside.
“This is crazy,” she whispered, and to her surprise, he let out a sharp bark of laughter. In his face, she saw the same surprise, fear and anxious exuberance that must have been etched on hers. Only then did she relax.
Yes it was crazy. Yes, they were out of their minds to gamble with their lives like this. Peace in the world was fragile and tenuous. His infant government was shaky, and as if that weren’t enough, Azula was out there, and might even now be planning her revenge. There were just so many events spiraling beyond their control; the future was big and scary and completely unpredictable, but at least, throughout it all, they would have each other.
Return to Main Page || Chapter 5